Everything In Between

Going To The Chapel!

2012-02-20T12:20:00.008-06:00

I’m engaged!!!!

My awesome Chocolate coated love muffin proposed marriage on Saturday, February 18th. It is a day to remember for sure. I was completely taken by surprise and overwhelmed with emotion.

Let me just fill you in on how he popped that magical question….

We made plans back in December to go to Philadelphia the weekend after Valentines Day. We were going to catch the Mavs vs. Sixers game and do some other fun stuff. On Wednesday night when we arrived in Philadelphia one of Mr. RFA’s best friends (Friend 1) picked us up. He inquired about our valentines day, so I told him all about it and asked him what he and his wife had done. He told me that they didn’t do much because they were going to go to a concert this Saturday that was being put on by one of their other best friends who is a musician (Friend 2).

Friend 2 then suggested to Mr. RFA that we attend the concert as well, but Mr. RFA brushed it off and said we’d probably be too busy with other stuff to attend. When we got to the house and settled I asked Mr. RFA why he didn’t want to go to the concert and told him that it sounded like it would be fun. He said he didn’t want to commit without talking to me first and that we could definitely go if I wanted to. I said I wanted to.

So fast forward to Saturday….we spent all day out shopping, getting my nails done, eyebrows done, etc. We had already had a long Friday night at the basketball game, so by the time we got back in the house at 5pm on Saturday I was beat. I told him that I was going to take a nap and then we’d get ready for the concert. One thing to know about me is that when I’m sleep or sleep is interrupted I turn into a major cranky monster. At about 7pm, Mr. RFA wakes me to tell me that we are going to be late so we have to hurry. I stayed in bed for another 15 minutes until he kept asking me to get up. I was cranky and told him that I didn’t want to go anymore and begged for us to just spend the evening inside. He went on about how we had already said we were going, so we should stick to our word…blah, blah. I was being difficult, but I got dressed and finally we were heading out.

On the way I tried to convince him again that we shouldn’t go because we were so unfashionably late to the point I thought we’d look rude. He insisted that we should still go.

We get there and the lights were low and we were ushered to our seats. The band was fantastic. Mr. RFA kept getting up and talking to some people on the other side of the place. I knew that some of his other friends were there to support Friend 2, so I didn’t think much of it.

Finally the band wrapped up and said that they wanted to do something different to end the night since we were on the heels of Valentine’s Day. Friend 2 asked for male volunteers to bring their dates to the stage and sing and serenade them. Mr. RFA didn’t raise his hand and I didn’t expect him to because he can’t sing. So two guys went up and did their thing…it was lovely. Then Friend 2 said I want one more guy to come…but no one raised their hand. He finally said he was just going to choose someone from the audience. All of a sudden he said, “My best friend since we’ve been 6 years old is here all the way from Texas…I want him to come up…come on Mr. RFA.” Mr. RFA profusely shook his head no, but then the crowd started cheering his name, so he relented and we went to the stage. I was seated in a chair and Mr. RFA was handed the microphone. He proceeded to sing Musiq Soul Child’s song LOVE to me. He didn’t know all the words, and he was spinning around the stage being hilarious. I was laughing and singing along trying to help him with the lyrics.

When he ended the first chorus he jumped off the stage facing me. The music stopped and

He said, “Aretha.”
Me: Yes, babe.
Him: I love you so much
Me: Aw…I love you too (waving hand) but don’t make me cry.
Him: I love you so much and I’ve waited so long to meet YOU. I just want to know right now will you marry me? (Out of his pocket came a red Robbins Brothers box)
Me: Oh My God…What…Oh…YES.

I was completely surprised. I didn’t see it coming a mile away. I kept kissing and hugging him and he finally had to ask me to please allow him to put the ring on my finger, lol.

Even as he was putting it on I was just staring at him waiting to kiss him some more and all of a sudden Alyssa and my mother popped out of the back. The lights came on and I saw his mom, sister and other family and friends that I had met, but didn’t even notice were there. I was overwhelmed. The tears flowed, and my smile was so big that my cheeks were hurting the next day.

After about 5 minutes someone asked to see the ring and that when I noticed it and I blurted the words, “Oh God…It’s FABULOUS!”

It couldn’t have been more perfect. I’m so elated to being the journey of merging our lives.

But first…something I never really wanted….there will be a wedding ceremony. Yes, no eloping in Vegas as I had always imagined. This wedding planning process will definitely get me back into blogging.

Here are some pics of that night and my fabulous 2.75 carat cushion cut ring with a halo.

2012 Goals - Year of Learning

2012-01-09T15:20:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all that other great stuff. As you know, I’ve been gone…yeah, yeah, I don’t have an excuse…I’ve just been enjoying my loves and the holidays and now trying to get motivated back into the second week back to work. Holidays are such a gift and curse.

I’m not here to make any promises that I’m going to blog more often…I just don’t have the ultimate urge the way I used to, but I will say this…when the urge hits, I shall blog. If it doesn’t I shant force it.

So, today I want to talk about my 2012 goals. First let me speak on my 2011 goals real quick. Last year I focused on fitness and adventure and I had a blast. Skydiving was great, running a half marathon was amazing, dropping some pounds was phenomenal, but the goal that I am happiest about achieving was the one I set to fall in love. That’s right, my 2011 list had my biggest adventure challenge ever. I had spent all these years working on me as a person; figuring out what I wanted; who I am, etcetera, etcetera. Finally, I decided that I needed to really put my best foot forward and open myself up to love. I tried internet dating, I tried speed dating, I tried blind dates, I tried simply meeting people while out, but what I didn’t think I would try is meeting someone while already being out on a date. Well…that worked.

On to this year. While adventure and fitness are still important to me, my goals focus this year is on learning.

I plan to learn new things, skills, knowledge, etc.

1. Learn to play the guitar. This is the year that I finally do it. No more excuses or delay. Mr. RFA bought me a guitar for Christmas, so I’m going for it!

2. Learn to sew - I don’t know where this desire came from. But I have it, so I want to act on it.

3. Learn conversational Spanish. This is another one I continue to delay for no good reason. This year I will learn. Mr. RFA and I are now going to Mexico in April (no long Jamaica) and I want to speak with my people comfortably, lol.

4. Learn some type of carpentry skills. Call me Aretha the Builder. I don’t know if it’s too much HGTV or what, but I want to build things…bookcases, headboards, tables. I don’t know who will be teaching me, but I’ll find a way to learn, lol.

5. Learn to control my yelling. Jesus is going to have to take the wheel. I’m doing better, but I have a mighty long way to go. I think since I’ve stopped cursing – Going 5 months stong! – I yell more since I don’t have cursing as an emphasis. Now that’s sad.

6. Learn (or brush up on) new swim techniques. Ok…first off this means I need to get my butt back in a swim class. I just want to be as efficient as a fish…is that too much to desire??

7. Learn how to do a cartwheel. The first person to laugh is not allowed to visit my blog for 2 days. In all my 31 years I have never done a cartwheel. Something about putting all my body weight on my hands has never been appealing to me until now. I will conquer this deficiency of mine…I will.

8. Learn 2 ballroom dances. This is going to be difficult because my wonderful Mr. RFA refuses to do this with me. The places I’ve found require that you register for the classes with a partner. Why is he trying to ruin my life??? Sad face…I’m going to start a whining campaign until he says yes and we become fox trot and tango experts.

9. Learn (reach) an intermediate level of knowledge about the stock market and investing. I know nothing…but I will not end the year being so ignorant in this category.

10. Learn and/or incorporate 100 new words into my vocabulary.

That's it. Do you have any goals?? If you say no, just know that I'm shaking my head at you. Get some goals and tell me all about them.

~ Ciao

Ear To Ear

2011-12-20T10:05:00.002-06:00

Mr. RFA came back from his man trip last Monday and we were both so happy just to see each other again. That four day trip felt like forever. I think it’s because he’s usually only gone for work 2 days at a time. Anyway, it was bittersweet having him back because we were both leaving the next day; me for a quick work trip and him off for a work trip and then to his hometown for the holidays.

When he initially told me that he was going to spend Christmas back home I was terribly sad. After all, this will be our first Christmas together and I wanted to enjoy it with him. And, on top of that I didn’t want us to spend a full 14 days apart. He couldn’t stop apologizing and trying to make me feel better about the whole situation. We (more like he) agreed that we wouldn’t tell each other how much we missed the other because that just makes the whole situation that much harder to handle. Really, he just feels bad when he hears me sad. I did good for the first 4 days. I didn’t tell him I missed him, but I just couldn’t stop whining about us not being together for Christmas. I wasn’t trying to make him feel bad, I was just expressing how I felt about it. Finally on day 5 I told him how badly I missed him and that I wish he could just work some magic and be here. Again, he apologized and said he would if he could. That was Saturday.

On Sunday, I was out shopping all day with Alyssa for gifts for Mr. RFA and my mother. I was really missing him, but I had also made a decision that morning that I wouldn’t keep whining about it because I knew if he could change his plans, he would. So, I decided to call him and apologize for going through my whole “I miss you sooo much” speech the day before and to tell him that I wouldn’t make the next 7 days so difficult for us. He seemed very happy that I was going to stop my bratty whining, lol.

So after a day of shopping and talking to him sporadically, I was ready to go home, wrap gifts, and have some consistent phone time with him. When we got home Alyssa went into the house first, and then quickly returned to the garage acting all concerned about me carrying too many bags. “Mommy, those look heavy let me hold some.” Of course that confused me because she never says anything like that. So I walk in the house and my mother is sitting in the living room holding a camera ready to take a picture of me, but reflexes made me turn away because I didn’t know what she was doing. Then Alyssa says, mommy turn around to the living room. And, there he was, Mr. RFA was sitting in front of the Christmas Tree with a Bow on his head. I was stunned with excitement and ran over to him and knocked him over with all the hugs and kisses I was giving him. He decided to come back early after hearing me say I missed him the day before. And, he later told me that his mom had been trying to get him to come back to Texas anyway because she said that he needed to be with me during the holidays, and apparently she felt like he was moping around missing me.

I was smiling from ear to ear for hours. I love him and I especially love the way he loves me!

~ Ciao

I Tweet

2011-12-11T08:40:00.003-06:00

I finally did it. I've joined twitter. I can be followed at @aretha_says.

Do you tweet?

~ Ciao

Holiday Giveaway!

2011-12-09T12:29:00.002-06:00

I've been blogging for nearly 4 years. I can't believer I've been telling the internet (world) all my business for so long, lol.

Over the years, I've connected with other great bloggers, and some awesome readers. Some have gone, some have stayed, some are old, and some are new. I appreciate all of you for being nosey enough to read about my life...lol...I meant to say "for caring enough."

Since it's my favorite season - the Holiday Season, I want to do a giveaway to three of my readers, inlcuding you lurkers who come but don't comment. I appreciate you, too.

Rules:
1. Leave a comment telling me why you love or don't love the Holiday season.
2. Tell me how long you have been reading the blog.

Two of the three winners will be selected at random (using a very scientific method with the help of Alyssa), and I will select the other person based on who I think wrote the best comment.

~ Ciao

I know You Want To Know...

2011-12-09T11:28:00.003-06:00

I haven’t completely given up on Journaling out loud, but it’s clear that doing it everyday isn’t working out. I’ll do another one soon…I hope.

Mr. RFA is gone on his annual man trip. He and his friends are all fans of their hometown NFL team, so once a year they choose an away game and spend a few days in a new city and head to the game. This is our first weekend apart. At least when he leaves for work, he’s back by the weekend. I. Miss. Him. I’m just a girl in love and I want my honey around all the time, lol.
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This weekend Alyssa and I will work on the first installment of our mommy/daughter interviews (Story Corp style). I also have to get some more Christmas shopping done. I have some ideas on what to get Mr. RFA, but I’m not 100% sure. He’s not an easy person to select gifts for.

I’m just about done with Alyssa’s gifts. We’re still loosely keeping with our 4 gift tradition (a need, a read (or craft), a want, and a give). I’ve covered the want and the craft, so this weekend I’m going to get the need and hopefully she’ll decide soon on who/what she wants to give to.
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Alyssa is fresh off the heels of volleyball season, and she went straight into cross country. She’s been doing very well for this to be her first season of distance running. This week, she came in 62nd in a field of over 150 girls. Of course, she wanted better, but I can’t help but be so proud of her!

With all the new distance running, she has been battling some knee pain…in the same knee and area that I have my own pain. At first I thought maybe it was sympathy pain, lol…I know that’s far fetched. At any rate, she’s been complaining for about a month, and since my home remedies weren’t working, after her last meet when she looked down right beat and in pain, I took her to the doctor.

It turns out that she has Osgood-Schlatter disease. Sounds terrible doesn’t it? Well, it turns out it’s a common issue in growing children that play sports. And, the best part is that it’s temporary because it impacts the growth bone, so as the bone. The bad part, she can’t finish out the cross country season because she has to take 6 weeks off with no running and 2 weeks off of any sports related activities. And, she has to start physical therapy. Oh, and she has to start on an anti inflammatory medication. She isn’t happy about not being able to run or participate in her athletics class. And, mommy isn’t happy about physical therapy charges. But, I am happy that we’ve identified the problem and it will be resolved!
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Mr. RFA and I have decided to go to Church on New Year’s Eve, but we haven’t settled on what church we will actually attend that evening. It won’t be my church because I’m starting to want something different. I’ve taken issue with a couple of things over the past several months.

I also want to get him a NYE gift. We’ll be starting a new year together and I expect it to be a wonderful renewal and beginning as every year in my life has been. But, I really want to get him something sweet that shows how excited I am that we are going into a new year together. I have some ideas so far, but any you have would be great!
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I recently down graded my DirecTV. When I say downgraded, I mean really, really downgraded. I did that last week, and now I’m ready to completely eliminate it. I only watch a few channels on a regular basis, so I don’t know why I’m paying for this garbage. I’m back on my kick of wondering what else I can eliminate. I’m sick of shelling out so much money every month, especially for things that I can live without.
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I want to talk to a stylist. I don’t know what my style is and I need some help figuring it out.

That’s it for now.

Have a happy and wonderful weekend!

~ Ciao

Flexitarian

2011-12-06T15:47:00.001-06:00

Over the past few months my processed food intake has increased. It hasn’t been anything crazy, but it has increased nonetheless. I can feel the difference in my body. If I have something with tons of sugar (i.e. the Mint Chocolate cookie from Panera that I had last week), I get a headache about 5 to 10 minutes later. It’s no fun getting a headache over something that is avoidable especially when the satisfaction of the cookie disappears with the last swallow.

The same is true of my body with salty food. Over thanksgiving I ate some yummy favorities, but my body gave me the loud and clear signal that it doesn’t function well off that type of eating. For example, my mother’s collard greens, that I love so much, had smoked (i.e. triple salted) hamhocks throughout the pot. As yummy as they were, I felt sluggish and had a headache after eating them.

When I listen to my body all is well and right with the world. So, I’m going to start back listening. The little areas here and there where I incorporate processed foods has to stop. Since my mother has been here, the pantry in my house along with my fridge are overflowing with processed, terrible foods. I swear everything she cooks is from a can or box. For some reason, growing up, I used to think she cooked real food. I assumed it was real because it was cooked at home. I try not to eat most of her cooking, but sometimes when I’m lazy or I’ve worked a long day, instead of cooking my separate food, I’ll eat hers.

Well, this week I’ve decided I have to stop it. My body is rebelling and feeling nasty inside. So, I’m done eating my mother’s cooking and I’m done with allowing processed foods to do the creep creep into my daily diet.

Also, over the past few weeks while observing how certain foods, ingredients make me feel, I’ve started doing research on animal protein and products. I’ve never considered becoming a vegetarian because I come from a family of meat first everything else second kind of family. And, I’ve heard the talk about the hormones in meat and the ill effect of relying too heavily on animal protein. I’ve done a good job of keeping people with that philosophy filed under the category of “weirdo.” Well, thanks to the good old internet, I’ve found more information than I ever wanted to know about the dangers and benefits of animal products.

I’ve concluded that although I love myself some meat, eating it everyday is excessive. And, not only have I been eating it everyday, but I eat it at every meal, minus my 2 snacks per day.

Now that I’m better educated on the effects of animal protein, it doesn’t change the fact I love meat. However, I’m going to lower my intake starting with only eating meat once a day. From there I’ll decrease my intake to only a few times a week. The great part about this is that I’ll be forced to experiment with some new recipes and alternative protein sources.

Oh, and while doing all of this research I found that there is a name for those that eat a limited amount of animals – flexitarian: a vegetarian that gives themselves the flexibility to still consume limited amounts of meat. That’s hilarious to me…why must we label everything, haha.

Do you eat meat everyday? With every meal?

Journaling Out Loud - Day 4

2011-11-28T16:32:00.000-06:00

Well, it looks like I haven’t stuck to my everyday Journaling Out Loud Series as expected. I don’t have an excuse for you…I simply didn’t feel like writing.

So, I’m going to skip the How would describe yourself question…instead, you can look to the right side of the page and see how I describe myself.

Today, I’m going to answer the next question in queue: Do you Love yourself?

When I initially read this question my first thought was, “Of course I love myself…I adore myself!” As much as I come down on myself, I have never thought I didn’t love me. Sure, I’ve made some terrible decisions, exhibited less than upstanding character, and simply acted unlovable at times. Despite all that, I still love myself. I figure it this way, I’m going to make mistakes, but I have to learn from them and try to come out better on the other side.

I’ve also learned/still learning that my character is one of the most important things to me about myself. I don’t ever want to look within and say, “Aretha your character is jacked up.” I want to be proud of myself; I want to make good decision no matter who is looking or who will be impacted. I want to always to be open and honest. I haven’t always been that way, and even now sometimes I make big mistakes. During those times I don’t like myself very much, but the love never goes away. It is deeply rooted, because at the heart of me, I know I’m a good person with a working conscious and the desire to grow and get better and wiser and stronger.

I thank God for my mental health almost daily. I would never want to be the person that didn’t love myself; who couldn’t see the good in my existence.

I feel like giving myself a hug after this post.

~ Ciao

2011 Christmas Wish List

2011-11-22T11:08:00.003-06:00

The Holidays are here, The Holidays are here! Colored me excited. I love this time of year...but, if you've been reading for a while you already knew that. Here is my Christmas Wish List...I'm not expecting to get much off this list, but then again, that's why it's called a Wish List.

1. I want a new Chi. I got one six years ago, but it has finally died and I want another one. This 2" is right up my alley!

2. I'd love someone to buy me 5 race entries for 2012...preferably the most expensive 5, but really any 5 will do. Hold tight for my race wish list coming soon to a blog near you.

3. I've been daydreaming about a new front door since I bought my house. I currently have the standard builders door...I need this fabulous piece of work. For your information, it's at Home Depot for the low, low price of $426.

4. Ok...if I don't get anything else on this list...can I please, please get this GMC Denali Woman's Road Bike....pleeeeeaaase! I bought the men's a while ago and it wasn't right for me so I took it back. They didn't have this one in the store, and I never got around to ordering it online. I'm drooling looking at the pic. I just know my riding would be so much more efficient with this fine piece of machinery. Oh and it's one of the more affordable road bikes coming in at only $180...I need it.

5. A Macy's Gift Card would make my day. Can it please have at least $250 on it? Thanks!

6. And, lastly, I've been wanting a real down comforter for ages...this one is only $119 from Brookstone.

Ok...so what's on your Christmas Wish List?

~ Ciao

Journaling Out Loud - Day 3

2011-11-22T08:00:00.000-06:00

What are the achievements you’re most proud of?

I’m most proud of graduating from college and graduate school after becoming an unmarried, teenage mother. Say what you will, but there was a time after I discovered I was pregnant that I didn’t think I’d amount to much. While going to college is a given for most people, after I found out I was going to be someone’s mother, it wasn’t a given for me…at least not in my mind. I knew I had to make sure a little person was fed, clothed, protected, and made to feel special…the thought of that plus going to school overwhelmed me. Despite that I started college a month and a half after giving birth, but then I gave in to that overwhelming feeling again and I stopped. I worked meaningless jobs where I was barely getting by. I epitomized the phrase, “living check to check.” I even started telling myself that college wasn’t that important, “plenty of people don’t go to college…it’s fine.” My spirit knew that was malarkey, I had the urge, the absolute on-fire burning desire to be more than my situation…and so I decided to do what my heart desired. At 25 years old, I graduated from College. Wow, it’s hard to believe that was only 6 years ago.

And, after graduating from College my entire world literally opened up. My passion for learning, even outside the classroom, blossomed like I couldn’t believe. I felt more alive, more important. And, I’m not sure if a piece of paper and 4 years of formalized learning should be the thing that makes you feel more important, but it certainly helped me. It was the first time I had finished something significant. It made me feel like I could finally be a real provider for my child and myself…Like I was one of those productive members of society.

Going to graduate school did the very same thing only to the 10th power. Thanks to God, my mother, and my hard work in undergrad, I was able to go to the top school of my choice. The school is well respected in my field, and gave me access to people and resources that I still utilize to this day. I still remember when I told someone that I was in the process of applying to graduate schools, she saw my list, and asked 1. Why wouldn’t I just go to FSU because their program was good? 2. Why did I want to move and make it harder on myself by being away from my family? 3. Why wasn’t I looking into any online programs because that would be easier and more convenient for my circumstances? Back then I wasn’t as refined as I am now, so I fired off about how good wasn’t good enough for me…I wanted to be at one the best schools in one of the best locations, and that I wasn’t going to stay in a certain location just because it was the easiest thing to do. I also told her that she could miss me with online talk. Not that anything is wrong with getting a degree online, I just knew that wasn’t for me and it wouldn’t position me to achieve the goals I was setting.

Despite the long days of working two jobs and going to school full time in undergrad, to working full time and going to school full time in graduate school, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. The decision to make my education a priority led to my two greatest achievements. I could have taken the easy way to get it done, but I took the right way for me, and I’m a better person for it.

I’m most proud of these achievements because I didn’t spend my life ignoring that desire in my heart – the desire to be better, starting with my education. I could have easily continued on a path using my daughter as an excuse not to finish, but God kept reminding me of that desire that I had spoke of so often as a child – to be better than my environment. To get outside the narrow box I had been living in. I listened.

The scripture is true, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” - Proverbs 13:12

When I had stopped going to college, my life was in limbo. I was in a unhealthy relationship with an un-ambitious person who was sucking the ambition out of me. I was ashamed for not doing more with my life. I felt like I was just floating, and not in the good cloud 9 kind of way.

Fulfilling these achievements really have opened me up to the tree of life.

As life continues, I look forward to my greatest achievements changing…one day my greatest achievement will be having raised a young girl into a responsible, productive, kind hearted woman despite all the odds stacked against me.

What is your greatest achievement?

~ Ciao

Simple Act of Love

2011-11-21T15:33:00.002-06:00

I’ve been in relationships where we talk about the future and how we see our lives playing out, but never did we both ask in depth questions the way Mr. RFA and I do. There were questions, but not like now. We dig deep to get a true understanding of how we think, why we think that way, and how is meshes (or not) with the other person’s style. We’ve talked about marriage…I shouldn’t say it like it’s past tense…we actively talk about marriage. The questions we’ve asked I would have never thought to ask anyone, and the things he asks me, no one has ever asked before. It’s really interesting. I feel like I know him better than some people I had multi-year dealings with…funny how that is.

Anyhow, so one day we were talking about some selfish reasons why we both look forward to being married one day. I mentioned the fact that I’ll no longer have to pay for a yard guy because my husband will take care of it, and how I’ll no longer have to stop at a gas station because my husband will take the cars and make sure they always have gas. He mentioned never having to go to the grocery store (or market as he calls it) again as a perk for him. He absolutely hates going for anything. He tries his best to get in and out in a flash, which is probably why he eats so much cereal (for every meal) when he’s not coming over to my house.

At any rate, so Thanksgiving is coming up…our first one together…let the crowd say “aaaaawwwww.” I sat down and made the list of things I need from the store to make every dish and when I was finished I think I may have gotten a headache. I don’t mind grocery shopping, but I hate doing it for major holidays because I feel like I’m going to be in the store for 3 hours.

Well, we were on the phone earlier and I was telling Mr. RFA that I’m going Thanksgiving shopping after work, but that I wasn’t looking forward to being there all evening. And, then with his sweet, grocery store hating self he told me to give him half the items on the list and he’d go pick them up and bring them to my house and I could tackle the other half of the list. I can’t even explain how happy that made me. I tried to talk him out of it because I know he hates the store. He insisted on helping because he said he wants to do what he can to lighten my load, and he is just thankful that I’m going to do the cooking and allow him to watch football, lol. I told him not to start any habits he can’t sustain because I may be sending him to the market more often, lol.

Seriously, though, that man makes me so happy. I never knew something so simple would make me so happy. I adore him.

~ Ciao

Journaling Out Loud - Day 2

2011-11-21T11:46:00.001-06:00

What are you passionate about?

I’m passionate about so many things. Typically when I discover something that I like, I pour my whole self into and I learn as much about it as possible. For example, running and fitness. I read running and fitness related information everyday, a couple times a day. If I don’t run or workout for a couple days I start to feel some kind of way. My passion from this stems from my passion for good health. It’s important to me that I don’t end up with preventable diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease…you get the picture. All of those run in my family, but they are all avoidable. There are times I want to eat or do certain things, but I’m more passionate about my health than those other things.

I’m passionate about politics. Seeing that I don’t really blog about this topic much anymore, it may be hard to believe, but I breathe the stuff. Given my current position in my career, I can no longer volunteer on political campaigns because it would be a violation of my code of ethics. My profession, calls for political neutrality. I don’t really think that’s possible, but someone, somewhere feels like it’s best to mute one’s political preferences. And, I agree, it shouldn’t be worn on your sleeve in the type of environment I work in. However, I don’t like knowing that I can sign wave on the corner, lol.

Nonetheless, politics is a staple in my daily life. The local politics of my community to the national politics that I’ve dubbed as foolery the past year or so; I love it all. What I love most about it is the strategy. Sure it should just be about the people and what best for the city, state, country, whatever, and it is, but the process is the most exciting thing to me. The strategy that has to go into getting something accomplished. The give and take. The democracy of it all. The fact that while I think the tea partiers are a bunch of maniacs, I love that they got so many of their picks elected to Congress in 2010. It started as a grass roots effort and they made it big and they got results in that election. Politics rock…and that’s all I’m going to say about that passion!

I’m also passionate about my success, whether that’s in my career or any other endeavor I undertake. I’m becoming less and less afraid of failure as the years move on, because as I said yesterday, the mistakes are valuable lessons for me. Despite my lessening fear of failure, I love success. I love accomplishing a goal, a dream…it’s like an emotional orgasm. In my career specifically, I am impassioned by the things I get to do. I love that what I do on a daily basis actually has an almost immediate impact on the community. Sometimes it’s a life changing impact, sometimes it’s minor, sometimes it’s not even good…but it’s an impact, and that fuels my fire to contribute to my surroundings.

I’m passionate about learning new things and experiences different aspects of life. I’m going to highlight this particular passion next year as I set out on a journey to learn all sorts of things.

Aside from all that I’ve mentioned above, I think I’m most passionate about motherhood. I want to leave and admirable legacy as a mother. I want my daughter to look back on her childhood and say, my mother was a great mommy. I want her to think of the things I did with her that she’ll want to do with her own children. I want her to be a stable person of good character. I don’t want her to hold any resentment toward me because of my decisions as her mommy. I want her to smile more than she frowns when she thinks about her upbringing. Even in the moments that she doesn’t like me very much, I want her to grow up and understand and be thankful for those moments. I try my absolute best to be a good person, not just a good mommy, for her. I want her to see what a good human being looks like. Motherhood has compelled me to do lots of things that I’m not sure I would have be so pressed to do as just a childless woman. Motherhood has shaped my views on many social issues. Everything I do is from the perspective of a mother.

To feed my passion for good motherhood, I’m always thinking of way I can be better as an individual because that will directly influence the mother part of me. I’m always thinking of ways to help my daughter grow into her best self as well.

Other passions (less fiery ones) include:
Personal finance – I’m trying to eliminate ALL debt, including this new car debt I took on earlier this year..ugh. I just really like playing around with my budgets, and watching money grow, and analyzing how I’m spending, etc.

Family and Friendships – I adore my immediate family and my friends. Unfortunately, I don’t give them the time and attention they deserve. This is something I’m always working on. I definitely let life get in the way all too often with these two groups.

Reading – I love reading…this may go hand and hand with learning. A good book can save a bad day from escalating to terrible. Being able to sit in my library and read makes me feel peaceful.

I have a ton of other stuff that I really, really, like, but these are my passions. The great thing about passions is that they change. This list would have been so different 5 years ago, it probably would have had something about my hair, education, shoes…lol.

What are a few things you're passionate about?

~ Ciao

Journaling Out Loud - Day 1

2011-11-20T16:14:00.000-06:00

Who Are You?

Who are you is such a loaded question. When I sat down to think about it…I couldn’t help but think back to my “beginning,” but then I thought, this is about Who I am, not who I was. So, I’ll tell you about my current self. First of all let me just tell you that I like her. To like yourself is major, because I’ve learned that not everyone does.

Anyway…on to who I am…

I’m a 31 year old woman of biracial decent (Mexican and Black American). I am a mother to a teenaged daughter that lights up my life even when she is being a stereotypical teen. I am kind, thoughtful, and a person of good character. I am not without my flaws, however. I too often forget to return phone calls; I sometimes act as though my friends and family will be around for eternity instead of capturing the moments with them now. I yell when I’m frustrated or upset. I’m super sensitive and a bag of water, though not in front of people very often. I’m ambitious to a point where sometimes I forget to appreciate the present. I’m competitive. I’m still more judgmental than I’d like to be. I’m healthy, I’m a Christian who considers herself extremely blessed, I’m a happy person.

I’m the love of someone’s life. I’m someone’s best friend. I’m someone’s daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, co-worker, boss, source of entertainment. I’m a runner. I’m a triathlete. I’m a writer. I’m a public servant. I’m a work in progress.

I’m a very reflective person, and it’s important to me that I’m always learning new things, gaining new experiences, and growing into a better version of myself. The person I am today is better than the person I was 5 years ago and hopefully worse than the person I will be 5 years from now.

Simply, I am a woman trying to live her best life, but enjoying the stumbles along the way. Much of who I am comes from the things I didn’t plan; mistakes; and God setting me straight. I’ve always been a planner – it’s important for me have a plan laid out on the path to my goals. But, even though I’ll never stop planning and setting goals, I have come to appreciate the unexpected.

Lastly, the biggest part of who I am right now is the student part of me. I’m learning so much from life and just living. It took a while to really grasp that what’s bigger than me is to be marveled, not rebelled against. I live my life with the intention of learning new things, growing, and enjoying the entire experience.

That’s who I am!

~ Ciao

A New Series

2011-11-18T08:00:00.000-06:00

Beginning tomorrow I’m going to start a series called “Journaling Out Loud.” I was reading a blog yesterday about a journaling challenge, which led me to another blog with 101 questions everyone should ask themselves, according to the blogger.

This made me think that for the remainder of the year, I want to “Journal Out Loud.” I love being reflective and thinking about ways I can grow and improve, and simply learn new things about myself that I didn’t even know or take the time to realize.

So beginning, November 19 through December 31, I will Journal on one question every day. I'm so sure that 43 days of journaling out loud will be very interesting. Here are the questions below…feel free to join in if you’d like!

November 19 – Who are you?
November 20 – What are you passionate about?
November 21 – What are the achievements you are most proud of?
November 22 – How would you describe yourself?
November 23 – Do you love yourself?
November 24 – What are you most grateful for in life?
November 25 – Look at your life now. Are you living the life of your dreams?
November 26 – What are the biggest things you’ve learned in life to date?
November 27 – What advice would you give to yourself 3 years ago?
November 28 – Is there something you’re still holding on to? Is it time to let it go?
November 29 – What do you want to achieve in 3 years from now?
November 30 – If you have 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?
December 1 – What do you fear most in life?
December 2 – What good habits do you want to cultivate?
December 3 – Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with? Are these people enabling you or holding you back?
December 4 – What is your purpose in life? Why do you exist? What is your mission?
December 5 – How can you change someone’s life for the better today?
December 6 – Are you afraid of letting others get close to you?
December 7 – Who is/are the most important person(s) to you in the world?
December 8 – What kind of person do you enjoy spending time with?
December 9 – What are you busy with today? Will this matter in 1 year from now?
December 10 – Are you currently living the life of your dreams?
December 11 – If you are to do something for free for the rest of your life, what would you want to do?
December 12 – If you were to die tomorrow, what would be your biggest regret?
December 13 – What is your ideal home like?
December 14 – What is your ideal physical look? What do you need to do to achieve it?
December 15 – What is your ideal career?
December 16 – What is your inner dialogue like?
December 17 – What bad habits do you want to break?
December 18 – Where are you living right now – the past, future or present?
December 19 – How can you make your life even more meaningful starting today?
December 20 – What is your ideal life partner like?
December 21 – Who inspires you the most?
December 22 – What drives you?
December 23 – What empowering beliefs can you take on to help you achieve your goals?
December 24 – Are you settling for less than you are worth?
December 25 – Is there anything you are running away from?
December 26 – What can you do to start living your ideal life?
December 27 – Are you putting any parts of your life on hold?
December 28 – What opportunities are you looking for?
December 29 – How can you love yourself more today?
December 30 – What are the most important things to you in life?
December 31 – What is on thing you’re going to do differently after this journaling experience?

~ Ciao

The Haps

2011-11-17T09:25:00.002-06:00

1. The weather has officially changed over and I’m ready to go buy some new running tights. My super awesome CW-X tights I bought last winter are still great, but I figure it’s time to treat myself to some new ones.

2. I just recently got a new pair of running shoes…they are my trusted and true asics…I love them. But, I want to venture out again and try another brand. I’m just so scared that I’m going to have another experience like the one I had with the nike line…ugh.

3. Turkey trot is coming up in one week. Mr. RFA doesn’t think the dog can handle the 8 mile leg, so we’re running the 5k. If you ask me, I really think Mr. RFA doesn’t want to spend Thanksgiving morning running 8 miles…why do I think that? Because he said something to that effect when I brought this up months ago.

4. My weight loss has been at a standstill for months now. It’s my own fault. I haven’t done anything to shake things up, and I go out to eat more often thanks to that man of mine. I told him no dinner dates for the rest of the month and all of December.

5. I start another master swim class in December. I haven’t been swimming 3 days a week like I should. This class will help me get back into the swing of things. I want to do one of the early triathlons next season, so it’s time to kick it into high gear. I also want to do a half iron man in June and a full in 2013. Oh yeah, I need, ok want, a new bike.

6. Alyssa decided to run cross country this year as a way to keep endurance during the volleyball off season. Her first meet was yesterday and she did well. Do you know it was about 150 girls out there running? Comparatively, Alyssa did pretty well…she was in the beginning to middle of the pack. She was a bit disappointed because she missed her personal goal time by 45 seconds.

7. I had pomegranates for the first time with Mr. RFA’s mom. I like them and now I want use them in a holiday dish. Any ideas?

8. I’m reading “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. You know that means I’m going to develop my own happiness project now, right?? If you haven’t read the book, read it. I’m on chapter 6 and I love it. But, then I love reading about what gets people going, especially when they are on a quest to grow and improve.

9. If you’ll recall, the theme for my goals this year was centered on fitness and adventure…It has been a blast! Next year, I’m focusing on Learning. I’ve started developing my goals, and I’m so super duper excited to finalize and share with you all!

10. Remember a couple months ago I told you all that I plan to wear my hair straight all winter. I started on that path a couple weeks ago, although it’s not really winter yet. I usually get tired of straight hair after a week, at most, but this time I love it. I washed it yesterday, so I’m rocking my natural pattern today, but I’m going to straighten it again over the weekend. My plan is to wash and deep condition it once a week, but immediately straighten it again the next day.

11. Speaking of hair, mine is continuing to grow like a weed. I’m going to increase my trims to once every 6 weeks to make sure it is healthy and fairly even. I’m also thinking about not coloring it this winter because I’m going to be straightening it every week…I’m not sure I want to deal with the consequences of heat and chemicals. The jury is still out on that, however.

12. My attraction for flat shoes is growing. Is that an age thing or a style preference change? I don’t know, but it seems kind of weird. Aside from summer time sandals and flip flops, I’m a pumps girl. With the weather changing, and me looking for shoes to keep my toes warm, I’m reaching for flats more often than not. They are making them much cuter than they used to. I’ll have to share my winter time finds with you guys!

13. I wonder if every generation wonders if politics has gone to a new level of batty during their time. Because right now I feel like the dumber you are, the better positioned you are to run for elected office. Don’t get it twisted, politics is still my favorite sport, but it’s getting harder to find the entertainment value in these morons. At some point it stops being funny and starts being shameful. In this global age where anyone, anywhere in the world can see what we are doing, I find it embarrassing that some of these people are allowed a public platform to speak. Yes, I’m talking about Pizza Guy and Texas Bafoon among the others.

That’s all for now…what’s the haps around your way?

~Ciao

Bad Mommy

2011-11-16T10:43:00.000-06:00

I hate to admit this, but Alyssa and my alone time has diminished and I feel bad about it. Mr. RFA and the dog have come into both our lives and now most of the quality time she gets with me includes the 3 or 4 of us. That coupled with the fact that mother lives at my house, means that Alyssa and I are rarely alone these days.

She is growing up way too quickly and her personality and attitude changes constantly. It’s probably part hormones and part missing having her mommy to herself. She hasn’t complained about anything, but I know that this is an adjustment. And, frankly I miss those precious moments between just the two of us.

We haven’t been on just a mommy/daughter date in a while. We did spend a half day the other week browsing the book store and chatting over lunch, but that was the first time since before she left for summer break.

I’ve decided to be diligent about carving out “our” time. With the change in our living quarters and my full on relationship, I don’t want her to ever feel like she’s in the background or less important. Again, she hasn’t said anything to make me think she doesn’t like the way things are currently going, I guess I’m just always worried about making sure my baby feels special. And, I start to have that single parent guilt that I struggle with. I just feel like sometimes I never give enough time and energy.

Aside from all of these changes, Alyssa is also a busier person these days. I’ve been allowing her to go to sleepovers with friends, she is spending more time studying, and her athletics trainings and practices have kept her busy.

These years are so important….I really feel like the toddler years and the teen years are the most critical. All the years are important…but these are critical. So, I’ve decided to reinstate our mommy/daughter dates.

Friday night we have one scheduled – I’m going to surprise her and go see that ridiculous vampire movie that she wants to see, and take her to dinner.

Next Friday night we are going to see the Texas ballet perform the nutcracker…excited!!

And, we’re going to start an interview series. I got this idea from NPR’s Story Corp. If you’ve never listened…check out the podcasts…wonderful. I’ll interview her on different topics and she’ll interview me and we’ll get it on video to have for years to come.

I’m glad it hasn’t taken me any longer to see that we absolutely need our mommy/daughter dates.

~ Ciao

2011 Thanksgiving Menu

2011-11-16T09:19:00.001-06:00

With Thanksgiving literally right around the corner…last night I finally decided that it would be a good idea to nail down the menu. I already know the must-have items Alyssa requires, so I checked with Mr. RFA on what he likes to eat on the big day. And, then I polled my fb friends to ask if they had any good ideas on healthy side dishes. I got one healthy response…sigh.

Here is the menu:

Turkey – what’s Thanksgiving without the turkey…not really Thanksgiving, that’s what.

Mac & Cheese – Alyssa would dissolve into a bucket of tears if I didn’t make this for her…it’s her absolute favorite

Collard Greens – Mr. RFA tried to demand these, but I had to inform him that I wouldn’t dare have a holiday dinner without them.

Dressing (stuffing) – I l.o.v.e. dressing….my granny’s is the best, but she won’t be here to make it, so I’m going to hook it up!

Yams – Another Mr. RFA request. I don’t particularly care for yams unless they are in the form of a sweet potato pie.

Corn Bread – Mr. RFA again. I don’t understand why he wants corn bread knowing I’m making dressing…that’s too much darn bread.

Fried Corn – Mr. RFA and Alyssa have requested this. I made this last year and it was a smash hit.

Lima Beans – Mr. RFA loves the Lima beans and so do I, but I’ve never done them for the holidays…interesting.

Brown Rice – for the lima beans of course.

Potato Salad – Mr. RFA. I’ve never made potato salad, so this should be interesting.

Roasted veggies – This is all me.

Desserts:

Banana Pudding – Mr. RFA is addicted.
Butterfinger Pie – Alyssa is addicted.
Sweet Potato Pie – I’m addicted.
Pound Cake – Mr. RFA and Alyssa. I’m going to try to figure out what kind to make by the end of the day.

Just looking at this list excites me. There are so many dishes to prepare…yay! I’m going to keep the portions small, so we don’t have a ton of food and people don’t feel the need to overeat.

So, what’s on your Thanksgiving Day Menu??

~ Ciao

Introductions and Such

2011-11-15T10:16:00.000-06:00

I’m back in Texas after being gone for 5 days with Mr. RFA to meet his family and friends. They are a great group of people. I could tell that every one of them truly love and adore him and really care about his happiness. That includes everyone from his blood relatives, to his long time friends, to his church family. They all love them some Mr. RFA. And, they all seemed to know little things about me. It was delightful.

One of his female cousins felt the need to tell me that ALL of her girlfriends have or had a thing for him at some point, but now she’s going to let them know that “it’s a wrap…Aretha has shut that down.” I just laughed and told her that’s right…tell them to go have a seat somewhere.

His mom was so sweet to me, too. I already knew she was a nice lady, but this visit to her home really showed how kind she was. We spent most of the day together on one of the days and she shared with me that she knows how much her son loves me, and wants to take care of me and my daughter. And, she said she saw how much I love him and that makes her happy to know that her son will be in great hands with me. That touched my heart so much. Oh, and she felt the need to tell me that she promises, when the time comes, that she will be a great mother-in-law, that she won’t get in our business or try to have a hand in my household. I laughed at that, and she was like, “no, I’m serious.” Too funny.

Meeting his friends was one of the highlights of the trip. He’s told me all about them, but to meet them and hear first hand what they have to say about him, really made day. First of all, they are all married and they are the kind of men that encourage him to be a good man, not to be in the streets, so they can live vicariously through him. They all informed me that it was okay to keep him in line because he often needs it.

Our trip wasn’t all about introductions, though. I got out to see some historic sights and explore his city.

All in all, it was a fantastic trip and I can’t wait to take him to my hometown. Oh wait…yes I can, but I’ll take him anyway.

~ Ciao

Silence

2011-11-08T19:30:00.000-06:00

I feel like I’m becoming less confrontational in my thirties. There was a time I would say what needed to be said without blinking an eye. Sometimes it was tactful and other times not so much. Sometimes it was necessary, sometimes it would have been better to keep my mouth closed.

Now, I think about things before I confront a situation. And, I’m noticing that more often than not I determine that things are better left unsaid. A part of that conclusion was realizing that sometimes once I confronted a situation that really wasn’t worth confronting, it added a level of stress to my life, or it mentally beat me up for a few hours, days and sometimes weeks. I made an unconscious decision somewhere along the way that I don’t want to live like that, so…now I think.

This newly realized approach of mine has nothing to do with tough situations that MUST be confronted. It’s more like issues that can be resolved without comment. With my mother being in the house, which brings its own level of stress, this approach helps me to control adding on more by bringing things to her attention that won’t do anything but cause more friction and begin to deteriorate my peace of mind.

While this is good on some fronts, this is also a problem on another. With my friends I haven’t approached certain issues because I don’t want the back and forth and bickering that will likely come from some of my comments. This is a bad way to approach dealing with a friend because honestly if I don’t confront them with certain things, who will? And, that’s what friends do, right; we hold each other accountable??

Anyway, there are things I’ve wanted to mention to a couple of them, but I continue to leave it unspoken. My silence probably makes them believe I agree with them, but really I don’t want to hear excuses, or get into a conversation over semantics. It all contributes to a level of stress that I’m happy living without.

Throat Monster

2011-11-08T15:14:00.003-06:00

Mr. RFA and I leave in two days for the family/friends introductions trip. I’m less nervous now. I figure they’ll love me as much as he does and if they don’t…well…that's okay, too.

Anyway…the problem I’m running into now is that I woke up with a mega sore throat this morning. This is always the first step in the cold process for me. I’ve been taking meds all day hoping that I can cut this thing off before it really gets started. I’ve also been drinking hot water all day trying to sooth my throat. I still feel something coming on. Ugh.

The last thing I want is to sound or look like a monster when I meet these people. And, I know how I am when I’m sick. They’ll get one of two Arethas. 1. The cranky one that could possibly wonder why they’re asking so many questions or making so much small talk with me while I’m sick, or 2. The bratty baby, who just wants to be cuddled and soothed by her honey so he can take the sick away. Either one isn’t a pleasant first introduction to the delightful person I really am.

I say all that to say…cold, cold, go away…NOW!

P.S. I know one of these people at work gave me this nasty. More than a few people have been around here sniffling, battling strep throat unknowingly, and wiping runny eyes. I don't allow anyone with any symptoms into my office, but I know their nasty has floated through my breathing air.

Ok...I'm done....I am determined to get well real soon!

~ Ciao

The 'Burbs

2011-11-07T08:52:00.000-06:00

I’ve mentioned before that I just don’t feel like suburbia is the life for me. The fact that everyone seems to have a minivan, 3.5 kids, and 2.1 dogs kinda drives me batty. It could be because I’m young with one child and no husband that I feel this way. It could be because I just like the density of major cities along with their loud noises, character, and honestly a little crime to let you know that the world is turning.

However, I decided to make the ‘burbs my home until my daughter graduates from high school because I want the good schools, safe neighborhoods, and home with a decent sized backyard…all for affordable taxes and peace of mind. I’m sure in some enclave of some major city those attributes are available at an affordable price, but that’s not where I am…I’m here.

And, as much I recognize the things I’d like in a living location that I currently feel I lack – walkability to markets, post office, any business for that matter, I also recognize the wonderful things I get where I am.

The city I live in is so charming. For starters we were named 5th be.st ci.ty in the country to live and for many great reasons. The historic downtown is a marvel worthy sight to see. Compared to most of North Texas the terrain is beautiful and lush. The school district is outstanding, and most importantly my daughter’s set of teachers have been phenomenal. The City is growing, but being very selective in the process to ensure quality over quantity. The citizens are engaged and know and care about what’s going on. And, it’s diverse. It’s not just your lily white suburb. My neighbors come in all shades of black, brown, yellow, and white. It’s delightful.

Now that Alyssa is at an age – teenager – where I feel it’s appropriate to allow her to walk to the park alone with friends, I feel comfortable that safety will not be an issue.

So, while there are other places I’d enjoy living, I’ve grown into my happiness in the suburbs….for now, lol.

~ Ciao

Vision Board Revisited

2011-11-02T13:11:00.000-05:00

It’s time to update my Vision Board. I can’t believe it’s already been nearly two years since I did the last one. I’ve been intending to update it for some time now, but just haven’t gotten around to it.

My last Board had the following focus areas:

1. Body and Soul – Working on complete health of my mind, body, and spirit.
I’ve done a good job working on my body and mind, but not so much progress has been sustained on working on my spirit and soul. This is something I have been working toward for years, and why I just can’t exercise some obedience in trying to better myself in this area is beyond me. It can be done, though, and I will continue to make this a priority.

2. Take career to new heights
I have taken my career to new heights since I created my vision board in 2009. I got a promotion in June this year and then got another department under my direction just last month. This is probably something that I will always have on my vision board. Even when I reach CM status, I’m sure I’ll want to do better and better and better.

3. Volunteer more time
I’ve done well in this area, but not consistently. I go through bursts of making sure I give time, and then I go through bursts of just not wanting to volunteer. This is also something that remains important to me, so this will stay on the board as well.

4. Show Alyssa the World – teach her how to be a traveler and not just a tourist
I haven’t taken my baby out of the Country yet :(. Bad mommy. She is now a teenager and it’s time for her to see the world. She’s going to Spain in the summer with her Spanish teacher and some other students, but I also want to take her someplace with the two of us.

5. Home ownership
Accomplished. This is going off the board. I thank God for my home…now I look forward to selling it, making a profit, and buying another, lol. Greedy, much?

6. Marriage/expanding family
Just as much as I see myself being successful in a career, I seem the same for myself in a marriage. I want to be a great wife, confidante, and mother of more than 1 child. There was a point where I started doubting that it would happen for me. Endless dates, while fun, can diminish hope of something real and lasting when it seems like no one will ever be that compatible one. Now that I’m currently riding the wave of love, my hope has been renewed. Marriage is in my future and so are some more babies. I can’t wait to write you all about how they are getting on my nerves and I need a mommy/wife break, lol.

7. Better Health – Lose Weight
Well, my health is better. Not that I ever had health issues, but with all that weight I was carrying, I’m sure something brewing in my body. While I’m healthier and lighter on the pounds, the journey is not over. I still have pounds to shed and a healthy lifestyle to maintain.

So, on my new vision board I’ll be carrying over the following items from my previous vision board: Better health-lose weight; Marriage/expanding family; Show Alyssa the World; Volunteer more time; Take Career to new heights; and Soul betterment.

I’ll also be adding some areas, such as sport. Specifically I want to run a marathon and complete an ironman within the next two years. The marathon I’m hoping I can get done toward the end of next year, and the ironman sometime in 2013.

I also plan to add something about positivity. Now that I’ve eliminated bad words, I want to really minimize negativity around. That may mean having a tough conversation with some people I know that seem to get stuck in negative ruts.

Lastly, I want to include something about learning. Just making sure I continuously learn new things.

Do you have a vision board? What are your focus areas?

~ Ciao

Tuesday Run Down

2011-11-01T10:00:00.000-05:00

1. Alyssa’s school volleyball team finished their season undefeated. They were so happy about it…leading up to the last game, they choreographed a cheer that they then did after the final win. It was so cute…they were all beaming with pride. What a great way to end the school season!

2. MR. RFA and I have both noticed that our normal life routines have gone by the wayside over the past few months. We have both agreed to refocus and hold each other accountable for things we know we should be doing, but put off in order to have excess time with each other.

3. Thanks to an awesome promo code, I registered for a Spring Half Marathon in New Orleans for the low, low price of $35. The original price was $90; can you say “winning”!!!

4. The weather has been fantastic here over the past couple of weeks. We had a few consecutive days where the temps didn’t even exceed 55 degrees. I was so happy. This is by far my favorite running weather. The air is crisp, my passages get opened up, and when my body temperature rises, I don’t overheat. I love it!

5. I’m going to MR. RFA’s hometown with him in a couple of weeks to meet everyone (family & friends). We’re going to be there for five days and I’m excited to meet everyone and to explore his city. I used to want so badly to move to his hometown, so finally going and getting to poke around like a super tourist should make for a good trip. I hope everyone likes everyone.

6. I didn’t buy Halloween candy yesterday and I had my light turned off like a grinch. I just wasn’t in the Halloween mood, or more like I wasn’t interested in buying $10 or more worth of candy for the little ghosts and goblins.

7. I had a dream that I had twin boys. One always wanted to be close to me and was very timid while the other one wouldn’t stop climbing and jumping off of things. I woke up laughing.

8. I haven’t gone to a networking event in 2 months…terrible I know.

9. I’m so excited about the holidays. It will be the first with Mr. RFA, and Alyssa has new recipes she wants to try. It is going to be a good time for all involved!

10. Speaking of the holidays…I want to try a new dish for Thanksgiving. Something that goes with the traditional foods, but something I’ve never made before. Last year I did the butternut squash with pecans. Any ideas??

23 Days - Yes, I'm Counting

2011-10-27T09:47:00.002-05:00

I have not cursed in 2 months. The urge is mostly gone. I say mostly because my mother is in my house and, well, things just aren’t the way I’d prefer my space to be. It drives me nuts when I come home to find things out of place. Last night I almost cursed, and loudly at that, because as I walked upstairs it was freezing and I noticed that my upstairs AC was on. It’s the end of October, the heat is long gone and I haven’t had my AC on for weeks, yet someone, who doesn’t pay the bill, felt the need to have it on. Not only have it on, but to have it on 70 degrees when it was all of 66 outside. Talk about pissed. But, I didn’t curse…I just turned it off.

All my good sense and better judgment told me to stick to my guns and not allow my mother to live in my house for any amount of time. But, after a guilt trip from my little sister and my mother’s tale of woe, I relented. I shouldn’t have. The atmosphere in my home is terrible right now. It’s tense and lacks happiness. No one should ever feel this way in their home amongst family…ever.

I may sound harsh and negative, but this is reality. Not wanting my mother in my home is not me just being mean, it’s me wanting to bypass avoidable tensions between me and a mother I love very much. And while the problems aren’t tangible, they are still impacting her mood, my mood, and the mood of my home. Just about everything annoys me. I’ve spent more time in my room over the past 23 days (that’s how long she’s been here) than I have in the nearly two years I’ve lived there.

Every time I go home for lunch, she is sitting in the same spot on my sofa on her laptop and it drives me nuts. Furthermore, do you know what it feels like to come home and have an adult person there after you’ve been working all day? Well, it doesn’t make me happy. I’m not saying she isn’t , in her own way, looking for a job, but for me to come home and it look like she’s been in the same spot all day, or she’s not dressed like she even thought about leaving the house that day…well, that gets under my skin.

I understand that things don’t happen overnight, which is why proper planning should go into a relocation. Sometimes, when people have a “crutch” to rely on they don’t put in all the necessary work because they know the safety net will not let them hit the ground. I don’t like that approach…AT ALL.

I'm trying to stay calm, and control my own mood - not put it under someone else's control, smile and do what I can to get my mother in a position of self sufficiency.

Whew...it feels great to get this all out through the keyboard.

~ Ciao

Relationship Learning

2011-10-26T13:00:00.000-05:00

Both Mr. RFA and I are about 4 years removed from our last relationship. Between then and now we both dated casually, though he’s been actively looking for what he wants longer than I have. However, I’ve known for a while now the type of man I want, so I’ve been keeping my eyes peeled. I’ve learned a couple of key things since being in this relationship, and I decided to share them with you all.

1. I had a “list” in my head. Why no one wants to admit that they have a list is always funny to me, but I digress. Anyway, Mr. RFA has qualities, attributes and characteristics that I didn’t even know I wanted in a mate. It just goes to show that those lists can’t be fully completed on your own. You have to apply what’s on there first to find out what’s missing. And, there are some things that I thought I wanted, that really wouldn’t make a bit of difference when it comes to the important things.

2. I didn’t realize that it would be an adjustment period going from single woman, who only had to consider herself and child, to relationship woman who now has to consider a third person AND a dog. I mean, I knew that I would have to consider my mate, but I didn’t really think about what that meant. It’s not just asking him what kind of veggies he likes with his meat, but in normal day to day thinking. I have to think about how my decisions will impact him. The first 3 weeks resulted in almost constant fails on my part. But then it became second nature to me. I love that man so much that I find it difficult to not think about him.

3. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself because I can’t believe I’m getting what I asked for. And, once, for a brief second I wondered if I was completely ready for all that I am receiving.

4. Those flaws that you recognize about yourself…yeah, at some point you actually have to actively work on them. I can recognize that I have a tendancy to be bossy, cranky at certain times of the day, slightly selfish, and annoyingly impatient. But, now I actually try to keep those things in check. Mr. RFA has some things that he’s actively working on as well….this makes our relationship life very interesting, lol. It seems we love calling each other out.

5. Imperfection is more perfect than perfection when it comes to relationships. I’ve been in the situations where everything was light and fluffy and seemingly perfect. And, it was all fake. Mr. RFA is simply great in my eyes, but he’s not perfection. In fact, he finds himself on the wrong side of my nerves about once a week, but it makes me love him that much more.

6. It's harder than I thought coming up with a cutsie name every time we talk. Ok...I'm throwing this one in just because I think we're adorable. So everytime we speak on the phone, the person who answers says something like, "Hi, Chocolate coated hunk of love" and the other will say something like, "How are you, honey caramel love lips." We do this every time we speak on the phone, and we speak on the phone several times a day. One day I called him and he simply said, "Hi, Aretha." I sat with a pause because I was confused...he started laughing and fixed it with another sweet chain of love names.

~ Ciao

I Like It Random

2011-09-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

1. Mr. RFA had planned a vacation for this week, prior to meeting me. I hate that he’s gone for a whole week and the only way we can communicate is via email. I got the sweetest email from him this morning, which only makes me miss him even more. Ok…let me stop whining.

2. I haven’t said a bad word in almost a full month. And, I’ve only wanted to twice. Both times someone or something had ticked me off. Let me just tell you all…I am so done with cursing. Yay for another positive life change! Is it selfish that I want to ask my friends not to curse around me? I mean, now I notice every bad word they say and it makes me cringe. I don’t want to ask them just because it makes me cringe, but more so because I don’t want to fall back into having a potty mouth. Seriously, your thoughts?

3. I’m getting another career itch. This is starting to happen more and more often. I discussed my thoughts and feelings with my boss of 6 months about this yesterday. He finds my candor shocking…I find his shock normal.

4. My mother is moving here in 2 weeks and I’m not looking forward to it at all. And, that doesn’t make me a bad person (why did I feel the need to write that?). I’m going to push mean and selfish Aretha to the back and focus on being kind, gentle, and patient. That’s the only way to survive the impending temporary disruption.

5. I don’t know if someone is playing a prank on me or what, but I’m getting tons of calls from the public with the silliest questions. I generally don’t get any calls from the public…none. But, over the past week it’s been about 10 a day. I really need to go look at our website and see if my number is listed someplace by mistake. Color me annoyed.

6. My hair has been so blah lately. I mean don’t get me wrong, it looks good because I simply have good looking hair, but it hasn’t looked ahmazing in a couple of weeks. I’ve been mostly rocking the wash and go. It’s time for some twists outs…I’m sick of this tight curls of mine.

7. Speaking of hair, I’m going to attempt to rock only straight hair during the winter months. During this time, I’ll monitor my hair for breakage and make sure I stay on a strict trimming schedule. I’m excited about the idea of straight hair for an entire season. I hope I can stick with it and not get bored. This also means I need to purchase a new chi because my old one is worn out.

8. I’ve been cooking up a storm lately. I typically cook about 3 times a week and we have left overs 3 days, and then on Saturdays it’s every woman/girl for herself. But, lately I’ve been cooking like every day. I think it’s because we almost always have a dinner guest.

9. Mr. RFA went to Alyssa’s volleyball game with me last week and he was cheering up something. At one point, it was quiet on the court because the teams were coming out of a timeout and he yelled, “Alright Alyssa….woooo.” She slapped her head on her forehead in embarrassment, but he and I just laughed. Afterward she told me that she thought it was funny, but was in shock that he actually did it.

10. Alyssa is going to Spain next June with her Spanish teacher and some other classmates. I’m so excited. She can put her Spanish to use in its natural setting. The part I don’t’ like is that I’m not going. I can’t believe I’m going to let my baby go to another continent without me. If I can roll up on an extra $3k in addition to her cost, I will go.

What's random with you?

~ Ciao

Running and Swimming

2011-09-26T12:00:00.002-05:00

My runs have been great over the past week. My knee has been acting properly and I’m feeling even stronger. A little rest was a great thing for my knee and legs. I logged 15 miles last week, which I’m surprisingly happy about.

This week, I’m going to reincorporate tempo runs into my training. I haven’t done a tempo run in months. Whoa…months is a long time. If I want to increase my speed I have to get consistent with them. My plan is to do 2 tempo runs a week, an intermediate run, and my long run at goal pace.

In addition, Mr. RFA showed me some great quad strengthening exercises to try that I’m going to incorporate 3 times a week during my stretch and strengthening sessions.

Although my workouts and runs have been consistent, since last week I’ve felt a sense of renewal. I think it’s because I’m back on a training plan and not just doing my own thing. I already knew it, but I’ve been reminded that I like plans….that’s just how I am. They make me feel structured, and I can check things off as accomplished. That always makes me happy.

On to swimming…

I’m struggling big time to stop using so much of my legs while swimming. That’s the reason for the jelly legs during the transition from pool to the bike. I finally found some information that I hope will help me with the problem. So, I have to go buy some hand paddles and a leg buoy. The leg buoy will make sure my legs stay parallel to the water and prevents me from moving them. The hand paddles will ensure that my stroke is accurate and that I use my shoulders to push me forward. I’m going to go get this equipment this week and start working on my swimming over the weekend. I hope this helps with my leg overuse problem.

How is your working out going? Any new fitness goals? Any recent accomplishments? Do tell!

~ Ciao

Checking In

2011-09-14T08:39:00.003-05:00

1. My sister started Ministry School yesterday. I'm sooooo proud of her for following God's word and not allowing outside pressures (me included) sway her from God's plan. So excited to see how God moves in her life.

2. One of the homegirls is relocating here at the end of the month...color me excited! It's going to be great having her near. A world without true, no matter what, I love you despite girlfriends is a sad sad world....I'm so lucky to have my 3 special ladies!

3. Mr. RFA has to leave town for a few days for business....booo, why can't we just create a love den and never leave each other? lol...ok, I'm kidding. I will miss him, but a little time apart never hurt anyone.

4. Speaking of Mr. RFA, we've already had our first argument. And, actually while we were having it, I wanted to burst into a cheer of giddiness. Before you think I'm really crazy, let me explain. So, we started off with a disagreement, which turned into my voice being raised and his tone getting tough. But then in the midst of my upsetness I realized that it was our first argument and I knew we would get through it. It made me happy to further realize that he's not perfect, and despite that I love him anyway. And, he sees that I'm not perfect, but he loves me anyway. That's right...we love each other! So, I didn't burst into cheer during the argument, but I did afterward and he lauged at me, lol.

5. Although I've known it to be true long ago, it still stings to realize that everyone isn't happy for your happiness.

6. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not rich. I'd do so much good with the money...I promise I would. lol.

7. On Labor day the weather switched to perfect, and at some point over the past couple of days it went back to terrible. It was 107 yesterday...did mother nature not get the memo that it's September?? Today it's cloudy, but not a drip of rain has dropped. My water bill is going to be ridiculous from all the lawn and foundation watering I've had to do to compensate for this horrible drought.

8. Over the past couple of weeks I've been doing a lot of yard work. I re-mulched the front yard, planted a couple of new fall friendly flowers and plants, and put out landscape lighting. I am almost completely head over heels in love with my front yard. There are still a few things I need to do to make it perfect. For example, I want to dig up one of my hedges and plant a tree in its place and plant another on the other corner of the house.

9. More on landscaping: In the backyard on one side of the house, the grass won't grow...I think it's because it gets limited sunlight. So, I decided to dig up the little remaining grass and level out the dirt. After doing that, I created a rock path. I planted a flower bed close to the house with some shade friendly plants, put mulch down, and lined it off with a flower bed border. I even put stepping stones down to create a path from the patio to the side gate entrance. The finished product looks so great...much better than a dirt path with little patches of dying grass. Next up for the back yard, I want to build a retention wall and I want to extend my patio for the entire length of the back of the house...right now it's only half the length of the house. Those things will be pricey, but maybe I can do them a little at a time.

10. I have a post to write on Alyssa. She's been doing great on some things, but yesterday I wanted to knock her out...all the way out. It deserves a post of its own...sigh.

So, what's up with you all?!?!?

~ Ciao

Casual Friday

2011-09-02T11:20:00.000-05:00

Fridays are amazing days…just fabulous, especially when they mark the start of a long weekend!

Fridays also can be very strange and perplexing days…or should I say the behavior that people tend to exhibit on Fridays is strange and perplexing.

So at my oh-so-lovely workplace, we have something called casual Fridays. I’m sure you all are familiar either directly or indirectly. I really despise casual Fridays during the summer months because there is always someone that goes too far. Today has been one of those days….

Violation #1: I have a monthly meeting on Legislative issues impacting the community. People from other entities attend this meeting as well…and frankly, it’s just a very professional meeting. Well….tell me why a co-worker rolls in with some khaki shorts and a polo shirt and a pair of loafers. His get-up would have been fine if it were Saturday afternoon, but dude…it’s 8:15am on a weekday. I was so embarrassed.

Violation #2: I’m sitting in my office, minding my business when someone from another department brings me some paperwork that requires my approval. I was in the middle of drafting and email when she walked in, so I didn’t look up right away because I wanted to finish out my thought for the email. When I did look up, I know I had the screw face…this woman had on a beach dress. You read it right…a beach dress WITH flip flops. I don’t even understand how people make these decisions in the morning.

Well…enough of that…I’m so excited it’s Friday! Let another amazing weekend begin!

~ Ciao

Goals For The Month - September 2011

2011-09-01T10:56:00.001-05:00

I haven’t documented my monthly goals here for a few months; however, I have been tracking progress in all of these areas outside of the blog. I’m doing good with some, and better with others. Here is the plan for September.
Quick note, I’m so excited about this month. I can’t put my finger on exactly what has me all giddy about it…but it just feels like it’s going to be a spectacular month. I’m hoping the weather will begin to change and get us out of the triple digits.

Soul Betterment: I’ve been slipping with my church attendance. Basically I’ve been going sporadically – maybe twice a month. I’m working my way through a devotional that is teaching me some great things, but overall I have much room for improvement in this category of my life. I feel like I’m always on the brink of something great, and I know that if I would give God ALL the glory and attention he deserves I could get off the brink and into the midst of the greatness.
1. Go to Bible Study 3 times this month.
2. Write in prayer journal every day.
3. Study the book of Matthew.

Fitness/Health: This is probably my favorite category these days.
1. Run 15 miles a week
2. Do weight lifting routine 3 days per week
3. Swim 3 days per week (I’m taking this down from 4…that extra day will give me some much needed time)

Finances:
1. Pull credit reports and scores. I haven’t done this in about 6 months, so it’s about that time.
2. Revise my budget. I feel like I just did this, but I haven’t since the start of the year. Some things have changed that I need to reflect, and I need to reprioritize some stuff as well.

Career:
1. Close out a headache of a project that I’ve been working on for 5 months. Finally…I can see the light at the end of the tunnel…I’m going to make sure I reach that light this month, so I can cross it off my list.

Community Service: I’m not sure if I mentioned, but recently I was appointed to the board of a non profit. It’s one that is located in almost every city. Anyway, I ‘m really excited about it and I can see it taking up as much or as little as my time as I want. I’m going for the former.
1. Determine what committees I’ll lobby to serve on.
2. Reach out to another community effort that I want to help out on. I’ll give more details on it later.

Adventure:
1. Go indoor rock climbing again…it’s just so fun!
2. Cave exploring. We’ll take a 1 day trip south of us to check out some very cool caves I’ve read about online. I think Alyssa will love this.

What are you goals for the month?? Do share!

~ Ciao

Wednesday Catch Up

2011-08-31T11:19:00.002-05:00

1. I haven’t used a bad word since Friday, August 26th. I’m so proud of myself. I’ve thought a few…but haven’t said any. Yay me!

2. Alyssa’s first 8th grade vball game is tomorrow. I’m excited, she’s excited, summer is officially over and we are back in the groove of things.

3. I’m looking forward to the month of September beginning. The year is flying by, but I’m on target to meet most of the goals I’ve set. I can’t wait to write that wrap up post. There is one goal on there in particular that I’m simply elated about.

4. I made the most amazing cabbage last night. The best cabbage I’ve ever made. It had onions, carrots, and red potatoes in it. OMG…delicious. I usually just make my cabbage with an onion and a little salt and pepper. I was craving Ethiopian cabbage last night, so I tried something new. That dish has now made it onto my main foods dish…yes!

5. A friend of mine from college is in town and I can’t wait to catch up with him tonight. I haven’t seen him since 2005, but thanks to that darn FB we have kept in touch over the years. I still remember him being my personal editor for my personal statement to graduate school…lol, good times.

6. Mr. RFA’s mom is coming to town this weekend and we are meeting. I’m slightly nervous; he’s as cool as a cucumber, though….how does that happen? He said he’s not worried because he knows how the both of us are, so he already knows everything will go well.

7. It’s time for me to create a new vision board. I haven’t updated it since I made it in 2009. On that original board, I have some desires shown that have been fulfilled – home ownership, volunteering more time, took career to the next level, and lost weight. There are still others on there that will need to go back on, but I have some other things that are in my vision at this point. I think this will be a perfect project for a long weekend.

8. I forgot to mention that Mr. RFA has a dog. He’s a boxer, and honestly the most well behaved dog I’ve ever encountered. I don’t know if I’m just all the way gone in the head or what, but I really like the dog. And, the dog loves me…that’s a shocker. Oh, and the dog likes to run, so when I dog sit (yes, I’ll be dog sitting as Mr. RFA takes regular business trips) he’ll go on my morning runs with me. And, lastly, all four of us – Alyssa, Mr. RFA, the dog, and I are going to run the Turkey Trot together this year! Excited.

9. One last Mr. RFA story. After walking the dog on Sunday, we were sittting on a park bench cuddling and giving each other kisses, and he started talking about how he was out earlier in the day looking for some silver shoes for me (2 nights earlier the strap on my silver shoes popped and I was devastated). He saw some that he thought would look sexy, but then he thought I should be there to give the final okay...haha. Anyway, he told me that he got me something else instead, something that was also silver, and would accessorize with any color shoes I wear. Out he pulls a silver, shiny key to his house. He told me that I already have his heart, but he wants me to have access to everything. I melted...yep, I sure did, lol.

10. I need a new veggie to try for the Fall...any suggestions??

So, how are things your way?

~ Ciao

Introducing....

2011-08-29T15:04:00.004-05:00

...My boyfriend! Yep, that’s right, I have a boyfriend. I went back and forth about telling you all, but it just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t mention it here. And, besides he has me so freaking happy that I want to shout it from the rooftops, mountain tops, bar tops, over the intercom system at grocery stores….I just want everyone to know that this man, my man, is amazing!

I’ve been blogging since April 2008 and I have never come here to report having a BF…well, because I haven’t had one. And, I’ve had the opportunity to be exclusive with many…to have a “title”, but I had never met a guy that made me want those things with him, until a few weeks ago when everything totally changed...

How we met:
A guy I had gone out with a few times asked me to dinner one Saturday night and I agreed. He was cool, but not someone I saw anything with…just nice to hang with. During dinner he asked if I had ever heard of playdate. I said yes at which point he told me one such event was going on that night and he wanted us to go. I immediately told him that I didn’t want to go and that he should probably go with a guy friend or alone because there are tons of single people there, especially women. We went back and forth on it a few times, with me finally agreeing to go.

We walk in, and I immediately regretted my decision because there were some cuties in the building and I didn’t want to be handcuffed to some dude I wasn’t into for the duration of my night.

We made our way around the venue and finally settled at a table with Uno. When I sat down I noticed a very handsome man across from me. We said our quick hellos and the games began.

Let me make this long story short: I didn’t leave that table all night because the man across from me and I were having wonderful conversation and fun playing. My date got enthralled with giant jenga and dominos, so with the exception of him coming over for quick chit chat, he was out of my hair for most of the night. As 2am rolled around, the man across from me asked for my number, so we exchanged info and that was that.

I was nervous about my date being upset because I figured he must have sensed something - evidenced by a slight attitude he got with the guy at one point. I just wanted to get back to my car with no problems. Turns out my date didn’t even bring up the fact that I was talking to the other guy the entire night. As soon as I got to my car, my phone rang and it was the man that I had been talking to all night.

From that moment I’ve been on cloud 9!

We’ve spent every other day together and everyday talking for hours. He’s amazing, but not some perfect mythical character from my checklist. I love how compatible we are, yet different. I could write an endless list of all the things I adore about him, but I won’t. I’m sure over time you’ll get little glimpses. So, in the process of thinking long and hard about a blog name for him, it hit me that I already know what to call him. His name here will be Mr. Right for Aretha. I’ve used that name before to describe the man I believe would be best suited for me. It’s a bold name for an early relationship, but it’s exactly how I feel.

It feels so good to know that someone has been looking for you and that he turns out to be the one you’ve been looking for, too. One time for my baby, Mr. RFA!

~Ciao

The Words From My Mouth

2011-08-25T14:26:00.005-05:00

Someone recently asked me what I considered to be a major flaw of mine. My immediate response was my use of bad words (curse words, to be exact). I told him that I don't curse a whole bunch, but I really feel like I shouldn't do it at all...not even what I consider the little words like, d-word or the a-word (lol).

I mentioned to him how I cringe inside everytime a bad word crosses my lips, yet they still so easily roll of my tongue when I'm not at work or around Alyssa. I don't understand it.

I told him the problem gets worse around certain people...people who also curse. Sometimes I use bad words for no reason...it doesn't even add emphasis, I just use it...it's really terrible.

For those long time readers of mine, you've seen countless mentions , and then more mentions of me setting goals to stop cursing...giving it up for lent, and on and on.

Well, today is the day. I can beat bad foods, I can beat inactivity, so darn it I know I can beat bad words. I may need to chronicle this journey much the way I have my weightloss, lol. Just so I can stay on track.

The person who asked me the flaw question has also agreed to help keep me in check, lol. If I say bad words around him, he'll mention a topic that I don't like. Here goes...I'm on my way to being a clean-mouthed woman!

Here is the scripture that I will call upon to help me through this:

Matt 12:36-37 “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

~ Ciao

Tuesday Ten

2011-08-23T10:53:00.001-05:00

1. Alyssa started the 8th grade yesterday. The start of her final year in middle school…yeah, that’s a big deal right there! She’s so awesome and I’m so proud of her!

2. I’ve been out and about hard lately. I’m reminding myself that I’m a 31 year old woman, lol.

3. Swing out classes are getting more fun by the week. My next class is tomorrow. I’m going to try a new place; they teach line dances after swing out is over, too. Excited!

4. I have news to share, but I’ll tell you at the end of the month. I’m a ball of happiness and excitement….that’s all I’m going to say about that for now.

5. I really want my homegirls to move their butts here. Two out of three have made plans to come in October to start looking around. That makes me happy, but I know how they are…that doesn’t mean they are moving, lol.

6. My sister is an amazing young lady. She seeks God and listens to him. That is to be commended…for real! She’s setting off on a very exciting journey this fall…I’m proud of her in ways she will probably never understand.

7. Have I mentioned lately that I have fabulous hair. Sometimes I think it’s magical.

8. I stay antsy. One day I’m just going to sit still and say, “There isn’t a thing I’d change.” That day is coming…I feel it.

9. So, I keep thinking about my plan to leave the country when Alyssa goes to college, and if I’m not married by then. The fact that in 5 years she won’t be living in my house makes me feel some kind of way. And, when she hits her college campus, she’s going to need me. So, I think I’ll delay any potential expatting (so not a word) for a couple of years after she gets into the swing of things.

10. For the past two weeks I haven’t been lotioning at home. I wait until I get in my office. I have no idea why…it’s really nuts. Don’t judge me, though.

What's going on with you?

~ Ciao

Weight Loss Wednesday - One Year Later

2011-08-17T09:02:00.003-05:00

It has been 1 full year since I started my healthy living lifestyle. I came back from vacation in the Dominican Republic as a 30 year old overweight woman with abdominal pains. After going to the doctor a couple weeks later, I discovered I had fribroid tumors and that fact combined with a deep desire to be physically healthier, sent me on the most amazing ride of my life. It hasn’t been all easy, but I tell you what…it’s been a fantastic year. I’ve gotten my body to do things I never imagined I’d want to do. Like run a half marathon, finish a triathlon (and in respectable times for a newbie), bike for 20 miles in the name of training, run for fun, swim laps 3 days a week as opposed to splashing around like a kid on the beach. I set goals, I worked toward them. I met some, and I’m still working to reach others.

At times 365 days seems like an eternity and then other times I wonder where the time has gone. I started out with a goal to lose 55 pounds. I haven’t done that yet, but surprisingly I’m not devastated by that. I’ve made some bad…down right terrible choices over the past 4 months and for that reason I haven’t met my goal. I don’t regret the choices I made. As a matter of fact it has helped me keep myself in check. There are always going to be opportunities for me to get off the right path, I have to learn to make the hard choices and do the right thing. That goes for all aspects of my life.

My body looks different, it feels different. My mind is different…I don’t just eat without thinking anymore (even when I choose badly, I still think about the consequences)….I don’t choose to lounge around over exercise. Everything has changed in just one year. But, the most amazing thing is that I know things will continue to change year after year from now on. There is no going back to the girl who made excuses about why she wasn’t healthy or why eating all of the unhealthy foods I wanted was justifiable.

As I type this today I weigh 180lbs on the dot. That means I have gained a few pounds since my last update…those bad decisions I mentioned…yeah, I wreaked havoc on vacation and I’m still paying for it. At any rate, when I first started on this journey I weighed 218.5lbs. Some may say it’s only 38.5 pounds, but I say those 38.5 pounds have changed my life.

I’ve learned so much about my body and what it likes, doesn’t like, and how it reacts to certain things. I’ve learned that the more I lose, the harder it is to come off. I’ve learned that caloric intake is important no matter what some people tell you. I’ve learned that too much sugar makes me want to curl up on the floor and vomit. I’ve learned that I feel the best when I don’t eat processed foods. I’ve learned that I literally transform into superwoman whenever I’m swimming or running. I’ve learned that biking is my nemesis, but I won’t stop until it becomes one of my dear friends. I’ve learned that I have friends who care about my interests beyond girl talk and hanging out; they want to see me succeed at a healthy lifestyle. I’ve learned that whatever I want is for the taking.

And, most of all I’ve learned that there is no success in anything, especially weight loss without GOD!

Think back over the past year of your life....have you become a healthier person, or have things stayed the same, or even gotten worse? You can make a change today...it's all up to YOU!

I’ll post pictures at a later date…I wasn’t expecting to blog about this today, but something moved me!

~ Ciao

Monday On My Mind

2011-08-08T08:46:00.003-05:00

1. I went on a kind of blind date yesterday for brunch. I say kind of because I met him before, but I was birthday wasted and couldn't remember what we talked about (well vaguely) or what he looked like. We've been talking on the phone for a few weeks and he's cool, so we finally went out. He's interesting...in an intriguing way.

2. I practiced senegalese twists on my hair yesterday. Alyssa wants that hair style and when I called a girl I know that does them she said she'd give me a discount and "only" charge me $115 (apparently she usually charges $175...the hell). Um...No. So, I spent a part of Saturday watching youtube how-to videos. I went and bought the right kind of hair and I think I got it down. I put about 5 of them in my hair and they looked really good. I know it's going to take a while to get it done, though. You have to twist the two different strands of hair while also twisting them around each other. i.e. lots of work. Anyway...it will be fun and I'll save $115.

3. Speaking of youtube...I love youtube. It's taught me how to Dougie, brush up on my wobble, and now senegalese twists. And, it's good entertainment.

4. I took my first swing out/step/hand dance....whatever you call it lesson on Friday night. It was so fun. I have down the basics - the home, the walk, and the full turn. That dang half turn throws me off my game, though. I'm going again tonight!

5. I finally layed the Palm Pre to rest. Hello EVO. It's been a good phone so far...3 days and counting, lol. There are some features that the pre had that this does not and I wish it did.

6. My long run this weekend was 6 miles. My knee was a little achey right as I was finishing up. My knee gets on all my nerves. I have a triathlon next weekend and I want to do a half in October...I need my knee to act right. I'm only running once during the week this week and my long run....other than that I'm going to focus purely on weights (leg strength and core).

7. I went to the Doctor last week and she was impressed by my weightloss over the past year. After some further assessments, though, my goals have changed. I was originally trying to get to 163.5 and now my goal is 150. I really have to work on my body fat percentage as well. Although it's decreased significantly, the ratio of fat to muscle is still far too high.

8. Alyssa and I have narrowed down our mommy/daughter vacay destination to Belize or Costa Rica. I'd prefer to go somewhere other than an island, but she wins!

9. This drought is driving me nuts. I'm all kinds of paranoid about my home's foundation. Rain, Rain, please come and stay for a a week or so. We've only had 6 inches of rain since January. That is terrible.

10. Happy Monday!

~ Ciao

GirlFriend Trip 2011 - Toronto

2011-08-03T15:29:00.001-05:00

Girl Friend Trip 2011 was fantastic. Canada is quite a place…ALL the people are super nice and helpful. I’d love to do a full recap, but it would take way too long to go over everything that we covered during the past week. I’ll try to hit some highlights, though.

1. Skydiving – Remember two years ago during GF Trip 2009, my girls and I indoor skydived…well this year we did the real thing. We jumped out of a perfectly good plane from 12,500 feet in the air! It was by far the most amazing thing I’ve ever done! EVER! I would recommend everyone to do it. As a matter of fact, I’m going to take Alyssa on her 18th birthday! Oh, and I'm going to do it again in February! There was no feeling of falling. When I jumped out of the plane it literally felt like something caught me. I was just floating like a bird through the air. It was beautiful and I took in all the sites. Don’t worry…a video is coming soon! It takes about a week for them to finish editing and send it.

2. Niagara Falls – If you don’t believe in a higher power, going to Niagara Falls will surely change your mind. God is Good! It’s a breathtaking site to behold. We went on the Maiden of the Mist boat which took us eerily close to the falls where the mist of the water splashed all over us. The Town before the Falls was so beautiful and picturesque as well. I’ve heard the Canadian side is much better than the US side, so if you can, go one day. It’s amazing!

3. Exploring Toronto – Again the people were absolutely amazing. They love their country and they seemed to love my group and me as well! We’re so awesome, though, people can’t help but be drawn in by us, lol (truly). The City of Toronto is beautiful with a multitude of cool neighborhoods. We rented a condo in lieu of a hotel and we stayed in a half greek – half middle eastern neighborhood. There were restaurants and bars everywhere…it was fabulous.

4. My girls – We’ve known each other for 16 years and 11 months, yet this trip made me feel like we had renewed our vows. I love those heffas with everything in me and though we don’t live in the same cities anymore, they have never stopped being my best friends. I feel sorry for the women who don’t have these types of friendships the way we do. I’m a lucky lady, indeed!

5. The Motor City – Before we headed to Toronto, we all flew into Detroit for a day to experience that city since it was so close to our final destination. We went to the Motown Museum and it too was amazing. For only $10 you get transported back in time to an era where, as the old folks would say, “they made real music.” There was tons of singing and finger snapping by me and the girls. I also learned tons about Barry Gordy’s life and that of his family’s. Fascinating I tell you.

6. Vacation Hair – I bought the wig that I had been yearning after before I left. I wore it and I loved it! One time for vacation hair and my first wig experience. I’ll pull it out every now and again to spice things up!

I have so much more to talk about regarding this vacation, but I’ll spread it out over a few posts. Just to give you a glimpse…expect posts on Canada’s perception of the US and Americans; Subway Shenanigans; Talking to Strangers; and Girl Talk!

I hope you all didn’t miss me too much :).

~ Ciao

Vacation Hair

2011-07-25T08:35:00.003-05:00

GF Trip 2011 kicks off tomorrow in Detroit before we head to Toronto for some music, adventure, and fun! For the past couple of months leading up to now I've been having thoughts of vacation hair. Vacation hair, as defined by moi, is hair completely different from your normal hair style(s). Typically my hair is long and curly, so, in my mind, my perfect vacation hair would be short and straight. So in order to get that hair, I thought of a couple of options.

Option 1: Get a full sew-in. A friend of mine here is a kitchen beautician on the side. And she schooled me on the language of weave and artificial hair. Anyway...we talked about the sew-in. It sounded like a good idea until I started thinking about what if I didn't like it. Or, what if in the middle of my vacation something happened to the hair and I wanted to snatch it out of my head. That may not be as convenient as I think, so we moved on to the next idea...

Option 2: Get a wig. Whoa...I've never been a fan of wigs. Well on some other people they look good, but I've seen enough bad ones to make me nervous. And, that whole FB campaign against lace fronts had me thinking I'd look like a clown, lol. Ok...after I got over all those thoughts, a wig sounded like the best option. If I didn't like it in the middle of vacation, I could yank it off. Shoot, I was even thinking about getting two different style just to keep it vacation spicy!

So we headed off to the wig shop (me and my KB friend). I picked out 5 styles...apparently that's the limit. We spent 10 minutes getting my hair under the wig cap, and then it was time to transform. The first wig..a super short and sassy cut looked hideous on me. It was a cute style, but it didn't look or feel like me. I felt like a fraud...if that makes sense.

The second wig was still short, but a little longer - not coming past my ears. That would just didn't look right.

The third wig was a lacefront - don't judge me, lol. It was actually my favorite. It came just a tad under my ears, which made my earrings look fabulous the way they were peaking out and blinging. and in the front there was a cute swoop bang type thing. I simply loved it. BUT...I felt like my face looked the size of a watermelon. I just really kept thinking my face looked humungous. The wig lady and my friend both told me I was losing it. They loved it and said it looked great.

I didn't make it to the other 2 wigs because I liked the 3rd one so much. But, I couldn't pull the trigger...sigh. I think I'm going to run back over there today and get it, though, lol. I woke up thinking about that wig.

Ok...so left with no wig and no vacation hair...I decided to settle for straight hair. Here is the hair transformation...nothing drastic...just curly to blow out to straight.
This is straight out of the shower, no moisturizer or anything. I actually washed my hair yesterday with shampoo, which I only typically do once every couple months. This picture didn't pick up my curls very well, but you get the point.

Here is post blow out with the comb and hair dryer. Poofy hair rocks! lol

And, here is straight hair and I did a trim! I needed that trim something serious. So, for now I'll have long, straight vacation hair. But, I so want that wig to switch it up on a few days!

Do you do "vacation hair"?

~ Cia

Revised

2011-07-21T08:51:00.003-05:00

I’ve revised my running calendar since the start of the year. And, the race I wanted to do this summer…um, no. It’s hot like heat I’ve never felt before. Unless a race starts at 5am, I can’t do it during these extreme months. I’ve been doing my once weekly outdoor runs in the dark of the morning. All others have been on the treadmill in the comfort of the AC. The regulars in my neighborhood are still continuing on with their normal schedules – Saturdays starting at 7am. I wish I could handle the heat that way, but I just can’t.

While running, it takes just about 60 seconds for my body heat to rise. Swimming has made my breathing more manageable, but I still have to check myself every few miles. So, between breathing, high body temp, and extreme temps outside I would need to carry my water belt. And, in case I didn’t mention it before, I hate having anything around my waist if my run is more than 2 miles. And, every run is longer than 2 miles.

Enough of my griping…this post is supposed to be about my revised run schedule.

July
NONE

August
Sprint Triathlon

September
Labor of Love 10K
Autumn Equinox 15K

October
The Vineyard Run 5K
Triathlon (last of the season)
Halloween Hustle 5K (with Alyssa)

November
Turkey Trot 8 mile

December
Las Vegas R&R Half Marathon
Holiday Hustle 8K (New Year’s Eve Race)

That’s 9 races for the remainder of the year. I’m rather excited about that! I’m especially excited about the two Tris and the Half. I’m already getting started on finding some cycling only races for next year. I’ve got to conquer the beast that is biking.

What’s your activity list looking like for the rest of the year??

~ Ciao

It's Wednesday!

2011-07-13T11:24:00.000-05:00

I stepped on the scale this morning and I’m back to 176 – darn you liquid calories of the weekend. I’ve decided to shoot the scale and not step on it again until I’m comfortably in a size 10. Ok…maybe I’m lying. But, I don’t plan on stepping on it once a week anymore. Every other week will have to do.

I had the craziest desire yesterday to play basketball. Like I wanted to find a pick up game and play. Mind you, I’ve never been a basketball player…I’m not good…at all. I can dribble and shoot decently if under no pressure at all, but to be in a game…uh, no. Still, I want to play…it’s great exercise and fun despite me looking ridiculous.

I don’t think Alyssa misses me all that much. Either that or she’s having a blast. It can’t be the latter because we all know her best times are with me dangit. Anyway…I miss her a ton, but I’m enjoying our break this year. It makes me feel slightly weird. Yesterday I stopped by the grocery store after the gym and I smiled at my small grocery bill. I didn’t even use a cart…I carried a basket. I haven’t had babysitting fees either…what joy! Though, I have had major camp fees.

I met a guy over the weekend when I was tipsy. I remember certain things about our conversation, but then I don’t know if I’m mixing him up with other guys I met. Anyway…he called me the next day, but I was busy and never call back and he has been texting me ever since. I hate texting, by the way. Anyway, we had a phone conversation yesterday and it came out that he has a child. First, I’m not a fan…as unfair as it may be, in order for me to talk to a guy with a kid he has to be exceptional in every other way and then I’m still not 100% sure. So, not only does this guy have a child, he has a small child – 3 years old. The rest of the conversation wasn’t all that moving either, so it’s easy to put him on my Do Not Call list.

A separate conversation with someone last night made me remember a slight argument with someone I hang out with here. So, there is this girl, she’s 32, black, never married, no kids. She has decided that she won’t require marriage any longer in order to have a child. She just wants a kid and won’t let a lack of marriage get in her way – her words. And she wants to give birth to said child, not adopt. Anyway, me being who I am had to ask her if she was serious. Because knowing the type of person SHE is, I was shocked. She is semi black militant. Most things in her view are designed to hold “us” down, or it’s racist, or something regarding them vs. us. She also has very strong views against interracial dating and often talks about the breakdown of the black family and how black men have turned their backs on “us” blah, blah. So, knowing how she thinks, I just couldn’t believe she seriously wants to have an illegitimate child on purpose. I called to her attention that by making that conscious decision she was also contributing to the breakdown of the black family. A single parent home, no matter how hard the parent works nor how much love is present, is a broken family; it’s incomplete. Why would anyone, especially someone who is always talking about the state of the black community want to contribute to that? The whole selfish ‘I want a baby so much I’ll have one alone’ line of thinking actually infuriates me.

I think pretty everyone around me knows I’ve lost weight…the shock and awe of my transformation has run it’s course. So, when I encounter someone I haven’t seen since last year I’m always confused by their reactions to how I look. I forget that the last time they saw me I was 40 pounds heavier. And, then I get embarrassed all by their swooning, but at the same time I feel proud of myself all over again. Go Healthy Living!!

Happy Wednesday...what going on over there?

~ Ciao

Perspective on Patience

2011-07-12T10:25:00.001-05:00

I readily admit that I’m an impatient person by nature. I always have been. Even as a child when I wanted something I wanted it right then, and all of my attention was focused on that “thing” until it was mine. That was whether it was something that could be purchased or a goal I set for myself. That’s right, even Little Girl Aretha set goals.

Still to this day patience is a thing I say I’m working on, but in all honesty what have I done to really try to be more patient…I can’t think of anything. As a matter of fact, as of late I started thinking that patience is often misused and overrated for the situations people try to apply it to. And, consciously or subconsciously, I associate it with people just being lazy and not taking action or moving forward. In some cases I know that’s the case, in others I may be overreacting a bit.

But, I read something yesterday that has given me yet another perspective on patience. I guess the way I’ve been looking at patience is that in order to have it, it means there is something you are “holding” for. And holding to me means just the way Dictionary.com defines it, “to remain or continue in a specified state, relation, etc.” And I guess from that definition, along the way, I concluded that if one is remaining they aren’t moving forward; they aren’t enjoying life; they aren’t living. By all accounts, I know better than that, but for some reason, these are things I think of when people try to convince me about the wonder of patience.

Back to what I read yesterday…it has helped me to see that I’m looking at patience from an extremely negative, worldly view. Patience doesn’t have to mean that progression is being stifled it can mean that pieces are being moved in proper order for you before you make the next move and in essence progress.

Patience on it’s own is nothing…but patience in the presence of God is the key. That’s the patience that is virtuous; the kind of patience that isn’t used for an excuse to be lazy; that’s the kind of patience I need to actively strive for. Not this patience everyone tries to throw out like it means something when really it’s just a stalling tactic that makes them feel better about not progressing or making decisions.

Here is an excerpt from a daily devotional I bought this week that I feel has enlightened me:

One of the hardest places to be is in what someone has called “God’s waiting room.” From our finite, human perspective it may feel as if God is not working at all. It’s easy to become impatient or try to take matters into our own hands. But God Calls us to wait quietly for him to work. The psalmist says that he waits “before the Lord.” He is waiting in God’s presence, that is, staying close to God, where his hope lies. When we wait in God’s presence, we continue to pray, and we stay focused on the truth of God’s Word as a source of encouragement.

While I’m waiting in the presence of God, I need to be praying, I need to be faithful, I need to put actions with that faith, and I need to seek wisdom by seeking more and more of Him. That’s where the source of my patience lies. I’m going to try and get it!

Birthday, Fitness, and Fun

2011-07-11T09:56:00.002-05:00

Birthday….
I had a wonderful birthday weekend. I got Birthday wasted (that’s when you get drunk on your born day, lol). I also ate terrible foods and I’ve only worked out once since last Thursday. Well, I played dodgeball for like 2 hours on Saturday, so I’m counting that as a workout because I was sweating. And, while I’m counting stuff…let me count the 2.5 straight hours I was on the dance floor shaking my butt…that has to count as a workout too. So, now I don’t feel so bad…I’ve worked out 3 times since Thursday.

I also went to the spa and it was delightful. I had an all around fabulous weekend. A few things happened here and there that I want to go into detail about…but later.

Training…
I’ve been training for my August Triathlon, but still not training on the bike like I should. I haven’t purchased the new bike that I want, which makes me want to kick myself. The event is in 1 month and I’ve been training on a bike that I don’t plan to use. I also haven’t trained on any swim to bike transitions. It’s as if all the lessons I learned from that first race are a joke. I don’t know why I’m not taking it seriously. I just keep doing each sport individually instead of truly training the way I should.

I have a month to get it together. So, I’m going to start by going to buy the bike and then taking it with me to swim practice for transitional training.

Running….
I twisted my ankle on Friday night, but it wasn’t anything serious. I am sore, though. So, I’ve decided to not run this week and instead do the cross ramp.

I ran last week and I feel like my pace was crazy slow. That lets me know that I must focus on speed training next week. I'm thinking about doing a half marathon here in October since I'm not going to VA beach and I don't want to have to wait until December before I do my next one. But, I also have a tri on the schedule for October...I have to figure it all out.

Strength….
I’m also on a mission to do 5 pull ups. I have NEVER been able to do a pull up. My upper body strength is the worst. But, like I said, I’m on a mission to do those pull ups and in the process get my arms and chest right!

Face….
My face looks huge in the morning. I had thought that before, but I really noticed it this weekend. I think it starts off really puffy and fat first thing in the morning and it goes down to its normal size by 9 or 10am. What’s up with that…weird!

Dance…..
Swing out lessons start next week. Excited! You may call it stepping, hand dancing, or something else. Here they call it swing out. I have to go buy some modest height heels to start. They aren’t going to be able to tell me anything once I get my moves down!!

I wobbled it several times this weekend…lol...I feel like a wobble pro.

I met another black girl that likes Ke$ha as much as I do. We danced it up to some Ke$ha yesterday at a patio party…whoop whoop!

That’s it…How are you???

~ Ciao

Thursday Things

2011-07-07T15:22:00.000-05:00

1. Sometimes I read things on people’s blogs that make me scratch my head in confusion. During those times I really want to comment and ask questions about their thought process. And, a huge part of me also wants to tell them that it just doesn’t make good sense what they are saying or doing. Just like in the real world, everyone in blog world is different. It just really trips me out when readers always agree with the blogger. I know that many times those who disagree don’t comment because of fear someone will lash out with childish behavior like cursing them out or acting like they are wrong for commenting on something that they made public for the entire world to read. I just don’t get how large groups of people cosign on recklessness. I’ve said it here before, and I’ll say it again, I welcome different opinions and viewpoints. I won’t always agree with you, always agreeing isn’t necessary for me to feel confident in my approach to life. In fact, a different opinion may actually help me consider something I would have otherwise overlooked.

2. After talking to a coworker today about her AC compressor (a $2,500 problem) going out, I remember that my home warranty had expired. Guess who promptly got on the phone and renewed it?? ME! And, guess who got a lower deductible (service call fee)??? ME! Guess who is happy to have learned from another’s experience?? ME!

3. For the past two days I’ve been wearing my hair in a pulled-back simple pony tail and it looks great. I usually reserve pony tails for lazy days, but I intentionally set out to wear one today after yesterday’s looked so good.

4. It can be very annoying to work with people who constantly question and second guess you because of your age; the length of time you lived in a state; or your differing opinion on critical issues. Not only trying, but it pisses me off. I’ve had two different people come talk to me about the same issue in slightly condescending tones over the past two days. I really don’t like playing into stereotypes of the angry, neck rolling, finger snapping, black woman, but I came real close today….real close.

5. Today is my Friday and I’m so excited. I’m heading to the spa tomorrow and then for a weekend of rock star partying!! Whoop Whoop!

What’s up with you??

~ Ciao

10 Reasons I Miss Alyssa

2011-07-06T14:44:00.001-05:00

10. There is no one around calling me Mommy every few minutes.

9. I have to walk back upstairs every time I forget to bring something down with me.

8. I actually have to go pay someone to paint a new color onto my toes. I can’t paint my toes myself – it never looks right, but Alyssa, on the other hand, does a grand job in between my pedicures. Now I have to pay for a dang polish change…booo.

7. There is no one trying to force me to watch ridiculous yo.utube videos for hours upon hours. She finds the most silly things on that website...I'm never not amused. (I secretly love doing this with her, but shhh don't tell her)

6. I have no reason to walk to her side of the house…and when I do, I hate that she’s not there.

5. I don’t get good morning hugs and kisses.

4. I don’t get good night hugs and kisses.

3. There can not be a two person soul train line without a second person…my second person should always be here.

2. I have to cook and eat breakfast alone. It’s our thing…she chops the veggies and I scramble it all together with the eggs, then she tops it off with feta cheese. Now…I’m the sole member of the breakfast club.

1. She isn’t here to wash the dang dishes. And, I hate the thought of my dishes being "cleaned" in the actual dishwasher. I can only think of a few other things that I hate doing more than washing dishes...I need Alyssa.

As you can see, I need my baby. Life isn’t quite right when she’s not around.

The other day I tagged her in my FB status telling her how much I missed her and I got sad when she never commented on it. Then an hour later she called to ask why I tagged her in my status, yet she has no access to see anything on my FB page nor leave a comment. LOL…I forgot that my privacy setting restricts her. This is why she should have just been here…then I wouldn’t have to whine and moan to the innanets about how much I miss her.

Ok…this is it on Alyssa for today…

~ Ciao

Quickly

2011-07-06T09:24:00.002-05:00

Over the years my parenting style has evolved. Kids go through different stages depending on age, maturity, grade level, exposure, etc. With that I have evolved so I can maintain a proactive parenting style and not end up putting out fires or reacting to everything as if I didn’t see it coming.

Alyssa is growing up to be a wonderful child. I get a huge kick out of standing back and watching her interact with her friends. Her personality and comfort level with who she is amazes me. I’d describe her as a smart, confident, mature, and well spoken young lady who, when given the chance, will always choose to put her fun silly side first to make things more light. I love that about her. She’s corny and unapologetic about it.

I can tell that she has her awkward moments around people she doesn’t know or barely know. After doing her assessment of them, she will open up and be her natural self. She laughs a lot; she’s sarcastic, witty, and just fun. She’s just a kid.

She also reminds me of myself…not when I was her age, but how my personality really developed as I started getting older. Like me, she likes what she likes and she has an opinion about what she doesn’t.

While I think she’s mature, she’s still like a little girl in many ways. I love that about her. We can have intelligent conversations about what’s going on in the world, how it makes her feel, etc; and then two sentences later she wants to do something uber childish, but fun. It let’s me know that she is truly a child living the life of a child.

That brings me so much comfort.

As she continues to get older, we’ll be faced with some uncomfortable issues, and not so pleasant situations, I’m sure. But, I’m not very worried. I talk to her openly and right now, by all accounts, I believe she is doing the same. I’m firm in my expectations and when they aren’t met, there are consistent consequences. Sure, she still tries me from time to time…she wouldn’t be a child if she didn’t. But, I make sure that she feels the consequences every time and understands disobedience NEVER goes unpunished. I also make sure she knows I have some crazy in me and that she’ll never completely know what I’m willing to do to teach her a lesson.

We’ve reached an age now where friends are really a huge influence. Alyssa shares a ton about her friends and I pick up on things first hand when they are over at the house or we’re out at the mall or somewhere else. There is one friend that I just know is bad news. Not like she’s going to end up with a police record or anything, but her attitude is questionable. Anyway…Alyssa will tell me about situations involving this particular friend and I’ll tell her what the outcome is going to be and sure enough every time she has come back and said, Mommy you were right…how did you know that.

I’m not opposed to disallowing Alyssa to associate with people I approve of. I know she can sneak and talk to people at school, but I also know things don’t remain hidden long, and that consequences thing I talked about earlier…yeah, I’m real consistent.

Anyway…I never told her that she wasn’t allowed to talk to that girl. I did tell her that from everything I’ve seen myself and the things she’s told me, I know the girl is not the type of person that she should be around (but I wanted Alyssa to come to that conclusion through her own assessments). I did, however, discuss being guilty by association, how being exposed to things long enough start to make you sometimes think it’s acceptable, and the importance of analyzing what has already happened to gain insight into what’s to come. Months passed and she continued to be friends with the girl. And, every week I was getting some story about ridiculous middle school stuff. Until finally, Alyssa, all on her own, realized that she was complaining about the same or similar stuff with this girl over and over. Because Alyssa doesn’t believe in ending friendships (that’s another story, lol), she distanced herself from the girl and now only talks to her in passing.

I trust that I’m raising her with a good foundation and the ability to choose right over wrong even when no one is looking. Sometimes knowing that doesn’t take away all the worries of the unknown, especially when every parent of an older child tries to tell me that my worst parenting years are ahead of me. By the way, that kind of talk really annoys me. At any rate, my worries about her getting older have nothing to do with how I think she’ll behave, and instead more to do with her simply getting older and not being that little 6 year old girl anymore.

In 3 years we’ll be picking out her very own car; in 5 years we’ll be decorating her dorm room, and then she’ll be telling me about her first college boyfriend….

Kids grow so quickly…it’s said a lot, but it’s one of the truest things ever spoken.

~ Ciao

Mommy-Daughter Vacays

2011-07-06T08:32:00.000-05:00

I’m establishing Mommy/Daughter vacations for Alyssa and me. We’re going to start next year. We always take little trips here and there, but never anything I’d consider a big trip, but fun and experienced fill nonetheless. Well, now that she’s a teenager, I’m more than excited to start planning big trips with her! It’s time for her to get a passport and some stamps!

A couple of years ago she mentioned that she wanted to go to Hawaii, but she hasn’t mentioned it sense, and after looking at Hawaii prices, I’d rather spend that money to take an international trip.

She’s also mentioned Costa Rica and London. I’ve told her to think of 4 places she’s interested in and we’ll begin research and planning. I’m going to bring her in on the planning of this; including setting a budget, price comparisons, determining time, and planning our adventures.

I’m hoping over time she can do more and more of the planning. It has double benefits – she is planning the things she wants to do on vacation, while also learning how to manage and compile various information from beginning to end (a project). There is a teaching moment in everything, lol.

I’m so excited to take Alyssa from being a tourist to becoming a traveler! Our First adventure will be March 2012!! Yay!

I’m still heavily considering NYC for New Year ’s Eve. She really wants to do the Time’s Square thing. My concern is the cost for that short period of time. I was thinking we could fly to DC…stay there with friends and then head to NY for one day; catch whatever Broadway show she wants to see and then enjoy the concerts and crowds as the ball prepares to drop. Hmmm…

~ Ciao

Hyper

2011-07-01T09:32:00.002-05:00

I woke up with all the energy in the world this morning. I was super hyper and tons of thoughts were immediately running through my head. Everything from work to personal items. Here are a few things…

1. I want an all over weave for my vacation. I don’t know if all-over is the right terminology, but I want all of my hair braided down and I want weave sewn in. Then I want it cut in a short style. I’ve never had short straight hair, so this should be fun.

2. I’m going to replace all the red/brown mulch in my flower beds with black mulch. I saw some at the nursery yesterday when I went to look for trees. I think it would look simply fabulous, especially with some really colorful flowers.

3. I bought a white crape myrtle yesterday. My kissing friend is going to pick it up for me today…I can’t wait until it’s planted!

4. I’m not going to Virgnia Beach for the Rock N Roll half anymore. Instead I’m doing a local race that month or October and then heading to Vegas in December for that R & R half! Woohoo!

5. I miss Alyssa a bunch, but I’m actually not super ready for her return. When she does return, I want to throw her a surprise welcome back party. I’m going to call her friends’ parents and get that ball rolling. She will be thrilled!

6. I’m officially starting p90x next week. My brain is still wrapping itself around that notion, lol. I attempted the program months ago and I didn’t feel quite ready. Now I am!

7. So, in addition to the August Tri, I’ve also found one in October that I’ll be doing. It’s one of the last one’s of the season and it’s open water. This means I’m going to have to rent a wetsuit. This also means I need to find a way to train in open water. And, lastly, this means I’m now nervous, lol.

8. Alyssa has a visa check card now. She doesn’t know it yet. Her allowance is increasing to $70 a month and will now be directly deposited to her account. I’m going to make her create a budget and savings goal. I can’t wait to see what she comes up with. I will likely need to provide some “responsible guidance”, after all she is a 13 year old and the concept of not spending all of her money is silly to her at this point.

9. I need to find a superb rib rub/paste/sauce recipe. Any ideas?

10. I'm no longer a Drake fan. He is not the same dude who was killin' em on the mix tapes. Ugh...garbage. Speaking of rap...what's up with everyone using the stupid technique of saying a line and then likening it to a person, place, thing, etc. Example: I saw her and I said what's happening - Shirley. Example 2: My visit was wasn't long it enough, if was short - kevin hart. I've heard others but i can't think of them. And, by the way the examples I gave aren't exact, but close enough.

~ Ciao

Don't Call It A Comeback

2011-06-30T09:18:00.004-05:00

I’m not really sure why I haven’t blogged in 14 days. This may be the longest I’ve ever been away. I’ve been a writing machine, but only in my personal journal. I’m not sure why I just did not get around to translating anything onto the screen.

Things are great on my end. My new promotion is keeping me busy and challenged. I’m realizing more and more what I already knew about my profession - The more you progress, the less you personally produce a work product. It’s much more about the facilitation of others’ production. Sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes I just feel like a coach – coming up with various plays to make sure my team wins the game. Actually the coaching is fun…as a matter of fact, I have no complaints! Well…I hate personnel issues, but I always have.
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I’m having a BBQ on Sunday! Last week I floated the idea out there and BAM…it’s going down. I love BBQs, gatherings, etc. Meaningful connections with people are so important to me. I don’t understand how people live their lives in solitude or don’t have real friendships. I understand things happen, people lose trust in both sexes, but not to be able to attempt new friendships, relationships, and connections is something I just don’t understand. Back to my BBQ…I have a grill, but I’ve never used it…this is going to be interesting trying to figure it out…I figure it should be similar to cooking on a gas stove…but even that’s something I haven’t done in several years, lol.
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One of blog world’s fave commenters, Ginae, came to visit me last weekend. We had fun hanging out at the Hous.e of Blue.s, shopping, and just talking. Now I’m ready to go to her neck of the woods and party like they do down in Austin. Or she needs to come back and stay longer. I like both options!
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My annual GFtrip is coming up at the end of July. I’m not as excited as I once was. For starters, one of the homegirls is not going this year. I’m currently referring to her as “Big Fat Ass Loser,” and I will continue to do that until the next time I get to see her. For the record, only I can call her that…not you. Secondly, there was a huge gray area regarding additional people being indirectly affiliated with the trip. I got clarification and I’m content with the answers I got, but in the midst of all that, attitudes toward other women just annoyed the hell out of me. Speaking of that…

I will never understand how women can’t get along with other women or think that relationships with men are more worthy, impressive, (choose your own adjective), etc. I get that women are complicated…hell, so are men, which is why many women haven’t met the right one yet, or bounce from man to man trying to get to the one who isn’t complicated. People are complicated…period. I also understand that people have to be compatible to travel together…there are moments when my homegirls and I get on each others nerves and we’ve known each other for literally more than half our lives. So, adding new people to our travel mix isn’t an option. Well…apparently for some of them it’s just the addition of women that’s a no go. Adding men would be fine because I guess they are better, less complicated, more worthy creatures. Give me an F-ing break. Let the record reflect, I am no man hater, I think men are awesome (it’s hilarious that I felt the need to type that, lol). I’m also not a people hater, period. When I think of my GFtrip, it’s about me taking time out to spend with my GFs...not to have some dude(s) on the periphery. At any rate…all is well and there will be no additional people.
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Ok…last tidbit about this year’s trip. We are skydiving together! Can you say 13,000 feet, baby!?!?!?! Now thinking of that brings back my excitement! And we’re going to Niagara Falls…Woohooo!
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Have you heard the new Beyo.nce album?? I love her. Simply adore her talent. The biggest thing about her is that she isn’t the most talented singer or dancer, but she works hard as hell which makes you forget that there are more talented people out there. She is proof that hard work is the key to success. Anyway, the album is great! I’m biased. I love how many ballads there are. I’m currently loving I miss you and Start Over. I like 1+1 of course, but I’ve heard it so much before the album was released that I’m fixated on other songs now. Go Bey!
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I ran outside in the dark this morning! I'm so going to do that at least twice a week now. It was spectacular. The nasty Texas hotness wasn't too overwhelming at that hour, and it just felt therapeutic. The silence of the morning was conducive for deep thought.
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I want to give a big Shout out to Jameil and Rashan - the cutest blog world couple on the planet. Just in case you’ve been hiding under a rock, they’re getting married tomorrow! Congratulations and Love going your way!
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Ok…that’s all I have…What’s going on your way?

~ Ciao

Thursday 13 - On My Mind

2011-06-16T12:50:00.001-05:00

1. A part of me wants to dismiss Weiner Gate as a situation of harmless, yet poor judgment that really should just go away. The other part of me that loves and respects politics and government thinks he should bow out gracefully (if there is any grace left) and try with the people during the next election. What I really don’t like it when people, people I actually like, say he shouldn’t be asked to resign if other politicians with similar transgressions haven’t been asked to. I always think it’s irresponsible, and frankly childish, to compare one person’s wrong to another and determine punishment off what someone else got away with or didn’t. That’s a position children take, not better knowing adults. There has to be a line drawn on what is acceptable and not. Every person deserves to have a line of demarcation between their personal and professional lives, but it’s just not the reality for politicians. They are a representative of the people and the government’s policies 24 hours a day. I’m not sure if resignation is the answer, but I don’t think it shouldn’t be mentioned. It appears that he will succumb to the pressure and resign.

2. Christie Helicopter Gate is another issue that I find ridiculous. For those of you who live under a rock and don’t know. A couple of weeks ago NJ Governor Chris Chri.stie decided to use the state’s helicopter to get to his child’s game. Immediately people came out criticizing his use of a piece of state funded equipment to go to a personal event. Since then, the Governor has repaid the state for the cost of the trip. I find that absolutely outrageous. People can’t have it both ways. They want personal lives to be open to the public, but he can’t use the State’s helicopter to leave State business in order to get to his child’s game on time? This man is the leader of that State every waking moment of the day. Doesn’t matter if he’s on the toilet, at his son’s baseball game, or in a meeting with his chief of staff. I don’t condone the misuse of public tax funds…anyone who knows me knows I don’t. But, this was an appropriate use of state funded equipment, in my opinion. And, I wouldn’t have repaid a thing. People take things too far.

3. I’ve been “natural” since 2003 or maybe 2004. I think I started transitioning in 03 and then all of the relaxed parts had been slowed cut away by 2004. Anyway…after a couple years of being natural I determined that I didn’t want to deal with hair that took me 30 minutes to comb through. I also missed wearing my hair straight and every time I had tried to straighten it since being natural it would laugh at me. The closest it got to straight was a woolly wavy look. So…I went and talked to a hair stylist who did both natural and relaxed hair. She suggested I try a “mini relaxer” that would loosen my ultra tight curls. That way I would have the versatility of both straight and curly hair and more manageable hair (I should probably say convenient because that’s what I was after). So since that time I would put a mini relaxer in my hair about once every 1.5 years. But then I stopped and decided to cut a great deal of my hair and start over. Three years ago I decided again that I wanted the mini relaxer again because I was missing the versatility again. Then I decided never to do the relaxer again. But, now I want another mini relaxer…so I’ve said all this to say, I’m going back to my mini relaxer regime of every 1.5 years. Yay!

4. I’ve been thinking about doing a full marathon (26.2 miles) next year…maybe October time frame. I’m really trying completely think through what that means to me as far as a time commitment is concerned. Not only would I be in training mode, but there are still other interests I have that also provide me with fitness and activity; for example I plan on conquering cycling, and swimming is a part of my routine now. I definitely plan to increase my participation in triathlons. All of that on top of marathon training seems to be a lot at first glance. I’m going to work up some plans and see if that’s something I should shoot for next year or in 2013. Either way…I have my sights on a full marathon.

5. I joined a kickball league this week. I’m so excited to start practicing and playing games with them. I was on our city team last year, but they weren’t in it to win it…lol. This new league is actually the same organization that was in DC. The way it works is that local bars sponsor teams and we get to go there afterwards and drink for free or low cost. Now, doesn’t that sound fun!

6. Did any of you watch the first GOP presidential debate? It was a freaking joke. The even bigger joke is the way the pundits and the media are actually acting like Bachm.ann looked like a decent candidate. At first I thought it was a drawn out practical joke they were playing on the viewers, but now I’m starting to realize some of them actually believe she has a chance.

7. I drink half of my body weight in ounces of water per day. I had still been drinking that amount of water based off a weight of 186. That let’s you know how long ago I recalculated. More water never hurt, though. How much water do you drink?

8. I’ve still been kissing on the guy I like kissing. I know he’s not Mr. Aretha, but I can’t bring myself to stop kissing him just yet. Usually when I realize that someone isn’t going to fit into my future I cut it off, but he’s so darn nice and cute and such a good kisser that I’m moving slow on pulling the trigger.

9. Alyssa has been gone for nearly two weeks now. I miss her so much, but I’m enjoying our time apart. I think it’s great that she gets to spend some time with my mother during the summer. I think the grandmother/granddaughter relationship is so important.

10. I remember the first time I got an assistant(s) at work. I didn’t really know how to utilize them, or I always felt wrong for delegating tasks. Now, I have no problem passing on the little things. In fact one of them is so good that I’m giving her even more challenging things. Soon, I’m sure they’ll start telling me to leave them alone.

11. I found a new bike that I want. It’s even under $200, but I don’t feel like spending the money on it right now. Alyssa’s summer activities are no joke, my GirlFriend trip is fast approaching, and I still have to Fall races to register for. I need a dang money tree in my backyard.

12. Speaking of money…with my promotion comes more money of course. It’s time to do a new budget. Most of this will just be directed to savings, but I think I’m going to increase my monthly allowance as well.

13. Go Mavs! I’ve been rooting for them all season and especially through the playoffs. I’m so glad they won.

What's on your mind this wonderful Thursday?!?!?

Weight Loss Wednesday - Volumes 39 - 45

2011-06-15T11:12:00.002-05:00

I haven’t done a Wednesday Weightloss in a while. My weightloss is volatile in my opinion. I’ve gone from stepping on the scale every morning to stepping on it once every couple of weeks. The fact that I keep fluctuating between the same 4 pounds would really be a bummer if I weren’t still riding high off my progress to date. Right now I’m weighing in at 172…so close, but so far away. I may just throw myself a dang party when I finally get into the 160s.

Everything is pretty much on auto pilot. My eating is fine…my processed food free lifestyle is a way of life now. Although, for about a two week period I was eating white bread like a maniac…in the form of biscuits, sandwiches, and rolls. I had some work lunches that didn’t have very many positive choices and I was hungry. Pitiful excuse, I know.

I also had some cake and a few cookies during those same two weeks. I could feel a dramatic difference in my body, especially in my abdomen. I feel bloated when I eat processed foods, which just makes me feel like a cow.

My exercise routine changes weekly depending on what I have going on as far as upcoming races, etc. I haven’t swam or biked since my triathlon. I’m going to incorporate them both back into my routine next week.

I am also gearing up to begin training for my September half marathon. It’s another race I get to do with the homegirls…yay!

My trainer and I are focused on weight lifting now, because although I’ve lost a bunch of weight, I don’t just want to be a smaller version of myself…I want to be a re-sculpted version of myself.

Before I go…here are the current stats:

Starting Weight: 218.5lbs
Current Weight: 172 lbs
Total Loss: -46.5 lbs

1st phase Goal Weight: 165

Ok...just a few more thoughts before I wrap up:

I almost can't believe I've been at this for 45 weeks

In seven weeks It will be a full year since I've taken control of my health and fitness.

I hope I don't make it look easy because it's been challenging the entire way, but it's also been worth it every step of the way.

I've changed the way I think, but that doesn't mean I don't have to check myself very often.

I still indulge in foods that aren't healthy but it's a rare occassion...truly a treat. In my opinion if you're eating every day, every other day, or every week, it's no longer a treat...it's your habit. I don't ever want to go back to back habits.

Exercise is meant to be hard work. Plenty of people will tell you to find easy things to do, but remember you get out what you put in. Sweat and a little pain has never hurt anyone...actually it strengthens!

It's ok to weigh yourself as often as you want. Many will disagree, but I say as long as you keep in mind that the scale is but one of several indicators of your overall health, then you'll be just fine getting on that bad boy everyday.

Listen to your body. Pay attention to how you feel after eating certain foods. Our bodies scream at us...we just have to listen. Sometimes mine screams "Thank you, Girl...that spinach salad has given me the extra boost I needed," and sometimes it screams "We don't like the way chocolate chip cookies make us feel...stop it."

I hope you all are staying committed to your health and fitness no matter what your goals are.

~ Ciao

Good Career News

2011-06-14T17:32:00.000-05:00

Several things have been happening on the career front for me over the past several months. And, today my promotion took effect. My career is moving along just as I want it to, and I’m very happy about it.

I’ve been injecting myself into challenges and problem areas and seeking out others. With this new role, I now have several different problem areas to manage. I’m excited and anxious to get everything going. I just hope my new group of people are ready to hit the ground running as well.

It’s no secret that I’m very ambitious and somewhat impatient (or very impatient…depends on how you look at it). I’m especially this way when it comes to my career. I think maybe it has a lot to do with the high level of confidence I have in my abilities to tackle any challenge local government administration throws my way. When I was in my final year of college I mapped out how I wanted my career to progress. And, then in graduate school I tweaked a few things, but still I walked away with my MPA knowing what and how I wanted to make it all happen. Over time I’ve made some adjustments, and I imagine my plan will always be a dynamic process because I never know how new experiences will shape my desires. And, I always want to be deliberate about staying open to new directions.

Anyway, a colleague recently asked me when and how I determined I wanted to work in my profession. After I told him he asked how long I had been doing it. When I thought about it, I was actually shocked. I graduated from college at 25. A part of me still feels like I’m behind because I took the scenic route, but another part of me still does a fist pump when I think about how I got it done with no excuses. I graduated from graduate school when I was 27. I started working in this profession as a paid intern (a position created because I reached out on my own and expressed my desire to learn as much as I could about local government management) when I was 24. I kept that job through graduation and got promoted after graduation until I moved to DC for graduate school. During my time in that first City, I was able to soak up a great deal of knowledge and I was able to show them what I had to offer. I sometimes still can’t believe the things they allowed me to do as a newbie in the field. And, I was fortunate enough to get another great position when I moved to DC (again due to reaching out and expressing interest; not because there was a vacancy advertised). For two years I learned more about local politics and administration than I ever have. Mostly, I learned what not to do, but it was valuable knowledge nonetheless.

So, I’ve been working in my profession for under 7 years, and I’m now one step away from where I ultimately want to be when I decide to make that move. Sometimes I can’t believe how fast time goes by. People told me my career plan was ambitious, it was and still is, but a little ambition has never hurt anyone!

Other Career thoughts:

• Make a plan. Write it down, no matter how farfetched it looks.
• Work the plan.
• Allow the plan to change as needed.
• Get a mentor or 3 or 4. And, actually keep in touch with them. Call for advice or simply to bounce ideas around.
• Create a network of colleagues in your similar position. People at other companies; cities; departments, etc that share your roles can be huge resources.
• Don’t be a martyr to your work. Don’t drive yourself into the ground because you think it’s going to make you look good…it won’t. Balance your life with your work.
• Do personal work assessments once a quarter. It will help you stay on your toes because you’ll be more honest with yourself than anyone else who does a review of you.
• Love your career or find a new one.

~ Ciao

Champion Status - My First Tri in Review

2011-06-13T11:52:00.000-05:00

I finished my first Triathlon this weekend in 1 hour 52 minutes and 24 seconds! My goal was to finish, but you know me…I also had a goal time in my head of 1 hour and 45 minutes. I’m not the least bit sad about not hitting it.

I’ll just start from the beginning….

I wasn’t nervous at all leading up to the race, in fact I was probably a little over confident when it came to swimming and running. I was very concerned about the bike. During training I had realized that biking was my weakest and least favorite of the three activities, but still I have some level of affection for it.

The race was an hour away from where I live and I had never been to that City so my plan was to get up at 4am and head out by 4:30am. The night before I had my bag packed and ready to go: helmet; goggles, swim cap, sneakers, socks, towel, sunscreen, hat, water, and gu. I had my ironman swimsuit out and ready to roll for the morning. I kept dreaming that I arrived at the location late and they wouldn’t let me race. So, finally around 3:30am I just decided to get up and get ready.

I got there on time, way before time and it was great because it wasn’t very crowded and I had time to get checked in, have my body marked (they mark your arms with marker in your race number and the back of you calve with your end of year age), set up my things in the transition area, and mix and mingle with other racers.

I met some really cool and supportive people who are excited about the sport of triathlon racing. It was the first time for many, but I met a few veterans as well.

Swimming:

When signing up for the race we had to estimate our swim time and based on that information we were put in an order from fastest to slowest. When I got my number I was a little worried that I had overestimated my time because I saw some very lean, athletic looking men and women who were way behind me. I know better than to judge a book by its cover, and I definitely know better than to doubt myself. Anyway…I ended up finishing the swim in a breeze…I think my official swim time was around 6 minutes and 3 seconds. I killed it!

Transition 1: Swim to Bike

In talking to people and all of my internet research on Tri’s no one had ever stressed swim to bike transition to me. In fact they all told me to make sure I train hard on the bike to run transition because it would be extremely tough. I listened, and I trained accordingly. I, however, never did a swim to bike transition during my training. I just figured the fact that my swim is so strong and no one said it was a big deal, that I’d be fine. WRONG! Repeat…WRONG! That first transition was the hardest. When I got out of the water I wasn’t 100% sure I was even standing up. I’ve heard of legs feeling like jello, but I finally experienced it. I couldn’t feel my legs…I imagined myself walking like gumby. I tried to trot from the swim area to transition because I didn’t want to have a large transition time, but I had to slow down and walk because I thought I was going to fall.

When I finally got to the transition, it took 3 attempts to get my leg through the opening of my shorts…that’s how jello my legs were.

Lesson: Train like a beast on transition 1! I will never repeat this rookie mistake again.

Biking:

After losing 2 minutes on that transition I was finally on the bike and on my way. Unfortunately, I still couldn’t feel my legs very much. I would say for the first 2 to 3 miles I don’t know how I was peddling…everything below my torso just felt weird. Finally as my legs returned, I approached a hill. Hills plus biking equals sad faced me. I made it up and my thighs were screaming for mercy. In all the racing information about the course, it mentioned that there was one challenging hill, so after climbing it at mile 3.5 I was happy to have gotten it over with so quickly. Those LIARS! There were 6 hills. Six very mountainous hills at that. Around Mile 7 I looked up ahead and saw what I’m sure was a mini Mt. Everest. I told myself right then that I wasn’t even going to fake it…as soon as I got to the base of that thing I got off my bike and walked it up the hill. Well, then I talked myself into going for it, but as I was trying to go up I just felt like I was rolling backwards, so finally I just got off and walked my bike to the top.

Hands down the biking portion is what killed my time, along with the first transition. I’m going to train with much more resistance on my biking this time around. And, I’m going to do more outside hill work.

Transition 2: Bike to Run

This was breeze…My legs were hurting, but nothing I couldn’t power through. I jumped off the bike ran back into the transition area and had my helmet off, hat on, and garmin watch fastened within 35 seconds.

Running:

I started out strong coming out of the transition area. I felt good and I was just focused on finishing strong. When I got to mile 2 I an extra dose of fatigue set it, but I powered through it and finished strong across the finish line where a few of the people I were chatting with at the beginning of the race were cheering me on and calling my name. It was a welcome reception across the line given that I had no personal friends or family there. After they put the medal around my neck, the guy asked me how I felt. First thing I said was, “That was harder than my half marathon.”
Final thoughts:

That race was really one of the hardest things I’ve ever done physically. When I first got it in my head to do a tri, I simply thought, oh I like swimming, biking is cool, and I love to run…so I can do this. Well, I didn’t think about all three of those things in succession and how that impacts the body. It was a challenge like no other. However, as hard as it was, I’m all in. I liked it and I want more!!

I’ve decided to do another one in August, but before then I’m going to have to get a better bike. I went the cheap route and got a vintage from cra.ig’s list, but I need something more powerful. I’m going to train like a monster on the bike…it’s my weakest area right now, but I will conquer it.

I’m going to take another master swim class in July just to work on some technique stuff and speed. I want to swim fast like the fish, lol.

I’ll continue my running as normal…actually I’m going to start training for my September Half Marathon soon, so the overlap will be great.

Yesterday I was watching the World Championship Ironm.an 70.3 (that’s a half iro.nman distance) and I was so moved and inspired. I’m in love with physical activity. It’s adventurous, it’s fun, it’s beneficial to the heart, mind, and body; it’s simply great! And, most of all, everytime I do something that I once never even imagined I could do, I feel like a champion. I’m on Champion status right now and I love it!

~ Ciao

Live

2011-06-10T07:48:00.002-05:00

Over the past 10 months I've been in control of my life. I'm not ruled by food, irrational emotions, or negative desires. By me saying I am in control, don't be confused with me trying to take anything away from God or pretending like He isn't the direct source of who I am and continue to become.

Everything that's going on in my life is a result of commitment, dedication, hard work, and prayer. I love every bit of it, especially when it gets difficult because when it feels hard, I know I'm really working on who I want to be. Sometimes you have to feel the burn to know that you're actually living and not just existing.

This journey I'm on is lifelong. I'm in it for good. I plan on continuing to control my health where I can; I plan to continue practicing healthy and positive habits, be it health and fitness, relationships, parenting, and career.

There are some people in my life right now that are dealing with their own private struggles. Often, I take on the emotions of those I care about because to see them stuck and hurt hurts me too. Then I get tired of being hurt and I want to find a solution to get back to peace, but just because I'm ready doesn't mean they are, so that leads to frustration. I start to wonder why they can't see what I see; why they can't do what needs to be done to get back to peace and away from hurt and struggle. My ability to empathize needs work.

I consciously know that all people are different; we process differently; our approaches and tolerance levels vary. However, I still get upset when I feel like people wallow in bad situations. And, talk a good talk, but never add action to the mix.

Here's the thing. I was a prisoner of laziness and excuses for most of my life when it came to health and fitness. The poor health and obesity statistics that ring true for this country proves that such a stronghold is a power thing. Now the people in my life who are going through their struggles aren't related to this, but they are strongholds no less. What I want them to understand is that taking control of your life is taking control of your life. Doesn't matter if that means valuing yourself, honoring your body, being a better parent, a better servant, whatever. It comes down to taking control. Being a leader in your life. Shoot, just being an active participant in your life. People have to stop simply existing and actually live!

That is all.

~ Ciao

June 2011 Goals

2011-06-02T10:01:00.001-05:00

I haven’t posted my goals here in a few months. I’ve still been writing them down, just never got around to putting them on the blog.

June is such a cool month because it’s the middle of the year, and typically when some start reflecting on their yearly goals and such. My year of fitness and adventure has been going great so far. There are some things I’ve done that I didn’t plan for and some that I planned, but not yet gotten to. There is still another 6 months left and I plan to continue enjoying adventure after adventure through fitness and fun.

For the month of June, here are some of my goals:

1. Go to Church every Sunday I’m home; Get back involved.
2. Organize the garage. This includes figuring out how to open the other side of my garage that doesn’t have an automatic opener. I’ve tried the key and everything…I can’t figure it out. This also includes getting some shelving out there.
3. Find a new dermatologist.
4. Discover 3 new running trails
5. Swim 2 days a week.
6. Work on Career Plan timeline – some recent changes have occurred and I want to factor them into my plans.

So, what are your big/small/medium goals for the month of June??

~ Ciao

Nothing Really

2011-05-31T13:16:00.003-05:00

There is a lot of change in the air. Some expected, while some not so expected. It's never really change that bothers me, it's being suprised with it. I like to plan change...know it's coming...brace for the impact. Some things are beyond our control, though, so it's not always possible.

I think some good change is on the horizon. All signs point in that direction, but I'm not going to get ahead of myself.
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A pet peeve of mine is people who don't keep an accurate calendar. During the times I schedule my own appointments, it really frustrates me when I've set something up with someone based off their calendar showing availability only for them to email me saying they are busy and forget to update their schedule.

I don't even understand how people stay straight and get to the places they need to be without having an accurate calendar.
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The toilets at work hate me. I tried to use the bathroom 4 times today and the thing kept flushing before I could even squat properly and begin my business. I finally went upstairs and used the manual toilets. Technology doesn't always make things more convenient.
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I need to swim at least 4 days this week. My triathlon is soooo close. I want to breeze through the swim and the run because I have a feeling the biking is going to be brutal. The course description only shows one hill, but I'm still worried. Cycling is my least favorite of the 3 activities.
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I made the most fabulous collard greens last night. I just cut up an onion and jalopeno pepper and some balsamic vinegar. I've never tried that combo, but I am very pleased. Alyssa loved them, too...yay!
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I have so many posts in my head. Maybe I'll actually write them down this week.

~ Ciao

Monday Randoms

2011-05-23T17:23:00.000-05:00

1. Have I mentioned that I’m a huge fan of my new CM. It was a long 9 months without one, and I’m happy that there is a new sense of normalcy around the office. Not that things were bad, but when there isn’t real leadership at the top, things can go awry very quickly. We were lucky to have dodged so many land mines.

2. I’m thinking about a last minute trip to Santa Fe, NM; Guadalupe State Park; or Oklahoma City (to visit the bombing site and just experience Oklahoma) for memorial weekend. Or, we may end up staying home. I don’t really know. I have to go to Florida the following weekend, so I’m not sure if two consecutive long trips are a good idea. Ok City is only about a 3 hour drive, so we could go do that for a day and a half and come back home. Hmmmm….I’m thinking. But, it’d be so fun for Alyssa and me to see more than flat terrain, which makes Guadalupe an attractive choice. We could go hiking while there, too. I miss real good hikes. Here a hike is considered a concrete trail that winds its way through shrubs.

3. I can’t for the life of me paint my toes or fingers. I know this, yet every 5 or 6 months I give it another shot and every time I hate the way it turns out. Alyssa says they look good, but I can tell the difference between my job and the salon’s job. If they don’t look like the salon, I don’t like it. I say all this to say that I need to go get my toes and fingers polished.

4. I ran a strong 5 miles on Saturday. I went on a new trail and I feel like it gave me some new kind of energy. It was a beautiful part of Dallas that I hadn’t experienced before. I’ve driven by there tons of times, but never noticed it. Through the running group, I’m having to find more and more trails because I don’t want the ladies to get bored with us running in the same places. This Wednesday I’ll be running another new one…yay!

5. Alyssa’s loving her natural hair right now. We’ve been playing with twist outs and they are fabulous. She usually has a wash and go and her curls do just fine, but I decided to try some different styles on her. I may do a hair post dedicated to her.

6. My garage door key fob stopped working, and my garage door remote hasn’t been working in months. Now that means I have to press the button that inside the garage, back the car out…go back into the garage and press the button to let it down, then walk out the front door and into the driveway. Do you understand how inconvenient that is?? What did people do before remoteless electronics. I need to get new batteries immediately.

7. I want to rearrange my office again. I know building maintenance is going to get sick of me. I just don’t like this set up anymore. I want smaller desks, too. They are monster sized…the more room, the more mess I seem to create.

8. I have a conference and a part of it is scheduled for the same time as my triathlon. Guess which one wins…the TRI! I’ll go do that early in the morning and hopefully make it to afternoon sessions with no problem.

9. My raggedy trainer has suggested I take another stint off from running because he tried to make me do some exercise that hurt the heck out of my knee. As soon as I attempted the exercise I felt the pain and said no. He said that means I shouldn’t be pounding on my knee. Boo on him…I want to run. I’m going to run through Saturday and then I’ll take a break.

10. I’ve heard the saying that we can’t control who we fall in love with. I happen to disagree.

What's up with you??

~ Ciao

Avoiding Bad

2011-05-20T10:01:00.002-05:00

My mother called me yesterday and told me that she had made a decision to move here in August. When she was sick, I was thinking about her being closer because I wasn’t sure about the extent of the long term effects of her surgery, what her quality of life would be like, her ability to work, etc. Well, turns out her life won’t be altered significantly. My mother is extremely young and has the ability to be healthy if she makes good decisions.

Anyway, we’ve had discussions of her coming here, but there was never a final decision or anything, so yesterday when she matter-of-factly told me that she’d be here in August I was shocked. She went into discussing the cost of storage units for her belongings, looking for jobs, etc. I just sat there listening, stunned. Shortly after I got off the phone and for the next 2 hours I was consumed with thoughts of her statement.

I started thinking about how things would be if she were to move here, and in none of the scenarios was it positive. I tried very hard to think of best case scenarios, but each time I snapped back to reality.

Here’s the thing, if my mother moves here, she will need to live with me for a while…to her a while could be a year or longer. To me a while is a 3 to 4 months. We’ve tried living together since I’ve been an adult and it doesn’t work. It has never worked. And, for several reasons. One, at the end of the day she is my mother and there are things I can’t say or do around her. I owe her respect and it’s hard to maintain that when she undermines me in front of my child. I don’t need Alyssa to see me being the slightest bit disrespectful to her grandmother and in turn thinking she can be the same with me or any adult.

The dynamic between my child and I would be drastically altered if my mother were added to the mix. My mother often thinks I’m too strict and will defend Alyssa’s actions and condemn mine in front of Alyssa openly. As Alyssa enters these teenage years, I can’t take those kinds of chances…mother or not.

The situation could very well end up with my mother having to stay with me indefinitely, and I would be extremely unhappy about that. Things would become one where I would probably have Alyssa and I spending as much time away from home as possible and only get there in time to get Alyssa fed and in bed, then shut up in my room. I refuse to live like that in my own home. I know this will happen because it has happened before. I’ll do this to avoid the tension in turn creating an uncomfortable lifestyle for myself and my child.

I love my mother with all of my heart, but the love has never been enough to avoid what happens when we live together.

We talked a few hours after that initial conversation and I told her all of my concerns. I was careful to be very sensitive with my words because my mother takes any answer of No from family (especially her mother and children) as a rejection of her. I explained our past history of living together, but told her my biggest concern was what it would do to Alyssa’s and my relationship and that I can’t afford to have anything damage that during these crucial years. She immediately said she understood, but I heard the tears gathering in her voice. I even told her that I wasn't trying to stop her from moving if that's what she wanted to do, but that I think she should save enough money and secure a job before she moves, so that she can move directly into her own space. Again, she said she understood, but her voice said she didn't. She told me she had to call me back, but never did.

I don’t feel bad about my decision. But I kinda feel bad for not feeling bad…does that make sense? I just think that it’s better that I told her no before she relocated as opposed to going off the deep end 8 months after she’s here and telling her that no matter the circumstances she has 30 days to find her own place.

Interestingly, Alyssa brought up the idea of her grandmother moving here yesterday after both conversations had taken place. I told her that I told her grandmother I didn't think it would be a good idea...she said that was very rude. I didn't go into the details with her.

We haven't talked today. I want to call, but I want to give her some time, too.

~ Ciao

Pregnancy Dream

2011-05-19T08:52:00.002-05:00

I had a dream last night that my ex (known here as The Ex) came to visit for a week. We hung out and after day one he started telling me that he wanted to work on us getting back together. Throughout the visit we had sex several times between going out. Eventually he leaves and we continue to talk about approaching a relationship.

2 months pass and he comes for another visit. At this point I had just discovered I was pregnant and scared out of my mind. I didn’t want to tell him or anyone because I didn’t want it to be true. I remember being especially afraid to have Alyssa find out. In the dream, I kept seeing her face with different emotions on it flash in my head. Each emotion was negative – sadness, anger, disappointment, confusion. She was asking questions of why I let this happen, and that I knew it was wrong to have sex before marriage.

Anyway…he comes back and we were sitting on the edge of my bed getting redressed and he asked if everything was ok. I blurted out that I was pregnant and started crying. He got upset and questioned why I was involved with other people if we were trying to make a relationship work. I clarified that the baby was his and that I hadn’t been with anyone else. His mood changed to happy and he started talking about how this was a sign that we were supposed to make things work and give it another shot. I just cried and told him that no one could know about this. Especially not Alyssa or my mother. I told him that I couldn’t have Alyssa knowing that I’m having unmarried and unsafe sex with him. He proposed that we get married, and I declined because I didn’t want a marriage under those circumstances. I started rambling about my career, and people at my workplace knowing…I can’t remember everything I was saying about that.

The dream moved forward to 3 months later and he was there for another visit. At this point I was showing, but still hiding the pregnancy from everyone. He asked how long I was going to keep up my charade and I told him for the entire pregnancy. He asked what I was going to do after the baby got here. That’s when I told him that he would have to take the baby and raise it. I’d come see it often, but no one could know it was mine. He was upset initially, but I went into a long speech about how it would damage Alyssa if she found out that I was that irresponsible; how my mother would treat me; how my career would fall apart, and some other foolery. He quickly came around and agreed that he’d take the baby and keep the secret.

Now…I have no idea what the hell this dream means and why I had it. I don’t understand how my mind could even think such things. How, in a dream, I could convince myself to keep a child a secret and give it away only to be it’s other secret parent.

They say dreams have some trace of truth…the truth is I would be so devastated if I was ever irresponsible enough to get pregnant while unmarried. It’s one thing to make stupid teenage decisions, but as a grown woman raising a daughter and teaching her the importance of responsible choices, I would feel like a serious failure. And I would be afraid of the message it would send her. But, I still wouldn’t hide another child from her.

And, I don't think she or my mother would be mad at me. They'd love me anyway, so I don't understand my dream fears.

The dream felt so real…I woke up scared and thinking about how I was going to pull this off.

For you dream interpreters…what do you think this means? I had a great aunt who interpreted dreams, but she passed away a few years ago.

~ Ciao

Monday

2011-05-16T11:14:00.000-05:00

I had a most fabulous weekend. On Friday night me and some of the girls I hang with went out to Karoake. Those who know me in real life know that I love to sing, but I sound a mess. Doesn’t stop me from singing, though. I’m usually not one for karaoke outside of my house or car, but on Friday I was feeling myself and my pipes apparently, lol. With no liquid courage involved (I’m not drinking calories these days), I sang 6 songs: Ke$s.ha’s We R who We R; A. Keys’ Try sle.eping with a Broken Heart; Emp.ire State of M.ind; Adele’s Rolling in the Deep; Brun.o Mars’ Lazy Song; and Ga.ga’s Pok.er face. My score never dipped below 98 and I even got a 100 on Gaga’s song. Fun!

Saturday, after I worked out, I hung out with that kid of mine for the majority of the day as we did tons of window shopping and just a wee bit of actual purchasing. She told me that she was working on her “personal style”, and needed some “pieces” for her wardrobe. I laughed inside…she must have veered away from Disney and Nickelodeon when I wasn’t looking. At any rate, she picked out some cute additions.

On Saturday I also hung out with The Lips – that’s what I’ll call the guy I’ve been hanging out with whose kisses make me weak in the knees.

Sunday was another good day. I didn’t make it to Church, but I did do some much needed cleaning in my room; closet; and bathroom. I also hosted a meeting of a bookclub I’ve organized. I had gotten tired of the one I was apart of so I broke away and started over - sometimes it’s like that. Anyway…we read “Secr.ets of N.ewberry” by Victor McGlot.hin – a Dallas author. The book was actually really good, to my surprise. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it was suspenseful and intriguing. I now want to do more non fiction research on Louisiana....seems like a very strange place from the outside. Anyway, after reaching out to the author weeks earlier he said he couldn’t come to the meeting but would call in…instead he just showed up and surprised us. He was such a pleasure and he loved our perspective on the characters and plot twists. The conversation went from the book to all over the place…it was an all around great time.

Here we are at Monday and it’s all about work, work, work. I’m feeling slightly unmotivated today, yet I have so much I need to get done before Wednesday. I hate when I get this feeling.

On a bright note, today is the day I get to run again. Not sure if I told you all, but I banged my knee on the bottom the pool at Alyssa’s party. Instead of letting the bruising and swelling subside, I kept running for the next couple of days. Needless to say that didn’t work out well, so I ended putting myself on a 5 day running restriction. Today is the day the ban is lifted…yay! I’ll be a running machine after work today…whoop, whoop.

Some observations from my Office this morning:

1. A plant lady comes to the office once a week to water the plants in my office. I’ve told her 5 times that I’ve been seeing little gnats and that I think they’re biting me. I asked her to do whatever needs to be done to make them go away, even if that means taking the plants out of my office. That was 4 weeks ago and I just saw another gnat. I’m going to end up pulling these things right on my door.

2. A former employee who left my City for another Texas City two months ago was just promoted to CM of the City he left for. There are haters here who aren’t happy for him. Go him!

3. Someone here is pregnant…that makes me smile. She’s older and recently got married to a much younger man. They are a beautiful couple and I can’t wait to see this new joy play out in her life!

4. I had my office painted and it looks lovely. I’ve been here just shy of two years and I’ve yet to really decorate…the paint has inspired me. I may do a before and after and make it a post.

How was your weekend?

~ Ciao

Thursday

2011-05-12T11:39:00.000-05:00

1. In one month I will be a triathloner (that’s so not a word, but whatever)! I’m not nearly as nervous about this race as I was the half marathon. I’m all excitement and no nervousness. Alyssa won’t be there to cheer me on and that makes me kind of sad…I wanted her to be there. I get more joy out of seeing her proud of me than I did from my mother when I was kid. How does that happen? The parent/child relationship is so beautiful. She wants to make me proud, and I want to make her proud, and the love is unconditional. That kind of love should be sold on shelves so everyone can experience it.

2. I had a moment yesterday. I was working out with my trainer and I was complaining about a fatty part around my “I’ve given birth pouch.” Apparently he had had enough of my griping and had to remind me that I’ve lost 40+ pounds. He pulled out a picture of me from April 2010 when I first started working with him, but before I really got serious about my health. He told me to look at it and shut up. And, then he told me that I was in a small minority – a group of people who take hold of their health and wellness and follow through. I was reminded that things don’t happen overnight, and that just because I have some fatty areas that I want to vanquish, it’s not enough to beat up on myself and down play the progress I’ve made to date. And, I realized that’s exactly what I’ve been doing – down playing my progress. Over the past couple months of being stuck in the 170s, I’ve been feeling like a loser who isn’t working hard enough to get to the goal that is right there in front of me. Of course my good sense knows I’m working hard and staying focused, but that fat girl inside me is trying to hold me down. Well, I’m shutting her up from now on. I’ve lost over 40 freakin’ pounds…I could have only imagined I’d make this far.

3. I’m so ready to run another half marathon, but the only one close to me this summer is in July…Do you know how hot is in Texas in July??? Imagine the hottest place you’ve ever been…now add 25 degrees…that’s Texas in the summer. On one hand, I want to go for it just because I know if I can get through that, my other two halfs this year will be a breeze. But, on the other hand, I’m over here thinking I’d have to be a maniac to run in 90+ degree weather. I’m going to have to pray about this one, lol.

4. I’ve mentioned here before that I’m running the VA Beach rock n roll half…well, I’ve added the Las Vegas rock n roll, too. The vegas one is at night time…can you say excited?!?!?! And the best part is that I’ll get bonus bling for having run two Rock n Rolls this year…Running for bling baby!! Oh, and fitness…blah, blah, blah…lol.

5. I’m rock the most fabulous French braid today with a cute headband. I’ve been a fan of the French braid since 6th grade. I don’t do them in my hair nearly as much as I’d like to…I just think they are nice to pull out every now and then. One of my coworkers told me this morning that I have more hairstyles than anyone she knows. I told her I have to keep everyone on their toes. Here's a pic...It was difficult to capture the whole length of the braid...my hair is growing like weed.

6. My eyebrows haven’t been threaded in a month and they are finally looking like they need some super special attention. And, let’s not even talk about my nails and the fact that they are screaming for a manicure. I wish I could do both those things at home myself…wait, no I don’t.

7. One day I'm going to write a book and accompanying manual on dating; specifically my dating situations. The thing is, I don't meet losers, jerks, sex hungry cave men, etc. My issues are purely compatibility and mentality - the way I look at things. People don't talk about that when they're shelling out all that worthless dating advice. They only talk about how women have unreasonable lists; how to stay away from assholes; stop picking the same guy, etc, etc. When I figure out the code, I'm writing my book dang it.

~ Ciao

Debts

2011-05-12T11:07:00.000-05:00

I was over at momswholunch earlier in the week catching up on some missed posts, when I read something that struck a nerve. She mentioned the black tax - defined there as the burden (my word, not hers) of having to take care of ones parents financially when you become an adult. She was mentioning how she was blessed not to have that tax.

For a long time, I’ve known that I would have it. And for the same amount of time I’ve resented that. My family is one that believes children should take care of parents when the parents get a certain age, or when they have financial struggles. I believe that grown people should take care of themselves. I believe that an adult child shouldn’t be made to feel selfish or ungrateful if they don’t want to shell over their money to take care of another person’s household.

I’m so grateful for all of the sacrifices made by my mother and grandmother to raise me. We weren’t overflowing with financial resources, but they still provided for all of my needs and just about all of my wants. Even after I had my daughter, I don’t know what I would have done without the two of them. They were always the safe place I knew I could retreat to if things went awry. Whether that was for food, shelter, clothing, money, whatever….I knew they had my back.

Here we are years later and I’ve done exactly what they raised me to do, be independent and financially stable. Now, I feel like I’ve become the safe place. I’m happy that I have the ability to help when needed, but I don’t like the fact that they have attempted to make it an expectation. One of which I had to shut down a few months ago…not without major attitude and defensiveness. I know how to take the blows and then go cry in the dark to let it all out.

I don’t know if this is a black family thing, or just a family thing, but I’ve only heard about this entitlement type mentality among black families. It’s like parents think because they raised you, you now owe them a percentage of your added value. I used to hear it all the time from my granny, “Just keep making them good grades and one day you’ll be able to take care of me.” Or my older cousins who had sons, “Ray Ray is good with that football, he’s gonna make it big and take care his mama.”

I believe that repayment of a parent’s good child rearing is to see their children successful – however they define that – and to see them do better than generations before them. The repayment isn’t money or things. I don't want Alyssa to ever have to worry about taking care of me financially. Now, I would appreciate it if she will allow my savings to pay for a live in nurse instead of her putting me away in a home when I'm all old, lol.

Seriously, I teach Alyssa about financial responsibility; planning; choices; consequences; and the freedom to reach beyond any limits. If she learns only half of what I've been teaching her over the years, I'll be a proud mommy. Other than respect, I dont' expect anything in return. She will never owe me any debts.

Now, let me be clear, I don’t mind doing things financially for my family…I just don’t like being expected to because of some silly mentality of entitlement. And, it makes it really difficult to turn over my hard earned money when I know that certain people asking just aren’t fiscally responsible. And, even more, I don’t like being met with guilt trips or attitudes when I say no.

I know some people disagree with me totally and feel like it's their duty to take care of their parents financially because of all they've done for them. I don't think either of us are wrong...we just look at it differently.

What do you think? Is this a familiar situation to you?

Battles

2011-05-11T08:33:00.001-05:00

I’m in the reflecting mood and therefore I’m purging some of my internal battles on the screen

1. Staying in Texas – I go back and forth on what I want to do. I have to make a decision by August 2012. A year seems like a long time, but really it isn’t. If I don’t leave then, I’m pretty much going to be in the Dallas area until 2016. That type of commitment really scares me. I like Dallas, but I’m always thinking about what place I’d like even more. I think in my perfect world I’d move every 2 to 3 years.

2. My parenting – I’m a good mommy, that much I do know. However, that doesn’t stop me from worrying about every one of my parenting decisions. Now that Alyssa is a teenager (ugh), I feel she’s old enough to start getting a bit more independence. Yesterday I let her go onto itunes and buy music without me combing through the list first. For the most part, I like her musical preferences, but she’s getting older and those little kids at school are exposing her to music I don’t care for her (or me) to listen to. We’ve gone over what’s acceptable and not, now let’s just hope she followed the rules. I’m going to go through her list without her knowing sometime this week to make sure there is nothing unacceptable on there. On Saturday I let her walk down the street with two other friends to a third friend’s house (whose parents I know) to stand outside and talk…I was not within eye view. I was so nervous. I’m not a fan of letting children run around without supervision…it’s just not my style. I don’t mind them coming to my house, because I watch people’s kids…not every parent does that. But, I know that my kid knows right from wrong and for the most part she chooses right. I let her stay down there for 20 minutes this time; next time maybe it will be 30.

3. Dating – I feel like I have a right to be as selective as I want to be. And, I am. Does that mean I’m limiting myself…yes it does. But, I wanted to be limited from those I won’t be compatible with. A huge part of me wants a committed relationship, and another part of me just wants a companion to hang out with while continuing to review my options in the dating world. I just don’t want to choose one guy knowing that there is someone better for me out there…I think I have some serious commitment issues.

4. My mother – A part of me wants her to be closer because of her recent health issues, but another part of me…shamefully a bigger part of me wants her to stay right where she is. I never set out to move to get away from her or anyone. I left Florida because I want to explore and experience until my heart desires. Having my mother along somehow diminishes that for me…at least in my mind. I do adore her, really. I just don’t want to be around her everyday. She can get needy and demanding of my time. And, I know that if she moved near, she’d want to live with me for a while, and I know you’re not supposed to let people rule your mood, but even without her trying hard, my mood would be so affected. I sound like a monster, but I know me, I know her, and I know we do better when we have an opportunity to miss each other.

5. My Family – my granny and mother are still fueding. Maybe that word is too harsh. They aren’t talking at all, so I guess they aren’t really fueding. They haven’t spoken since December 4th, my mother’s bday. Since that time a new year has begun, my mother has had a serious surgery, my granny has turned another year old, and mother’s day has come and gone. All without them saying one word. I haven’t spoken directly to my grandmother since march 11th. I’ve called her numerous times only to get her answering machine. I talk to it for at least 60 seconds to give her an opportunity to get to the phone. She’s taken me sister’s calls. My mother is mad at my uncle – her brother; I innocently shared something with her regarding a phone call he and I had and she completely took it out of context and made it a personal slight to her. Then she texted him an aggressive message involving me in the middle. My sister and I haven’t spoken voice to voice since March 22nd. The nurses and doctors were being jerks to my mother and I got mad that she was was trying to blame it all on my mother instead of taking her side and trying to keep her calm before she went into her major surgery. Since then my sister won’t answer my calls, but she will respond by text. I called her on her birthday last month and I got a “thank you” text some hours later. Alyssa barely knows her cousins because she’s never been around them for extended periods of time. I feel like something is infiltrating our family and tearing it apart. And, by all accounts it appears that we are allowing it to happen. I’m not a fan of holding on to old hurts and past slights, but the rest of them seem to take pride in that. Everyone feels entitled to be apologized to first. I’m hurt by the whole thing, but it’s not about me. It has to be about all of us as a family unit, and until everyone realizes that, nothing will change. A part of me is content with my little 2 person family (Alyssa and I). We do a great job of preserving our happy and we live drama free.

That's it.

Comfort

2011-05-10T08:39:00.002-05:00

My monthly cycles have gotten more uncomfortable over the past few months. And my “I’ve given birth” pouch feels weird during that same time of month. My doctor wants to see me and make sure everything is alright.

I’m trying to consider the pills that reduces periods to 4 times a year. I’m not a fan of birth control pills, patches, or anything that means foreign hormones are working their way through my body on a daily basis, though. It just seems like pumping that stuff into my body will later impact my ability to have more children if I so choose. It’s not like a vitamin…it’s just some drug that’s invading my body every single day.

Even with that said, this discomfort is driving me nuts, and I need a relief. I’m just really worried…I mean the long list of side effects are enough to drive me batty.

I’ve only used the pill during one part of my life, for about 6 months. My ex and I had gotten a little too comfortable “slipping up” and I decided to give the pill business a chance. I was stressed out every morning when I had to take the thing. I just kept thinking it was doing something to my future. On one hand it was making sure I wasn’t having any babies now, but I kept thinking it was going to keep me from having babies later, too. It was too much and I bailed on them.

I hope my doctor has an alternative method that can provide relief and doesn’t just try to push the pill on me. I’ve had doctors try to do that in the past for no reason other than they knew I was sexually active. I’m a believer in and fan of the condom, but sex hasn’t been on my radar and I don’t see that changing in the very near future.

I made a decision back in summer 2009 after I ended things with the Rainmaker that I wasn’t having casual sex anymore. By casual, I mean sex outside of a committed relationship. Side Note: Interesting how I see casual as outside of a committed relationship and my granny saw it as sex outside of a marriage. I wonder how Alyssa will see it when she’s an adult.

Anyway, I’m a multi-tasking dater, meaning I don’t want to date one person at a time, and so I feel like if I don’t care about anyone enough to date them exclusively, then how am I going to be comfortable enough to have really great sex with them. And, honestly, really great sex is the only kind of sex I want. I’ve just noticed that in my experience relationship sex has been the best sex. I’m comfortable, relaxed and my feelings are involved. Real feelings make everything better.

Since this post has gone in a direction I didn’t plan, I’ll end it here.

~ Ciao

Choices

2011-05-06T09:31:00.001-05:00

I’ve been thinking hard about some things over the past couple of days. I searched my memory bank for different situations I’ve been in. Situations that caused deep thought, deliberation, happiness, sadness, etc. What I realized is that very few situations have been as difficult as I’ve made them. I can only remember once when I had a serious struggle with differentiating between right and wrong. That’s what it comes down to…what is right and what is wrong.

As much as I want to do wrong sometimes, and I have chosen wrong on a few occasions because I knew it would lead to temporary thrills, I know that it always leads to the same destination – bad. I’ve even tried playing in the gray area…that just leads to wrong, which leads right back to bad.

My life is peaceful, happy, and full of so much greatness right now. Choosing wrong over right could ruin all of that. It could bring me to sleepless nights and consumed thoughts over things that simply aren’t worth my peace of mind.

I used to pray and ask God to take certain situations, people, and temptations away from me. I’ve learned that instead I should have been asking for strength to get through those things. That’s what I need…strength. I’m always going to have to make a decision between right and wrong, and I want the strength to choose right without trying to find a loophole or telling myself I deserve to walk on the wild side.

That’s it.

Today's Thoughts

2011-05-02T11:33:00.000-05:00

My baby is a teenager! And what a wonderful teenager she is. Quick funny story: So, I told you all how I stopped her from sleeping with me, but that after 18 days a storm came and she was scared, so she got in my bed. Well…surprisingly, that didn’t restart her trend of getting in my bed all the time. Nope, she went right back to sleeping in her bed every night. But, last night the weather was terrible. I think it was literally the worst sounding storm I’ve ever been in. I grew up in Florida around hurricanes, and yet last night had all of that beat. Anyway…so I was still awake and she comes downstairs looking pitiful and this is what she says, “Mommy….I can’t believe I have to do this, but I really need to sleep with you because this storm is creeping me out.” Me: “What can’t you believe?” Her: “I’m about to be 13, I should be able to get through a thunderstorm in my own room…but I just can’t. I wanted to wake up a teenager in my room, not yours.” I laughed and told her that she was allowed to be my baby teenager for as long as she wanted.
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The weekend was great! I actually don’t think there is any such thing as a bad weekend, but that’s just me.

I got in a quick run on Saturday…not nearly as long as I needed to. I didn’t bike at all…with only 5 weeks left before my race, I really need to get it together on my biking…ugh.
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Alyssa’s team came in first place in their bracket at the tournament. They didn’t lose any games…that was a first. She played her little heart, legs, and arms out. I’m so happy they finished on top!

I got tons of shopping done for Alyssa’s party on Saturday. I got the girls’ beach bags (totes) last week, and this weekend I got flip flops; sunscreen; leis, fabulous drinking goblets (for Alyssa’s signature bday drink), and sunglasses to go inside the bags.

Everything is pretty much done with the exception of the cake and food. I’m really trying to convince Alyssa to do cupcakes, but she’s bound and determined to have an actual cake.
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On Osama: Alyssa and I had a conversation about the latest happenings this morning. She just didn’t understand the glory that people had in this man’s death. Sure she understood the bad and evil he had orchestrated, but she was perplexed by the seemingly glee of others. I told her I felt the same way and then I explained why it was fine for us to feel the way we do.

Here’s the thing. I have not and will not celebrate that man’s death as a victory or anything else. I don’t care how evil and disturbed he was, his death does not bring me joy. First of all, he didn’t know Jesus Christ, and to me that means his soul is going through some serious things right about now and they aren’t good. There is scripture that talks about just how much the Lord doesn’t want anyone to perish. This man is likely perishing. And, that is not celebration worthy, nor should it be to people who claim to love Christ.

Now, don’t misunderstand this as me sympathizing with Osama. He had plenty of chances to know and accept Christ, so his fate is his own doing. I’m not going to cry because his evil has left this world, I’m just not going to celebrate it either.

On Obama: Politically he just won one. His liberal base who wanted him to completely bail on any war-like activities related to 9/11 are now all celebrating this news with and for him. Many party line republicans will find a way to make this all about them and their control of intelligence committees, etc and give Obama no credit for making tough decisions. There will be some independents who sway back to his side because they’ll believe in his ability to be “tough”. And, then there will be several who don’t care because they’re still struggling to feed themselves and their families.

The act of war is a conflicting thing…for me at least. No one ever wins…someone just losses a little less than the other guy. Saddest thing…there is no end.

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I had another kiss and yet again my knees went weak. Mmm, mmm, good!

How was your weekend?

It's the Weekend Baby!

2011-04-29T09:46:00.002-05:00

I love the weekends!

Alyssa has a tourney this weekend...her last of the season. I'm sad because she is kinda sad, but I'm happy that we get our weekends back, at least for a little while. I've explained to her that she'll have a volleyball filled summer, so there is no need to be sad. I think she's going to miss playing with her teammates until next club season.

I need to find time to do some spring cleaning this weekend as well. I have a 2 car garage, but one side looks like a storage dump. I really need to get that together. If I don't do it soon, I'm not going to know where to start. I also have to organize some closets...especially the coat closet...it's like a defacto storage room.

My training schedule calls for 5 miles of running and 8 miles of cycling this weekend. Speaking of running, I'm the Dallas ambassador for the Black Girls Run! running group, and we're having our first scheduled run this weekend. I'm too excited!!

Alyssa invited me to lunch today at her school. I was so super excited by that. Since she's been in middle school she has never invited me to lunch, I've always just surprised her. I haven't done that in a long time and she told me she missed it and wanted me there. I'm going to stop and grab some cupcakes for her and her friends - I have to get a surprise in there some kinda way.

I kissed a guy and I liked it (in my katy perry voice)! It's been a minute since I had a passionate kiss. I felt like a weak in the knees teenager. I can't wait to kiss him again. This weekend perhaps!

What's on your agenda for the weekend??

Side Note: Yay for the Royal wedding. I can't wait to watch all of the coverage. I don't understand why there are so many people hating on them and the coverage.

~ Ciao

Weight Loss Wednesday - Volumes 34 -38

2011-04-27T08:18:00.003-05:00

Well, Well, Well...I haven't posted my weight loss update in a month. But, I'm still at it.

The short version is that not much has changed in the numbers. I'm now at 177, but 3 weeks ago I made it to 174.something. I've been going up and down, back and forth with the same 3 or 4 pounds.

Some of it is definitely my fault. My alcohol intake increased significantly for a week long period and then I have been completely inconsistent with my weight training. Running, swimming, biking no problem. I can cardio all day...but what is going to burn through this fat and keep my metabolism going it muscle. I know that, but for some reason I can't follow through with 3 days of weight training.

My trainer and I had lunch yesterday to talk about a new plan for me. I'm ready to resculpt my body and lose these last set of pounds.

I've finally gotten to a place where I don't weigh myself every morning. Now I weigh myself every third day, lol. I don't know if that's any better, but it makes me feel better.

On the food front, I'm doing the same. My processed food intake is limited to bread, because a girl loves her sandwiches.

So...I'm hoping that by the end of May I can be out of the 170s, hopefully the middle of the month once I incorporate a consistent weight training program.

In summary, here are my stats:

Starting weight: 218.5
Current weight: 177.2
Total Loss: 41.3

Enough about me. I haven't heard about your own weight loss/ healthy living adventures. How is it going???

No Excuse...

2011-04-25T10:44:00.001-05:00

There is no excuse for me being away this long so I won’t even give you one. Well, I could explain how swamped I’ve been with work, mommy duties, and my athletic hobbies…but, again, I won’t give you the excuses.

While I was gone:

I went to Miami for a week and had a fabulous time…no really…it was fabulous. I mostly hung out with a homeboy from college and had liquor for the first time in a hot minute.

I also enjoyed the beautiful Miami scenery on a couple of runs – short runs, I should add. It was hot and humid, so it wasn’t ideal for me to be out there for an extended period of time. However, I did enjoy being outside for long periods while we were on the beach…the breeze was fabulous.

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Alyssa decided she wanted to have a pool party to celebrate her 13th birthday. We’ll have to celebrate a week after her actual birthday thanks to a vball tourney the weekend of her actual day. She’s super excited and so I am. She has not so subtly let me know that she wants a charm bracelet and digital camera – in her words, “a real digital camera.” Are there faux digital cameras??? I wasn’t aware. I want to get her an appropriate pg-13 movie just to make her feel special because it seems like she is most excited about being able to watch movies that are rated about pg.

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I’ve been playing with the same 3 pounds since my last Wednesday Weight loss post. I had gotten down to 175, but now I’m back at 177…I don’t know what’s wrong. The 170s are holding me captive, but I’m working on an escape plan.

I have to work hard for weight loss these days. The weeks of automatic 3 pound losses are few and far between. One reason may be because I drank my weight time 4 in calories while I was in Miami…I feel like my body is still getting rid of that mess.

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I ran my fastest 3 miles yesterday. It was sooo hard, but I got it done in 30 minutes and 11 seconds. It was a treadmill run, but I’m going to try to duplicate it on the road this week. I can tell that my speed work is paying off, but if I can just get more consistent with my strength training, I’ll be hitting the 29 minute mark in no time!

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I’ve been cycling like an animal. I’m trying to make sure I murder the 12 miles during my triathlon. 12 miles in under 1 hour is my goal. I still don’t have a tri suit…I’m trying to wait until a couple weeks before because I’m in between sizes again and I don’t want to buy something that will look messy by June.

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I’ve fallen in love with my current position all over again. I’ve injected myself into some wonderful projects and in essence took the lead. However, my desire to move upward has only gotten stronger.

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I’ve started seriously considering cutting and relaxing my hair. Seriously. I’m thinking about doing it when I reach my goal weight and body fat percentage. I want a drastic hair change. We’ll see how I feel in a few months!

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So what’s been going on with you all?

~ Ciao

A Few Things

2011-04-06T10:36:00.001-05:00

I’m not sure if time heals or just helps us cope with and or suppress old pains. Sometimes the slightest smell, sound, or sight can cause a flood of feelings, that I thought were gone, to rush back to me. Funny how that happens.

I met someone new. He is nice. He is cute. He is smart. I’ll tell you more about him if he proves to be worthy. Lol.

My friend posted an article about middle-aged men and why women should date them. I’m not real clear on what middle-aged is by definition, but I’m not into old guys. Maybe old is too harsh a word, but that’s the word I choose to use…you get the point. I can’t get my head around some guy being 10+ years older than me. At any rate, I read the little snippets of why women should date middle-aged men. Some of the reasons included: they know what they want; they’re confident; they’re established; they’re groomed. I’ll let you find the article to read the rest. They also had reasons to date young men…yeah, um, I’m team young men (my definition of young is 35 and under)!

My hair looks a complete hot mess today. I went to bed last night without wrapping it, and I woke up to a curly frizz puff, and after my shower it was just a wet, curly, frizz puff. I could have tamed it and made it look presentable, but instead I threw it in the most horrible loose pony tail bun like thing. What I forgot was that I have a presentation today.

I’ve had no real knee pain since my half marathon. I’m so thankful. I’m back up to 6 miles this weekend…knee don’t fail me now!

I don’t know if I used an extra amount of washing liquid in my last load of whites or what, but my crisp white button down smells delicious today. I’ve been literally sniffing myself all morning! Don’t judge me, I like to indulge in life’s simple pleasures.

Last week I was having thoughts of scandal. A very scandalous opportunity has presented itself and I want so badly to seize it, but my conscious won’t let me. I have a tendency to feel bad about things, which makes me confess. In this case, confessing would not only shed a bad light on me, but on someone else…and I don’t need to feel the guilt of that just to make myself feel better. So, the best thing to do is not to be scandalous. Aw man…I never get to have any bad fun…booo.

Did I mention that I got a road bike? I biked 6 of my intended 10 miles this past weekend. Let me just tell you…road bikes are the bomb. So much more efficient than trying to ride a mountain bike on the road. It’s a vintage, so I have to do a few things to make it tri ready for my long bikes. Just yesterday I ordered some tri handle bars, which will allow me to get in proper long bike form. Yay! I can’t wait to use them.

Oh…let me also mention that road biking in texas is scary. There are no bike lanes and these people think car is king. What happened to sharing the road?? So, because I’m afraid of being clipped by some big monster truck, I ride in the middle of the lane just to make sure no one will hit me. They have to wait until the other side is completely clear before passing me. It probably pisses them off, but safety first, right? LOL.

Alyssa has a new babysitter and she’s awesome. Speaking of babysitters, Alyssa told me that next month when she turns 13 I don’t have to worry about keeping a babysitter for her. According to her, 13 is the proper age to be sitter-less. HA! I told her to think again.

I finally put my foot down on her sleeping with me. I mean she had gotten out of control. Instead of her asking to sleep with me, she was getting in my bed so often that I would have to ask her if I could please sleep alone for a night. Finally, I told her that she was no longer allowed to sleep in my bed…at least not during the week, and at maximum one day during the weekend. She didn’t like it at first, but then she said fine and that she just wouldn’t sleep with me anymore. So, 18 days go by and she did not sleep with me…that’s the longest time that’s happened in ages. Well on Sunday we had a big thunderstorm filled with lighting and thunder. As you can imagine in the middle of the night I got a visitor to my room. She woke me asking to sleep with me because she was scared. I love her…and I love that I can still take her fears away.

Misuse

2011-04-04T15:52:00.001-05:00

The cham.ber of comm.erce holds a breakfast called a “candid.ate fo.rum.” At this event, local political candidates go around to every table talking about their political platforms and answering questions of the attendees. Oh yeah, and you can make out a check to their campaign if you so please. Again, what does this sound like to you? I’ll tell you what it sounds like to me…it sounds like a political event. Now imagine that your sales tax or property tax dollars were being used to allow public employees to attend this event. What do you think about that?

I’ll tell you what I think about it…I think it’s BS. I love politics, and I’m definitely not a public employee hater, but more than that, I believe in ethics, and I consider myself to be very ethical. And, I find everything about the above scenario to be unethical. As appealing as attending a “candidate forum” is to me (because I love politics so much), I would feel like I was stealing from the people if I allowed their tax money to pay my entrance. Or if I counted my time attending the event as time I’m working.

Apparently employees have been using tax money to do this over the past several years. It only came to my attention today and I let it be known that it was unacceptable and even illegal seeing as how public employees aren’t to be engaged in political activities during work…let alone using public money to do so.

You wouldn’t believe the push back I got. Here are a couple of quotes, “We have been allowed to do this since before you were working here.” “I’m paying for this out of MY department budget, so why is it a big deal?” “It’s not like a political debate; it’s just a breakfast to hear where the candidates stand.” “Tickets are only $20.”

Here are a couple of things I said: “Just because you’ve done the wrong thing for years doesn’t make it any less wrong.” “How would your neighbor feel if they knew their tax bill was being used in part to support a political event?” “I didn’t say you couldn’t go, but you will need to use personal or vacation time and the purchase of your ticket will come out of your own pocket.”

I’m not a fan of yelling or cursing at work…I find it quite unprofessional. However, I wanted to both scream and cuss at these people. It’s not just that they’ve been doing this for years as if it was right (don’t get it twisted, that pisses me off completely), it’s that once called out on their unethical and illegal behavior, they proceed to give me their piss poor reasons of entitlement.

Unless you’ve been under a rock, you know that public employees seem to be public enemy number ONE. For some reason, they are the reason every state and local government is in bad financial shape (NOT). And, if they aren’t a public safety officer, well they’re just a waste of space, resources, and money.

It should go without saying that I don’t agree with that one bit, but I can see how the ignorant who only listen to foolery and half truths can believe that. And, unfortunately there are a lot of people like that out there. They hear one side of the issue and run with it, without weighing all aspects. But, people like the ones I work with only perpetuate that sentiment by misusing tax funds.

If money was being spent on political events - something so blatantly wrong and unethical, I can only imagine how much money is being spent on things that are just on the cusp of wrong.

I’m not so slow as to think that every company – whether private or public – doesn’t have some employees who steal resources. The thing about this situation is that these employees have been doing something wrong, but are adamant that they are right and even feel a sense of entitlement to use public money and time to attend this event.

Now that I’ve shut it down, there are a whole group of employees who see me as the wicked witch (with a b) of the Southwest. Guess what, I don’t give a bleep.

So annoyed!

~Ciao

Thursday Stuff

2011-03-31T11:56:00.003-05:00

1. I started my second master swim class this week. It’s wearing me out, but in a good way. I’m doing a much better job of finding and keeping my pocket of air more consistently.

2. Alyssa has decided that she’d like to do the Triathlon with me. That now means she will need to take a technique class for swimming. She can swim, but she needs some form.

3. My baby was nominated for the National Youth Leadership Conference by one of her teachers. It never gets old or less amazing for me to find out that others see in my child what I see – How wonderful she is!

4. I haven’t run more than 5 miles at a time since my half marathon. I need to get back in half marathon training mode. April is the month to make it happen.

5. I’m tired of both of the guys I’m kind dating. I say kinda because I don’t give either of them much of my time. I’m very close to being tired of dating altogether. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I don’t know), that feeling never lasts long. My “if at first you don’t succeed” attitude can be quite tiring sometimes.

6. I found out this week that I will be going to Miami for a week in April. Man, having to go to Miami is tough, but someone has to do it, LOL.

7. When Alyssa was younger and I had to pay for daycare and all kinds of other expenses related to little children I used to think that as she got older her costs would get lower. WRONG! How is it that she is more expensive now than she ever has been? The price one pays for an active child. I wouldn’t change it for the world, but I do enjoy kinda griping about it to you all.

8. I’ve been rocking straight hair for a week and then I moved to the wavy look courtesy of my waver. I hadn’t used that thing in forever, but after finishing my hair I remember how much I love that little heating tool. Can you say sexy hair!

9. Every time I walk to my car and see my 13.1 magnet, I get so happy. I’m a totally different person than I was last March. Well, not totally, but there have been many great changes. Go Growth!

10. This year I’m going to attempt to do a landscape job in my backyard…myself. I had been saving to have it done professionally, but I’m not doing that anymore. I want to get out there and do it myself. My plan is to start in May and work in the early morning before the heat tries to destroy me. I know different elements of what I want, but I don’t have a cohesive plan developed yet. More to come on hat.

11. Why is it March 31st? Is this what it’s like once you pass 30? Time just goes by in a flash. Well, good thing I’m enjoying it to the fullest!

12. I’m running a 5k next weekend. A group of girls I know claim they want to get fit and try jogging/running. They asked that I find a 5k for us to do. I have, and only 1 of them has committed to going. Color me annoyed.

13. My mother is recovering well…thanks for all the prayers and nice emails.

14. I’ve been thinking more and more about what countries I want to be an expat in once Alyssa goes to college.

15. Speaking of college: I really want Alyssa to go to an HBCU for undergrad. We have that discussion at least once every 2 weeks. She doesn’t want to go to FAMU, though. Sad face. She’s like me in that she likes to make her own path (and she’s finally gotten over Florida and no longer wants to move back there). I admire her strength and leadership, blah, blah lol. Anyway, we’ve talked and done research on FAMU (I’m not giving up), Ha.mpton, How.ard, NC A.&T, and Spe.lman. Those are the only HBCU options I support. In the end, it will be her decision on what University she chooses, whether it’s an HBCU or a majority institution. With one exception: my money WILL NOT go to FSU. I’ve made that clear since she was 5 years old. She has finally taken them off her list, lol.

16. My office is no less than 15 degrees colder than the rest of the building. You can literally feel the difference once you cross the threshold. It’s terrible.

That's all...what's going on with you?

~Ciao

Geared Up To Tri!

2011-03-24T07:00:00.002-05:00

I finally found my first Triathlon!!! I’m so excited. I’m doing it on June 11th. Let us all pray that it won’t be disgustingly hot.

So, while I’ve started the swim portion of my training and I continue to run, I have been negligent with the bike. I still need a new (or new to me) road bike. I need to stalk craigs.list until something in my price range ($200 or below) pops up. Earlier today I saw one for $120, and I wrote the seller asking if they’d be willing to accept $100…gotta negotiate, right? I hope I hear back from them.

I’ve also decided to get a one piece tri suit instead of the two piece set. I found one online for $62, which is a great price compared to everything else I’ve seen out there.

I have a swim cap, goggles, and a bike helmet, so once I get the two items above, I’ll be good to go!

This Tri is going to be so awesome…I know it! I’ve been doing triathlon research but not nearly as much as I’ve done regarding running. I’m kicking it into high gear now to learn everything I can about this type of race. I’m most interested in learning about transition techniques. I really don’t want to add tons of time to my total by being slow or inefficient from one leg of the race to the next.

Although I haven’t completed this first event yet, I can’t wait for the day that I can do the Olympic Distance and then who knows, maybe a half ironman?!?!! But, please note, I have no desire to do a full ironman, none at all.
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In other news, I’m still searching for a Spring Half marathon. I don’t want to travel for my Spring and Fall halfs, but it’s looking like I may have to…at least to Austin or Houston. I’ll figure it out soon enough. I need to revise my entire running schedule actually.
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I’m going to check out a bootcamp next week for a free trial. I haven’t done a bootcamp in a while, but since I’m looking for ways to work on being stronger, I’m thinking this may be the shake up I need right now.

I need some push ups, pull ups, and weight lifting in my life. My arms are a hot mess and I don’t like that.
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What’s going on in your fitness world??

Weight Loss Wednesday - Volumes 30 -33

2011-03-23T14:37:00.003-05:00

I haven't updated this series since February...bad Aretha. Well, please don't confuse my blogging laziness with health and fitness laziness. I've been keeping on track pretty well. Although I did go processed foods crazy while in Orlando for the half marathon. I told myself it was all in the name of fueling up before the big race. We'll tell ourselves anything to do what we know we shouldn't...bad Aretha again.

My fruit and veggie intake was kinda sketchy while I was in Florida last week visiting my mother as well, but I didn't go processed foods crazy.

I feel like I've snapped to my senses and I'm back on track.

I commend those who can travel and still maintain their sexy...it's hard on the road.

Well here are my stats to date:

Starting Weight: 218.5 lbs
Current Weight: 176.4 lbs
Total Loss: -42.1 lbs

Remaining to 1st phase goal: 12.9 lbs
Remaining to ultimate goal: 21.4 lbs

I've made some amazing progress. I look different, I feel different, I act different. That's right, I look Healthy; I feel Healthy; I act Healthy! Whoop whoop...Winning! LOL.

When I first took on this lifestyle change, I told myself that I wanted to reach my weightloss goal by April 2011. It doesn't look like that will happen, and that's okay. Weightloss is a process and as long as I keep up the habits I've formed, I'll get to my goal. For my ego and confidence's sake, I'm hoping to reach my ultimate goal by week 52 - 1 year!! I can do it, and I WILL!

So....I hope you all are still committed to your health and fitness, or if you haven't been I hope you rediscover your spark.

By the way, I'm wondering if I have any Dallas area lurkers. If so, I need some running buddies. If anyone is interested, email me!

~ Ciao

I'm Back - In Shorts

2011-03-21T13:15:00.002-05:00

Hi there! I’ve been gone for a while…much longer than expected, but I’m back now.

Alyssa and I had to take an impromptu trip to Florida last week because my mother is in the hospital. For all you praying folks, please say a prayer. She’s still in there, but I had to get back to work and Alyssa to school. All signs point to us returning there in the next week or so.

Before heading to Florida, we went to Houston for a vball tourney. The Girls did a phenomenal job and came within 2 points of coming in first place. There little faces were so disappointed, but I was so proud of all of them, especially my baby.

I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection over the past couple of weeks. I live an active life and I’m constantly getting myself involved in something, but I’m trying to do an assessment to make sure that what I say I want and what I put my energy toward are truly things I WANT for my life. Are they things I NEED for my life.

Earlier this morning I wanted to cry but I have no idea why. My eyes filled with tears, but I wouldn’t let them fall because I felt silly for wanting to cry and not know why. My period isn’t about to come on, so it’s not that. I’m concerned about my mother, but I have total faith in Christ that everything will work out, so it’s not that. Alyssa is fine, so it’s not that. Work isn’t great right now, but it’s nothing to cry about, so it’s not that. I don’t know what it is. I feel happy right now…why then did I want to cry like a baby this morning?? No clue.

Despite me not blogging about my weight loss for 2 or 3 weeks, I’m still on target. I’m down to 176lbs (woooohoooo). I only ran twice last week, which is no bueno. However, I did some different strength exercises to fill in the gaps. I’m still working out a solid strength routine to use between my runs. I have got to get stronger and really soon!

Alyssa will be 13 in less than 2 months. I want to get her something very teenager-ish and sophisticated. I have no clue what to do. I’m thinking about a nice jewelery set or redoing her room. She told me last week that she thinks it looks too childish. To be exact she said, “Don’t you think it’s time to change my room…it looks childish; like I’m 8 or something.” I guess my baby is a full blown big girl now.

I wore shorts in public for the first time since I was 21 years old. At a certain point and weight I just thought my thighs were way to big to share with the world….But, I wore short skirts. Now that I think about it, I think I just I’ve been self conscious about shorts. Well, I wore a pair to a bbq this past Saturday and I was feeling myself the entire time, lol! Oh, and they are a size 12 and very loose around the waist….the 10’s were too snug on my thighs, but perfect on the waist…I guess this means I’m in between sizes again ..whoop, whoop. Here’s a pic.

Soooo, what's been going on in blog land?? I guess I need to go catch up on your lives :)

~ Ciao

Single Parent Guilt

2011-03-09T11:27:00.001-06:00

I would say that Alyssa and I have a really good relationship. We communicate well, not counting her lies for self preservation (i.e. the Christmas fiasco, ugh). I understand her and I know what kind of child she is.

I will admit that since having her, I’ve gone out of my way to make sure she didn’t turn into a person with only-child syndrome. I was an only child for 9 years, and I was sooo selfish and bratty growing up. Well, not most of the time, but that’s because most of the time I got what I wanted. But, there were times my selfish and bratty side would show up and show out. Like, I would throw fits and stomp away if I didn’t win all the games at my birthday parties. If I didn’t get the things I wanted, I was pissy until it was given to me. Terrible, I know, but kids only do what they’re allowed to do. This makes me sound like a terrible kid…I really wasn’t, but looking back they were just bad traits to have no matter how sporadic.

So, I vowed not to create the monster I was. So, while Alyssa gets most of what she wants, it’s not automatic. I make her work for it, or I wait a while before I give it to her and it’s presented as a surprise for some good deed she’s done. And, I’m not afraid to say No sometimes, just because saying yes all the time is a major set up for children, in my opinion.

But, I didn’t think about the attention piece. I was selfish with attention growing up as well. I wanted ALL of my mother and granny’s attention. I mean ALL of it. I needed to be the center of their universe at all times. I also needed them to be proud of me and tell me often.

So here we are, Alyssa is 2 months shy of 13 and she suffers from only-child syndrome. Not in the materialistic way I did, but in the way of needing my undivided attention. Now, let me state here that we spend tons of quality time together…most of my time is spent between her and work. We go on mommy/daughter dates; we sit up and talk all night on the weekends; we get pedicures together; we run together; we talk non stop when we’re home (that’s what 12 year old girls do – talk); She even sleeps in my bed 6 out of 7 nights a week, despite me telling her she’s too old for it. My point is that this child gets ALL of my attention.

It’s also clear that she feeds off my approval. If I miss even one minute of her volleyball practice (not the game…the PRACTICE), she gets upset. We go through this every Tuesday because I have late meetings and she rides with the carpool. When I pick her up, she tells me about all the awesome moves I missed and how I needed to be there to see it. When I am at her practice, she is constantly looking at me to give her a thumbs up when she does well, or to blow her a kiss. Even when she messes up, if I don’t look disappointed or mouth the words, “You need to focus and hustle”, she will ask me after practice why I wasn’t really “present.” Or why I didn’t encourage her to do better.

A part of this is totally my fault. I suffer from single parent guilt…I always have. I know that at the end of the day I’m all she has. I have to be everything all the time. And, I have never wanted her to feel like she was inferior or missing something because her parents aren’t married and living under the same roof. So, while I’ve been focusing on warding off a materialistic, selfish child, I’ve created a child who feeds off my constant attention and approval.

I’ve really realized it this school year, but the weekend we went to Florida for my race really smushed my face in it. Whenever we were alone she made some smart comments about me not really paying attention to her during the weekend, or not talking to her a lot. I was dumbfounded and asked what she was talking about. She just said, “you just haven’t been talking to me that much since we got here.” I laughed it off and told her to stop being silly.

Then once everyone left and we were completely alone she told me that it made her sad that we didn’t talk that much during the weekend, and that she thought I was giving my friend’s 12 year and 2 year old sons more attention than her. We had a long talk. I reminded her that she is the most important person to me and that I disagreed that I was giving anyone more attention than her, etc, etc. Sure, I probably could have handled it better, probably by shaking her and telling her to get a grip, but she’s my baby and I have single parent guilt, and since I am her only parent, she needs my attention. Clearly, I’m a sucker. But, seriously, I take her feelings seriously even if I don’t agree. It doesn’t matter if I knew I wasn’t ignoring her, if that was her perception then I feel like I failed at some point during that trip.

Here’s the thing….I like that she’s still my little girl who needs me for support and encouragement, and approval etc. But, I also don’t want her getting all sideways when I talk to other children in her presence.

I talked to my mother about this and she confirmed that I was the exact same way and that I need to relax and enjoy it because one day she won’t care about or ask for my approval. She told me that when she realized I no longer needed her approval it hurt her feelings. I actually think it will make me feel a little proud; I’ll know that I’ve raised a confident young lady who is secure in the decisions she makes based off the foundation I’ve given her.

Alyssa is growing up quickly, she’s almost 13, but she is still very much a little girl. I’ve created an environment that allows her to be a child and child-like for as long as she wants, but I still don’t want her suffering form only-child issues…does that even make sense?

So…were any of you this way with your parent? Do you have children who act this way?

Random, Random, And More Random

2011-03-06T19:07:00.005-06:00

1. I went to an Alpha hosted happy hour last week and had more fun than I expected to have. I met two interesting men as well. One has already gotten on my nerves with his constant calling. The other is so smooth that I know he's trouble. For some reason, I want to get in some trouble with him, though.

2. I'm still working my career plan. I'm trying to make a change by August...things are up in the air, but I know all things work out as they are supposed to.

3. I've decided to run 4 half marathons this year instead of only 2. I want to do one for each season. Winter Check! I now need to find a Spring and Fall race. The VA beach rock n roll half is going to be my summer half. I'm so excited.

4. I start training for my first triathlon this week. I still don't have a definite one chosen, but I know I want to do it in the spring, so I need to start training.

5. My next swim class doesn't start until the end of March....in the meantime, I'll just have to swim alone :(

6. I need a new bike...a road bike. I found one on craigslist for less than $200. I want to look around more, though. Time is ticking.

7. I have strong opinions on child rearing, but I don't push my opinions onto others. I trust that everyone does what they think is best for their children. It's just that sometimes it seems like people do what's best for them and they just try to act like it's good for their kid as well. But, that's none of my business...

8. Girl Friend Trip 2012 is South Africa. I'm already bracing for the impact it's going to have on my purse. Woooo goodness. But, it's going to be spectacular. This year we're headed to Toronto for Caribana. I love my best friends...LOVE!

9. Can you believe it's already March. It will be summer in no time...wow. I can't wait for time to change. When it does, I'm hoping to get in some outdoor evening runs during the week.

10. I finally know exactly how I want my bedroom to look. I found a head and footboard, but it's costly (to me). I'm going to get it, though. Hopefully by the summer.

11. I want a new front door. Do you know how expensive doors are?? I didn't until I started looking for a new one. I was thinking I could find what I was looking for at about $350...NOPE. I'm going to see if I can find a discount door warehouse, lol. I want a wooden/glass door.

12. I have an admission to make. I'm starting to miss living near my mother. She's missing so much with her grand daughter. I also miss my sister like crazy. She's an awesome sister and we grow closer as we grow older.

13. I can't find my flat iron. Who loses a flat iron in their own house. My house isn't messy or dirty, so I really don't understand how something like that gets lost. Alyssa was the last to touch it. I asked her to put it back under my bathroom cabinet. She says she did, but it's been MIA ever since.

14. I hosted a game night on Friday. We had soooo much fun. I'm so competitive and I try to hold it back, but I can't. My team murdered the other team in madgab, taboo, and charades. Can you say, Aretha is the BEST?!?! Go ahead, you can say it!

15. During a break in Alyssa's tournment today, she came over to wear I was just to give me a kiss. Another mom leaned over and said, "I'd pay money for my daughter to still give me kisses." That made me smile. I love mommy/daughter affection.

16. My hair has been fabulous things lately...simply fabulous. Big twist outs are heavy in my rotation these days...I love how loose, big and fluffy it turns out.

That's all...what's random with you?

~ Ciao

Goals For The Month - March 2011

2011-03-03T09:37:00.000-06:00

I forgot to post my goals last month, and I almost forgot this month. But, thanks to Jameil, I remembered.

Soul Betterment: This is more important than anything else on this list, yet it’s the one I fail at consistently. I really need to get it together before something bad happens to teach me a lesson.
1. Go to Bible Study 3 times this month.
2. Write in prayer journal every day.
3. Read bible 4 days per week.

Fitness/Health: This is probably my favorite category these days.
1. Run 15 miles a week
2. Run the Paddy Run 5K
3. Implement new strength training routine 3 days per week
4. Lose 8 pounds

Finances:
1. Attend a financial planning seminar. I have no idea where to look. I guess google will have to be my friend. I’m pretty good at saving, but I need to get more strategic with my long term financial planning. I’m trying to live abroad for a couple years between 2016-2018, so I need to make sure I’m in a good position to do so.
2. I have 1 major credit card and 4 store specific cards. I only use my major credit card every month and 1 store card periodically, and they both get paid in full every month. I’m trying to determine if it will do harm for me to close the ones I never use and probably won’t use. Basically, goal #2 is for me to do some credit score impact research.

Career:
1. Jump start a new major project and wrap up two others.
2. Attend 2 career specific networking events. I attended none in February, bad Aretha.

Community Service:
1. 2 hours of community service this month. My weekends are booked solid with Vball and adventure. But, I will get some service in…I will!

Adventure:
1. Go Ziplining - Deposit is paid and the date is booked…I’m stoked!
2. Finalize plans for skydiving in May!
3. Go on a blind date. Not really sure what I’m thinking…what’s the worse that can happen, right? Lol.

What are you goals for the month?? Do share!

~ Ciao

I'm a Half Marathoner!!!! Thanks Disney :)

2011-03-02T09:38:00.000-06:00

I have gone back in forth in my head about how to begin this post. I’m not going to do it any justice…I know it. To say that the run was magical is an understatement. I had a spectacular time the entire way!

While waiting in my Corral (D) I was getting nervous, but still very excited. I met an expat and chatted it up with her for a bit, and that calmed my nerves…one of the homegirls and I were in the same corral (she actually had to sneak into mine because they had her back farther), so we calmed each other as well. It wasn’t a worried nervousness, more like a “I’m really about to do this” kind of nervousness.

Let me go back for a minute.

My alarm went off at 2:40am on Sunday morning. Although it was so early, I was relieved that it was finally time to get up and get going because I tossed and turned all night. I woke up and my night gown was soaked with sweat. Throughout the night I was panicking because I couldn’t tell whether I was dreaming that my knee was hurting or if it was actually hurting. I was also aware (in my dreams, I guess) that I was very hot and sweaty. But, I remember telling myself that I could not take the covers off of me. It was all very bizarre. So…there I was at 2:40am with a soaked night gown and thoughts of an aching knee.

I got dressed in no time and the nercitedness set in all over again. I just couldn’t believe that after months of training the day had finally come. It seemed so weird.

Then I got caught up in how cute I looked in my tutu…I loved that thing…and it made it through the entire race with me!!

An hour later, we were all dressed and headed out the door for Epcot.

When we got there tutus and tiaras were everywhere. I’ve also never seen so many women in one place. If men were smarter, there would have been more of them than the 600 who ran that race.

Finally it was time for Corral D to take off…the Fairy Godmother said her magic phrase, and the fire works went off and so did we!! We were at the start of our grouping so my stride was normal and comfortable from the beginning. Almost immediately there were bands playing and awesome crowd support.

Not even a full mile into it, my friend had to use the bathroom, and since we had said we’d run it together while waiting for the race to start, I stopped and waited for her. I felt good, my knee felt good, all was right with the world.

Finally, after what seemed like forever we made it to mile 3, and then I had to use the bathroom. I will forever be changed after using a port-o-potty on a race course; on a race course with mostly women, at that. We are the slowest creatures on the planet when it comes to using the bathroom…why?!

After losing about 4 minutes to the port-o-potty, we were off again. There were more crowds cheering, more local school bands playing, and Disney character galore. If I haven’t mentioned, I feed off crowd support. I mean how can you really not put forth your best effort when so many people have gotten out there to cheer you on? Every time we ran through areas thick with spectators and cheerleaders I would wave at them and say thank you as if they came out specifically to support me. It was great!

Finally we reached mile 5…I’ll say those first 5 miles felt like an eternity…I’m not sure why, but they just dragged despite all of the festivities that were going on.

But, after mile 5 the race went by in a flash. In no time we were at mile 6 then 8 then 12, and then I saw the Gospel Choir, which I had read about on some other runner blogs. When I saw them I knew I was at the end….It was like God saying, “You did it, Aretha…and I was with you the whole time.” Talk about amazing…that word doesn’t do it justice, but I don’t know how else to describe it. I had a moment of utter joy…I was running and clapping to the beat of their song all at the same time, and yelling thank you to them and the crowd.

My other moment of pure, unfiltered joy came between the 11.5 and 12 mile mark. We were running downhill and just about to bend a curve when I realized that 11.54 miles was the farthest I had trained. All of sudden my body got heavy and I started crying uncontrollably. I tried to fight back the tears, but I couldn’t, and then I just decided to let it overwhelm me. I was experiencing pure happiness and a sense of serious accomplishment. I was doing something I had never done before…something I had only imagined up to that point. I was about to become a half marathoner! I turned back to look at my friend and tell her once again how amazing we were. I think I said something like, “We are doing this thing. There’s nothing we can’t do.” And, I grabbed her hand and we ran around the curve. I will never forget that moment.

Back to the Gospel Choir….after passing them and rounding the corner I saw a sea of people and up ahead there was a FINISH line. From that point on I ran with my hands in the air motioning between fist pumps and waves to the crowds. I heard someone call my name and it was my friend’s mother, which gave me even more steam…I started yelling with my hands in the air…I almost couldn’t believe that it was almost over…after all those months of training, it had all come down to those last seconds down the stretch to the finish line.

After I finally crossed that line, I gave fist pounds and hand shakes and even some hugs to the volunteers and other runners. I would have jumped to the moon if I could have. I was so hyped. My energy level was so high, you wouldn’t have known that I had just run a half marathon. To say I was having a runner’s high is a major understatement. I was having an overdose. As the guy was putting my medal around my neck, he said, “Congratulations, you just completed a half marathon.” I hugged that man so tight that he started laughing, lol. And then as I took in the crowd, listening to all the yelling and cheers I heard a voice say, “Mommy!” I knew that was my baby…every mother knows what her “mommy” sounds like. It took me a minute to find her face, but sure enough it was her…standing there holding roses…I love that child soooo much! And then I saw my mother, who was just so proud of me. It still makes me feel like a million bucks when she tells me that I make her proud…no matter how old I get, it always will.

My chipped time was 3:09:18; Much longer than I wanted, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I ran that whole race with one of my best friends and we took in all the awesome sights and sounds together. We had fun, we had emotions, and we had accomplishment…together! That course was too fun for me not to enjoy every bit of it.

I have on my race calendar for the VA beach rock n roll half to be my second, but I’ve got the half marathoner fever and I’m on the search for a spring half marathon!!!

I would suggest to all half marathon virgins to make Disney your first. The customer service, crowd support, and volunteers were all amazing. And the expo was GREAT!! It’s pricey, but I would have paid double for the experience I had. It’s true that Disney is the place where dreams come true.

I’m a Half Marathoner!!!

That's a magnet on my car until I can find the metal 13.1 emblem I want!

~ Ciao

3 Days to the Disney Princess Half Marathon

2011-02-24T08:42:00.006-06:00

In 3 days I’ll be crossing the start and finish lines of my very first Half Marathon!! It’s been quite an adventure getting to this point. I started out training pretty slowly because I didn’t want to kill myself having just come off of surgery.

It’s been interesting going from 3 miles to 5 to 8 to 11.5. It’s amazing what the body will do if we only give it some love, attention, and a good push in the right direction. A long time ago if someone had said I was going to run a half marathon I would have probably said something like, “why would I ever do that?” Now, I’d try to encourage everyone I know to lace up their sneakers and start walking then jogging then running. Everything isn’t for everyone, but for me running is so freeing. I don’t run with music…I used to try it, but it’s too distracting. Now, I just run with myself and God. I think about all kinds of things and sometime I don’t think at all – that’s my favorite.

All Day my mind is going at top speeds, I have background music or NPR in my constantly, or I’m in a meeting talking or listening to someone else talk, or I’m constantly checking my emails and FB. On the contrary, while running it’s just me and the sound of my feet hitting pavement and the steady panting of my breath. All of that other stuff becomes so unimportant and undesirable even.

I definitely can’t leave out the health benefits that it provides for me. Running has been a great weight loss tool for me and an energy booster. After running, my body is tired, but my mind is energetic. I get high…I used to think that runner’s high thing was a big farce…It’s really not.

Now, I will admit, this journey to the half hasn’t been all fun and fluffy. I’ve had some issues. My biggest obstacle has been my right knee. I started experiencing some irritation and light pain after Thanksgiving. I had also purchased some new shoes around that time and I simply thought, I needed to get them broken in and all would be well again. Come to find out I have patella tendinitis, which isn’t uncommon in runners. With the work of a Sports chiropractor, the pain has decreased from ouch to a simple annoyance. Some runs are better than others, but overall it’s something I can live with. As my quad muscles continue to develop this issue should subside.

I’ve also struggled with my speed. In the runner’s world I’d likely be considered a turtle runner. I average about a 12 to 12:30 minute mile these days, which I’m going to blame on my knee. And, lack of adequate speed work. I did speed work every now and then, but not nearly as consistently as I should have.

I’ve had some other struggles, too, but they aren’t major enough for me to remember at this point.

There have been days where I just didn’t feel like going for a run, but I went because I remember how good I feel while I’m doing and after I’ve mastered whatever mileage I’ve set out to hit.

And, the community of runner’s is huge, and with that has come wonderful support. Everyone has advice, some good, some just not good for me. But, overall, the community of runner’s that I’ve tapped into has been helpful in genuine in the effort to support a newbie like me.

Getting to this point is breathtaking when I really think about it. This isn’t just about running for me, it’s about taking control. I’ve always be a sort of control freak when it came to everything in my life except my health and fitness. That’s all changed and to see how dramatically different my lifestyle is…for the better…well, that’s just Wow, there are no words to describe it.

My goal for this Princess Half Marathon is to finish! Period. Plain and simple. I previously had a goal time, but this race is meant to be fun and fun is what I’m going to have. I’m going to take in the crowds, the Disney characters, and the scenery. I want to enjoy it from start to finish and still have a smile on my face as I cross the finish line. As competitive as I am, this race is about more than a race…it’s a major milestone in my new lifestyle.

That’s a picture of my Race Day outfit – I’m calling it Run Girl, lol. My black shirt says Princess on it will glittery letters and the shirt underneath is a purple wicking shirt. Oh, and those little packets sticking up from my tutu are packs of GU. I found a spi belt with gu loops...oh yeah!!!

And, I LOVE my tutu...it's so cute and fluffy and cute!!! My camera sucks, so I'll tell you the colors...deep purple, light purple, and light blue...the purple matches my wicking shirt, and the blue matches my shoes.

I think I’m going to purchase a cap at the expo…Sweat pours from my head and down my face when I run, so I need to have something that will catch all of that.

Ok, that's it for now.

Do you have a big race coming up?? If so, where/when/details please? If not, Why not? It's a great motivator!

~ Ciao

Weight Loss Wednesday - Volume 29

2011-02-23T06:48:00.004-06:00

That's right....you're eyes are not deceiving you, no they're not. That is definitely a SEVEN after the One! Your girl is in the 170s, baby!!!!! Whew...wasn't that quite a journey through the 180s?? Thanks for sticking with me. Now, brace yourself for the ride through these 170s because I don't plan on being here long :)

I woke up yesterday and weighed myself and I just about did a back flip off the scale. I was hoping it wasn't a fluke and this morning it was still there!!! I haven't been in the 170s since I was 18 years old. Can you believe that??

I'm becoming more and more excited about my healthy lifestyle every time I meet a fitness or weight loss goal. Man oh Man I'm so proud of myself today that I don't know how to act!

Here are the current stats:

Starting weight: 218.5 lbs

Current weight: 179.2 lbs

Total loss to-date: 39.3 lbs

That's nuts...crazy nuts!!! 39.3 pounds gone off my body....that's really something. I was looking at pictures of myself from last July when the homegirls and I were on vacay in the DR. And I compared it to a picture of me from this weekend. I can see a huge difference...HUGE!

This journey to live healthier and shed pounds has not been a cake walk, but it is very much worth it. I have taken control of my health. I WILL not be plagued by disease that can be avoided. What I can't control, I just can't control...but I won't just sit by and watch my health go down the tube.

The fact that my health is my motivation and not the vanity of "looking good", I know I will maintain this lifestyle I've adopted forever. Not that looking good doesn't make you feel good, but the goal is to look good on the inside. I trying to be around to meet my grandchildrens children :).

Here are some pics that I was comparing

This picture was taken in July 2010 @ 218.5lbs

This picture was taken in February 2011 @ 180lbs

Well, that's it! How is your journey going? If you're struggling to to stay on track, try a new approach until you find one that makes you happy. If you just can't find your happy in being healthy, bear and grunt it....push through and once you start feeling better inside, you're happy in healthiness will surely come.

~ Ciao

In Memoriam

2011-02-22T11:44:00.006-06:00

I woke up this morning knowing that things would never be the same after today. I tossed and turned all night thinking about it. It's one thing to mentally prepare yourself for something and it's another to actually have it happen.

Any kind of loss or relinquishment is difficult. Especially if the person or thing you're giving up or losing is dear and near to your heart. Just imagine all the best parts of your life being shared with someone or something and then, all of a sudden they aren't there anymore. No matter how much you know that the future will be fine (great even), you can't help but wonder why you can't go into that future with the one who has been there through so much. Through the ups and downs. The one who knows your touch. The one who speaks a language that only you can understand.

Several years ago on Valentine's Day it came into my life. It was really love at first sight for me. I knew that I would do whatever it took to get it. It was there as I finished college ; moved to DC and put it through a harsh climate it had never experienced, and still it loved me and showed it. It was always there with me on long road trips, no matter the terrain. The first time we went through serious snow together up in Tahoe was amazing. I was not let down. It wore those chains like a champ and made the trip safe and fun.

People would talk about our relationship and try to tell me that I was better than that. That I deserved more. As if they could even begin to understand what we share. They tried to tell me that I had been hanging on for too long. But, despite all their bad mouthing, we endured. Much longer than the haters wanted or predicted.

It even survived 4 beatings and a couple of violations, but still did not waver in its support for me. Through it all...the freezing cold, the sweltering heat, the numerous interstate trips, the abuse from violators, the tears I cried into its arms, the joy I jumped for in its lap, my terrible singing, and even that one time the ex and I got a little frisky...through all of that, the Green Machine has never let me down.

And, that's why I sadly report that after much prayer and research I have decided to let her go. I remember back in 2009 when she turned 10, I started praying and asking God to please let her last me until 2011. He did just that. And, while she still works, we had a scare last week that let me know her old age and past lifestyle are catching up to her. My poor baby is in her last days, and so she understands and supports me in moving on to something that can be there for me as consistently as she has been over the years.

Bye, Bye Green Machine! You will be missed but not forgotten. Your memory will live on in my heart :)

While much of this is written to be funny, I seriously am sad that I am letting my car go. It has been all over the country with me and really, really been reliable through all of the mistreatment I bestowed upon it. I literally believe that it would not have lasted so long if it had another owner. That car loved me and I think it knew just how much I needed it all those years. Have you ever been really connected to your car?

P.S. I'll introduce the newest love of my life to you all in another post.

~ Ciao

Weight Loss Wednesday - Volumes 27 & 28

2011-02-16T08:39:00.003-06:00

I'm so happy today! Yesterday I was feeling mischievous...today I just feel giddy...not sure why...it doesn't matter...no reason needed to feel like a school girl, lol.

On to weight related matters. During week 27 I gained 1.5 pounds. I assumed it was related to the start of my period because taking full responsibility would have been too difficult to my ego, lol. Just kidding.

So this morning - week 28, I weighed in at 181 on the dot! Which means I lost 1.4 pounds of that period weight (that sounds nasty, lol).

I'm finding it difficult to explain just how frustrated I am about still being in the 180s. However, I can tell you how happy I am to still be out of the 190s and 200s!!!!

I'm considering a weight loss challenge for the month of March that will involve my blog family who wants to participate. I need to kick it up a few notches. I'll admit that I haven't evaluated what I'm doing wrong as much as I need to. I must be making some terrible mistakes to still be at this stand still.

On the bright side, because there is always a bright side. I feel so dang healthy. How can I describe it??? My body feels clean on the inside. Does that make sense? I just feel healthy and strong!

Other successes overall:
- I have a wonderful set of eating habits. I still remember back to the first 3 weeks of my lifestyle change back in August and just how difficult it was to get rid of all that processed food I was eating. It was hard. But, fast forward 6 months and I feel great and I'm thankful for making that change. I still love food, but I love me more!

- Exercising is a natural part of my life. It's not a chore, it's a given. Sure there are times I don't want to hit the streets for a run or head to the gym, but I still get up and go. There is no second guessing it, there is no talking myself out of it like I once I did. I get it done.

- Alyssa has had the benefit of seeing me transform bad habits into good ones. She sees my commitment to healthy living and while she's still a kid, with all those kid influences around her, without even realizing it, she has picked up some of my same habits.

Over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to really analyze what I'm doing differently than before, so I can reconfigure my plan in order to hit my weight loss and body fat goal.

I feel re-energized! A plateau will not beat me...I will conquer this thing and then laugh in it's face!

So....how is your weight loss/healthy living/fitness going? Do you have any suggestions for breaking through a plateau?

~ Ciao

Happy LOVE Day!

2011-02-14T08:48:00.001-06:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

GIVE SOMEBODY A HUG!!!

HAVE A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE!!!

SPREAD SOME CHEER AND LOVE!!!

Go Friday!

2011-02-11T09:34:00.000-06:00

I’m learning more and more that I’m great with big things, but when it comes to the small, minor details of something, I’m not so good. Not bad, just not so good. Ok, maybe sometimes I’m even bad at it. I just feel like small things should be taken care of by someone else or just magically happen without my time, input, or effort. I kinda feel like a jerk saying that, but I mean 100% of it.

My date with the speed dating guy went well, but he looked different. First of all, I couldn’t remember which one he was, but even when I saw him, I didn’t remember him looking exactly like that. It was very weird, lol. Anyway, the conversation was great and he seems nice, but I’m not attracted to him at all. Not even a little bit. Looks aren’t a big deal to me, but I have to be happy looking at a guy. I’m going to give it another shot, just to make sure…95% of dating is such a big F-ing waste of time…sigh.

I gained 1.5 pounds when I stepped on the scale Wednesday, which reminds me that I need to draft a Wednesday Weight loss post. I’m going to assume this has something to do with my period also starting on Wednesday.

I’ve decided I’m buying a new car in July or August this year. This is a major step for me. I feel like it’s almost a bigger deal than buying a house. I’ve already started my research and I figure it will take me a good 5 months to make an informed decision. I have no idea what kind of car I want, but I guess I’ll figure that out at some point as well.

I’m starting to dislike television as much as I dislike the radio.

Tomorrow Alyssa and I are running another 5k together…It’s a valentines race…wooohooo! She is hoping she can set a PR that can be maintained for her Disney 5k race in a couple of weeks. I’m just hoping to have fun before my long run this Sunday. Speaking of long run on Sunday…this is my last Sunday of looong miles before the big race! I’m nercited (that’s nervous and excited, LOL).

My granny and mother are not talking to each. I understand where my mother is coming from, and I’m slightly upset with my granny for her part in the whole thing. However, a big part of me wants my mother to just let it go and end this foolery. I’m not saying they need to be best friends, but not talking for over 2 months is just stupid. They both try slick ways of bringing up the other, but I won’t fuel their fires.

I’m so happy that it’s Friday!! I feel good, I look great, and I’m ready to wreak havoc on the weekend…whoop whoop!!!

~ Ciao

Lungs

2011-02-08T13:00:00.004-06:00

Before today, the last time I swam laps in a pool was over a year ago...maybe two. Even then I was only messing around...swimming a couple laps, not focusing on form, switching styles mid-way, etc...really just playing around in the water.

Well, this morning I started my master swimming class. At the start, the instructor had us all pick a lane and he wanted us to swim 4 laps (2 up and back) to assess our stroke and skill level. At first, it was everything I remembered. Ah...the wet, but warming water all over me; the tight, annoying swim cap, that I always want to rip off so my hair can get a piece of the water action too; my cupped hands cutting through the water...

And THEN....I remembered my lungs. My poor, underutilized lungs. I thought running would have expanded them by now...NOPE! Well they have, but not enough for swimming. My lungs have never wanted me to swim too many laps because I don't breathe properly when swimming. By the time I was on my 3rd lap, I wanted to flip over and float. But, it was the first day of class and I couldn't go out like that. So, what did I do...I powered through...very slooooowwwwwlllllyyyyy.

I was so tired after we did those laps, that I was hoping the hour was up and it was time to go back home. Nope...it wasn't. We did get a break while he explained to us what he saw and what some of our individual goals should be for the session. By the end of class I was worn out, but feeling energized at the same time. It was like my body wanted to collapse on the floor, but my mind was jumping up and down doing cartwheels with excitement.

Here's one thing I do know...as soon as my lungs start acting right in the water, I'm going to be a super champion with my running. If I can steady my breathing and use all of my lungs and not just 10%, I think my speed and endurance will surely improve on the pavement. I'm excited!!!

Why I'm starting to swim...the right way? I have plans to complete my first triathlon this year, and while I can run and bike, I had not properly swam in a hot minute. And, swimming is a great crossing training exercise to running.
I may end up changing the tri that I put on my race calendar. I'm a little concerned with doing an open water swim as my first time event. So, my awesome super athlete coworker is going to find one for me that has the swim indoors.

I'm going to start working on logging some cycling miles outdoors after my Half! I'm slightly nervous about cycling on the street...ok, I'm very nervous...but I have to train!

Side note: My arms and thighs still ache from rock climbing on Saturday. I wanna go back this weekend, though...lol!

So...what's up with you all this Tuesday afternoon??

~ Ciao

Happy Monday!

2011-02-07T12:38:00.000-06:00

I feel absolutely great today! Like, big things are about to happen! I don't know of any big things on the horizon, but the air feels like something awesome is brewing. Do you ever get that feeling?

I'm so happy that the bad weather is behind us, but that we still have chilly temperatures!

I watched the superbowl, and I thought it was a decent game. Not great, but decent. And since the Eagles weren't playing, I didn't give a hoot who won. My favorite commercial was the one with the little boy dressed as the star wars character. I loved when he motioned at the car and it turned on (his dad pressed the remote start button from inside the house). You could tell the little boy was surprised...too cute. I also really liked the second emin.em Commerical.

I have a first date tonight with one of the speed dating guys. Our phone conversations have been good. I'm realizing more and more that I don't like talking on the phone, though. Is that an old person thing? I remember when I was a little girl, I always wanted to be on the phone, and I would wonder why my mother didn't talk much. I like in person communication!

Sometimes I can be soooo lazy. Example: I'm so hungry right now, but I don't feel like walking to the office kitchen and warming up my food. Now that's terrible. Sometimes when I'm at work I may need to get something from my bookshelf, which is like 5 feet from my desk. Well, there are times I won't get up because I know that I'll have to pee really bad if I stand...because the whole time I'll be sitting holding it. (it's easy to hold your bladder while sitting...not so much when standing, lol). Pure laziness!

This UV gel nail polish is still holding up. I cannot believe this...really, I can't. There's not a dent, ding nor chip anywhere in sight. There is lots of white space at the bottom of my nail bed, though, from growth. Today marks 7 whole days!

We are one week away from valentine's day and I have bought Alyssa, my sister or mother anything. I'm going to try really hard to get something in the mail by thursday.

I started writing this post this morning...and the day has been great so far, and I think this trend will continue :)

Happy Monday!!!

Long Run Sunday!

2011-02-06T13:34:00.004-06:00

It's Sunday, which means it's long run day. I had intended to do 11 miles, but I got to 10.27 before I decided that was enough. I'm not really sure why, though. I wasn't worn out and my knee was feeling brand spanking new today. I just looked down and literally said, that's enough. And, from there I started my 5 minute cool down.

I drove my outdoor running route to check it out and make sure all the snow and ice had melted away. There was several spots that had not cleared, so I had to run on the dreadmill today. Not ideal conditions, but I feel good about getting it in.

Next Sunday I'm shooting for 11.5 miles! That will be my longest run before I actually run the half. I'm going to taper for the last two weeks.

I got my tutu in the mail yesterday...It's so cute! Oh, and very poofy, but still soooo cute! Once I get my shirt and tiara hat, I'll take a pic to show you all.

------------------

In addition to my 10.27 miles today, I decided to get some weights in since I was already at the gym. My arms were already a little sore from Rock climbing yesterday, so let's just say lifting didn't go as long or strong as planned, lol. But, I got some in...so that's all that counts, right??

Speaking of rock climbing...indoor rock climbing is soooo fun! If you've never done it, you should definitely go check it out. There are so many different walls to choose from. I made it to the top of all the walls I climbed with the exception of one. The wall was at a 45 degree angle...good Lawd that wall was hard on my abs, which by the way are also sore today. I tried to conquer that wall 6 times before I finally said forget it.

Well, that's it for now...I'm still high off of today's pain free run!

Any fitness any your weekend?? Tell me about it!

~ Ciao

Snow Girl

2011-02-04T15:59:00.004-06:00

Happy Snow Friday!!! Alyssa and I had a blast making a snowgirl. We're off for snow angels next!!

~ Ciao

Wednesday Weightloss - Volumes 25 & 26: Friday Edition

2011-02-04T10:17:00.003-06:00

It's been TWENTY SIX weeks since I started tracking my weightloss on the blog. That is a half year! Wowsers.

Well, I'm now down to 180.9....not much of a difference from two weeks ago, but still progress. I'm so close to the 170s that I can taste it. Why won't my body just take me there already...sigh.

I don't have any challenges or successes to report this week. Everything is pretty much on auto pilot, which in itself may be the challenge and reason I'm making teeny tiny progress. After my race, I think I'll really get focused on resetting my caloric intake and workouts that help the pounds melt off. Right now, I'm so focused on running.

Ok...here are the stats:

Current weight: 180.9
Total loss to date: 37.6

How is your weightloss or healthy living journey going???

~ Ciao

A Collection of Randoms...

2011-02-03T15:14:00.001-06:00

over the past week.

1. How did I just find out about UV gel nail polish? I had heard of gel nails, but I thought that was some alternative to acrylic fake nails. I don’t do fake nails, so I never asked about it. Anyway, I ran right out to my nail person and got the gel polish on Monday. This is the most resilient polish ever! Absolutely no chipping or denting. Let me tell you, I almost always have some sort of chip within the first 2 days, and then dents and dings everyday thereafter. I’m hooked even though this means my manicures just went from $12 to $32.

2. We’ve been iced-in since Monday night. I don’t like sitting around at home, and there isn’t much I needed to do around the house, so it got boring very quickly. Today I escaped for a bit, but not long enough. It’s a beast outside.

3. Sitting at home did put the fire under my butt to go ahead and file my taxes early this year instead of waiting to the end like normal. This was the first year my deduction exceeded the general deduction amount…I’m such a grown up now, lol.

4. Alyssa is not happy about school being canceled for 3 days in a row. She gets just as restless as me. There are only so many times we can play scrabble, dance in our soul train line, and watch a movie. She’s most upset that they will have to makeup these days, though.

5. I’m going indoor rock climbing this Saturday – one time for adventure!!! Unless they decide to keep the city shut down again. I’m supposed to go to a big superbowl watching party, but I don’t want to. I actually want to stay as far away from all superbowl related activities.

6. So, the vball dad and I have been noticed…our flirting, that is. One of the moms asked if we were interested in each other because “everyone” could tell we had “magnetic chemistry.” Nosey much? And, who is everyone?

7. Sometimes Ddad makes me crazy. He knows Alyssa and I will be in Orlando at the end of the month, and he plans to come watch her race (a 5k), which is a day before mine. Then, he wants to take her back to our hometown until Monday morning. Um….No! I explained that she wants to be at my race also, and that if he wants her to go home with him, he needs to send a plane ticket for another weekend. He thinks I’m being ridiculous, I think he can kiss it.

8. Alyssa has a vball tourney in Houston next month and both my mother and Ddad are coming. Please wish me luck that they both don’t drive me nuts. I can handle either of them on their own, but together, (along with Alyssa – who is the universe around which their lives revolve when they are around her) they’ve been known to work a nerve or three.

9. There was an Asian guy at my sports chiro’s office on Monday. While waiting, we were chatting it up and about 15 minutes into the conversation he asked, “What’s your type?” I was caught off guard and unsure what he was talking about, so I asked what he meant. His answer: “I guess that means you’re not into Asian men.”

10. I love the cold; have I mentioned that lately? I just don’t appreciate all that ice on the ground. I also love the snow, and I hear that we’re getting some more of it tonight…can you say Friday morning snow angel?? Whooohooo!

11. My hair is the bomb. There I said it. I try to be all modest and stuff, but who am I fooling, there’s no need. My hair is magical. It looks good whether I wash and go; flat iron it; twist out; Bantu knot it; slick it back in a bun or do a puffy ponytail. I love my hair! I’m about ready to super duper jet black again….oh it’s about to be on and poppin’ on my head!

12. I’ve only been to the gym once this week…blasted iced roads. But I let J. Michaels beat me up at home last night…I almost forgot how good of a workout she is.

What’s going on with you all.

P.S. I’m due for a Wednesday weightloss double edition.

~ Ciao

In Review

2011-01-31T10:43:00.001-06:00

January went by in a flash. It was a great month for me, but not without some bumps along the way.

I had some unexpected financial payouts. They were all related to running and swimming. Being athletic can get costly. I’ve decided to build a new line item into my budget. I’ll have to really sit down and think about how much I am willing to spend over the next 11 months. I know that some months will be less expensive than others…I just need to evenly disperse the costs, so I don’t feel the impact. Because of my athletic related costs, I missed my goal of saving $1100 this month. I missed it by about $500 to be exact. I’m not too concerned about this, though.

I also had to sit out running for a week because of knee issues, so I didn’t exactly meet my 20 miles per week goal. The other weeks I logged between 15-20 miles. I’ll have plenty of time to make up those twenty miles throughout the year.

I started off strong with my bible reading and somewhere around week 3 I started slipping, and I’m sure you can imagine how I finished the month….not good. I did write in my prayer journal most day, though. I’m vowing to do better in February.

On the health and fitness: I didn’t lose 10 pounds. I’m not sure why my weight loss has slowed to snail’s pace, but I’m trying different things to break through this terrible, terrible, plateau.

Finances: I did reassess and modify my budget. Now, I have to go back and put in the athletics line item, and then it should be complete for at least the rest of the quarter, lol.

Career: I accomplished everything on my list for this one. There are some moving parts, and I think my timeline may be right on schedule. I’m crossing my fingers and toes.

Community Service: Outside of short outing with my teen mom, I didn’t do any type of community service this month. Which also means, I didn’t get Alyssa signed up like I had planned. Volleyball kept us busy for 3 weekends this month.

Adventure: I did go speed dating. I’ve continued conversations with one guy, but we haven’t gone out. I haven’t made it a top priority.

Well, that’s it…for now. I guess I’ll be back with my February goals.

~ Ciao

Looking Back On It...

2011-01-28T10:51:00.001-06:00

I still remember the day I got my acceptance letter from American University to attend grad school. I was living in Tallahassee on my way back to my apartment with my daughter and my sister in the car. I stopped at the community mailboxes first to get the mail. When I pulled the stack out, I had a habit of going through it to see what I actually wanted to take with me, and what junk mail I’d just leave in the box. When I pulled the envelope out with AU’s logo on it, my heart dropped. I was so nervous. I started making some kind of strange noise and moving about. My sister asked what was wrong and I told her that the letter was from AU. Everyone knew that was my first choice school. I so badly wanted to go there because their MPA program was ranked one of the top 10 in the country and ever since visiting DC a couple years before, I knew I had to live in that city.

So, I carried on my nervous dance for another 60 seconds before my sister finally told me to open the letter. I slowly tore the envelope open, and then carefully opened the letter as if it were going to break. I immediately saw the word congratulations and then I began to read it out loud. Alyssa was only seven at the time, but even then she knew how happy it made me and she was jumping up and down in the backseat of the car and smiling all excitedly like it was Christmas.

A few months later I packed up and headed out. Choosing AU was one of the best personal decisions I’ve made. I learned so much while I was there, I met wonderful people who I still love and keep in touch with. And, career wise, while going to AU, I had a wonderful work experience in DC politics…most definitely two of the best years of my working life so far.

When it came time for me to start thinking about graduate schools, I had some people in my ear trying to tell me to stay in Tallahassee and go to Florida State or stay at FAMU. That would have been easier, no doubt, but I wasn’t concerned with easy, I was concerned with the best. I had people telling me about online programs because it would be easier for me as a mother. I didn’t think twice about any of those things. I thought about establishing the best foundation for my career and my daughter. I knew it would be tough sacrificing valuable mommy/daughter time and moments for 2 years, and although I had many tearful nights questioning myself as a parent during that period, looking back on it, I don’t regret it for a minute. The things I learned academically, professionally, and personally during that time period could not have been replicated anywhere else.

As much as I pray about decisions, draw up detailed plans to get to where I want to be (and work the plans), sometimes I still have heartburn over what my decisions mean for the big picture. As I’ve said before, I’m very strategic, or I try to be, about my life and how I want it to go. It sometimes takes me a while to see that while the decision may have been uncomfortable while I was in it, it was a great move for the master plan that’s at work.

I still have to remind myself that I can’t get so caught up in the little things because it will take my energy and focus from what’s really important. I also constantly tell myself that an easy route is almost never the best route. Whenever people try to tell me something is “easier” this way or that way, I’m skeptical. Going for the best isn’t going to ruin your family; it’s not going to scar your kids; most times it will be tougher, but each time it will be worth it.

~ Ciao

ONE MONTH TO GO!!!

2011-01-27T13:50:00.001-06:00

In exactly one month from today, I’ll be at Disney World laced up and ready to run my first half marathon! I can’t believe it’s so close. My emotions go from nervous to overly confident back to nervous more times than I can count.

The best part of all of this is that I get to run this race (or at least start it) with two of my best friends. The third heffa is not going to run with us, she claims to be allergic to running or even attempting to try. But, she’ll be there cheering us on from the side lines, so that’s cool.

The day before the half, Alyssa is running the Disney 5k. This will be her second 5k and she has plans to set a new PR. Her mile has dropped a bit over the past two months, though. However, she is determined to maintain a 7:50 minute mile. I can only dream of running that fast, for that long. I’m excited to be waiting for her at the finish line again. She seems to be most excited about the tshirt. This girl wants to run every race with me just so she can collect a t-shirt. I don’t get it, but whatev. This time not only will she get a shirt, but she’ll also be getting a finisher’s medal…woohooo for hardware!

Lessons to apply:

I’ve been training for months now, and I learn something new everytime I go out for a race, or while I’m on my long runs. I’ve even learned some great things from the running magazines, blogs, and real life runners I come across. Some things I’ve had to try several times in different ways before I found what works best for me. Other things I’ve only tried once and will never attempt again. Here are some of the things I’ll be sure to do on race day.

1. My pre race meal will be a ½ cup oatmeal and ½ banana. I’ve played around with different pre race meals on my long run days and this one gives me the right amount of steam without weighing me down.

2. I won’t forget the advil. My knee is better but not 100%. I’ll definitely be popping a couple pills to ward off any inflammation that may try to occur.

3. I finally found some gu that I like and it actually gave me the energy boost I needed. I’ll be gu-ing 15 minutes before the race and then every 45 minutes thereafter.

4. I will not be carrying my water bottle waist strap. After running anymore than 5 miles that things begins to feel like a 20 pound brick around my waist, and the bottle sits in the small of my back, which gets annoying after 2 miles. I’m going to get a spi belt for my gu and call it a day. I’ll be hitting up the water stations on the route.

5. Be easy on inclines. I have a tendency to want to sprint up hills just to get it over with, but that leads to a quick burn out once I get to the top usually resulting in a 30 second walk break. What I’ve discovered is that if I slow my pace by about 10-15 seconds, I can make it up the hill and keep pushing once I get to the top.

6. Remind myself that I’m not racing anyone but myself. During races I get competitive and fixated on someone who I consider to look slower or more out of shape than me, and I vow that they will never pass me. It’s silly, I know. And, that’s why I must stop it. I’m going to focus on MY race.

7. No turning around looking behind me. I did a turn around last Sunday during my long run and I can’t even explain how much energy that took out of me. I will look straight ahead or to the side, but never ever behind me, lol.

8. Wear disposable clothing. The race begins at 5:30am, but we will likely be out there by 4am to get in our corrals and ensure we’re not running late. Given that, it will be nippy. I need to be comfortable and cozy, but I also need to be able to throw those clothes on the side of the road while I’m running once I get warmed up.

9. Have FUN! I’m not training for nothing…I’m going to have a blast running like a princess!

I had some more lessons, but that’s all I can remember for now. This isn’t the last time I’ll be talking about my upcoming race, so I have plenty of time to share my plan.

~ Ciao

Blurbs

2011-01-24T17:10:00.001-06:00

I signed up for a Master Swim Class that starts next week. I learned how to swim when I was 8, and I still know how. The thing is I need to perfect my form and work on speed. I’m doing my first triathlon this year and I don’t want to be in the water long enough to turn into a prune…in and out, baby…in and out, lol! Now I just have to find a swim cap that will contain my large and fluffy tresses.

My social life is not what it used to be. I’m fixing that pronto.

I found the perfect tutu for my Princess Race. It’s sooooo cute! I can’t wait until it arrives! Now I just need a cute shirt and I’m set! I’m going to wear the tutu over my running tights and whatever cute shirt I find will go over my long sleeve wicking shirt. I can’t wait to show you all the finished product.

Sometimes I’m a terrible friend when it comes to calling and or returning calls. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my friends. I really, really do. I love them sooooooo much. I’m just bad sometimes. I'm glad they love me anyway.

A dad of one of Alyssa’s vball team mates flirts with me…HARD. It’s not a bad flirt, it’s just so obvious. And, it may or may not be obvious that I’m flirting back. He’s cute (and funny), but it seems kinda weird for us to be carrying on. His ex-wife is a doll….she doesn’t make it to many games or practices, but when she does she gravitates to me and we chat it up. They’ve been divorced for 7 years (Both of them, at different times, volunteered that info, I didn’t ask.).

I’ve discovered that I shouldn’t wear heels the day after my long run…not in these high numbers anyway. Like I said earlier, 10 miles ain’t no joke. I’ve never gone that far and I think my legs are in shock, lol. Today, stepping off a curb required much thought and strategy.

Today a friend asked if I had to choose from one of my exes, which of them would I date again or want to give it one more shot with. My answer: NONE of them. She couldn’t believe my answer given some of the history she knows about my exes. She thought for sure she knew the one I’d pick. This led to a conversation about how much I feel I’ve grown. And, how messed up I used to be. It’s funny how sometimes you think the world isn’t going to turn right if you aren’t with a certain person, and then one day you realize it wouldn’t be right if you were with them. As I like to say, Thank God for growth.

I wasn’t really feeling work today, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been a great day! Tomorrow will be more productive, though…I promise!

~ Ciao

Vball, Running, and Hair

2011-01-24T08:29:00.005-06:00

I had a great weekend! It was a volleyball weekend. While the tournaments are super fun and exciting, they drain almost all of my energy. By the time we get home Alyssa barely manages to eat before she is knocked out.

They placed second in their age group this time, so that was really awesome!

I also got my long run in. I hit the 10 mile mark. OMG…ten miles ain’t no joke. No.joke.at.all. But, I told myself it was time to run and run hard. My knee is getting better as the days go by, so I need to make sure that I step it up. I finished strong, but I not without taking note of a few things that I need to remember for race day. (I’ll probably do a “Lesson from the Pavement” post this week to recap).

On Saturday, I got in a great workout at the gym. I call it Cardio blitz, lol. I did an hour on the cross ramp (similar to an elliptical, but a much better workout, imo), 30 minutes on the bike and then ab work. I was sweating like a pig, but I needed it. I missed my Friday workout and for some reason I was just feeling extra fat...I hadn't been eating badly...I just felt blob-ish, and that workout made that feeling disappear.

I also decided to try a new hairstyle on Saturday. I’m sure you all know tra.cee el.lis ros.s..right?? If you don’t she was one of the stars of the show “girlfriends” and she’s also Di.ana Ros.s’ daughter. Anyway, to say I’m in love with her hair is an understatement. Her curls, before she started wearing them much looser, remind me of my hair. I used to frown whenever she did the Grecian look, but it has grown on me, probably because I’ve seen no one pull it off as good as she does. So, on Saturday I decided to try the Grecian braids with my own twist to it. Basically, the difference was that I left some hair out and let it fall to the side. Here are some pictures of the style - on the way to the vball tourney!

I'm going to keep playing with this style because I loved the way it turned out, especially for my first attempt. Next time I'm not going to leave any hair out. And the next time I flat iron my hair, I'm going to try just one braid loosely falling to the side in the front.

This is going to be an amazing week…I can feel it! Happy Monday!

~ Ciao

Noticed

2011-01-21T11:33:00.003-06:00

It’s the time of year again where my workplace hosts a Live Healthy 100 day challenge. Employees form teams (with funny names) and log weightloss and hours of activity.

At the kickoff, I saw several people that I haven’t seen in months and they all commented on how different I looked. In the beginning, I liked that people were noticing my weight loss because I couldn’t really tell…so knowing that other people saw a difference let me know that I was in fact making some visible progress. Now, it just seems kind of embarrassing. One after another, people kept coming up to me asking what I was doing and how much weight had I lost. I was happy to tell them what I was doing differently, but just a little shy about telling them how much I had lost. I don’t know why…ok, I actually do know.

So, here’s the thing. Although, I’ve lost 36.8 pounds (in great places I might add, lol), I still have a long way to go and I still see myself as fat. Let’s be clear, seeing myself as fat doesn’t mean I don’t think I look good (even when I was really fat I still thought I was hott), it means I don’t see myself as totally healthy. The thing is when I look at pictures of myself back 36.8 pounds ago, I can’t believe I let that much weight get on me. My face was being taken over by fat, my stomach, arms, and thighs were much bigger than they should have been for a woman standing at 5’7. So, it’s like I don’t want people to know that I’ve lost nearly 40 pounds because it makes me feel even worse for getting to a place where I actually had that much weight to lose. Not to mention, I still need to lose more.

Yes, yes I am very proud of myself for getting so many pounds off. And, I do think it’s a story worth telling, so that other people, especially women will understand that they can make a change in their health whenever they get serious. I just don’t like talking about it at work.

After about the fourth person, I just said, “I’ve lost a few pounds…no biggie.” I tried to get everyone to focus on the changes I’ve made (eating/fitness) and not so much what I look like or how much weight I’ve lost.

It’s different reporting here for you all. Here is where I made a public commitment to take care of myself – body and health. This is where I hold myself accountable and track progress. This is where I celebrate the successes of my weight loss journey and shamefully admit my challenges. This is my online journal.

Does any of that make sense?

~Ciao

Other Stuff

2011-01-20T11:12:00.000-06:00

I think I’m going to add a south Florida race to my running calendar this year. I have a friend down there who is running a half this month, and if the timing works out, we’ll run one together in the summer. [it's going to be hot...but fun? I hope]

I’ve finally finished the wrecking crew and it makes me remember how much I like Thom.as Fra.nk as an author and as a political thinker. I’m now on a mission to stalk his site until they post his 2011 lecture schedule. Please, please, let him come to Dallas!

I’ve started my Portuguese lessons. It’s such a beautiful language. When I lived in Orlando, I worked with a group of girls from Brazil and I loved when they would try to teach me the language. Before then I don’t think I had ever heard it…as a matter of fact I had no idea Portuguese was the language of Brazilians (don’t tell anyone…I was young and foolish, lol).

GFTrip 2011 will be taking place in Toronto!! We’ll be there for Caribana and I’m so excited. I’m more excited about Toronto than I am about the festival. I’m not a fan of reggae, calypso, or island music period. It’s very redundant to me, but anyway. I’ve never been to Canada, and I hear Toronto is a grand city, so if it will make my homies happy to hear reggae, I’ll endure so that I can enjoy the Canadian city and what it has to offer, lol. If any of you have gone there, make sure to tell me some things that should be on our “must do” list.

I don’t mind nosey people. I mind nosey people who try to act like they aren’t nosey. Every time these type of people talk to me, I know the conversation is only about what information they can get out of me and nothing about being genuinely interested.

Alyssa has been invited to a coed birthday party. This is a first. The girl having the party is the friend she talks to the most. I know the girl’s parents and the girl and I feel comfortable letting Alyssa attend. However, it’s my plan to go to the party as well. I’m not a fan of dropping my kid off at places (yep, I’m that mom). So I told Alyssa last night that we may be a little late to the party because I have an appointment that day. In her shocked voice she asked if I was planning on staying. I really don’t understand why she acts so brand new sometimes. She already knows I’m staying…I stay at every birthday party, why would this one be different.

There is a new farm market near me that sells unprocessed meats directly from a farm within the City. I’m going to purchase some chicken today….I hope it tastes yummy. I had straight from the farm steaks once and it tasted “different.” Not bad, just different. I’ll be sure to let you all know how it works out!

~ Ciao

According To Me - Broadcast Television

2011-01-20T09:19:00.001-06:00

As liberal as I am, I would put the conservative smack down on the FCC if I ruled the world. The level of inappropriateness that they allow on broadcast television never ceases to make my mouth drop open. Alyssa generally isn’t allowed to watch television during the school week. Most evenings if she’s helping me cook, she sees and hears what’s going on on MSNBC or CNN because that’s what I watch while cooking. And, I run the risk of what she may be exposed to because its cable news…but I take my chances, lol.

Well last night she didn’t have much going on by way of homework or studying, so she heard that American idol was premiering and she asked if she could watch until 8:30. It’s a singing competition…no biggie, right. Well, the show was fine, it was the commercials…one in particular. I don’t know the demographics of the audience that typically watches America.n Id.ol, but I’m sure there is a huge following between the ages of 10 and 18. Why then would the producers/promoters/whatever of the new Asht.on Kutc.her movie think it was appropriate to advertise during that time slot. The movie is about two people agreeing to be sex buddies. During the commercial the female lead of the movie (I don’t know her name) says something to the effect of “Do you want to have sex with no strings attached.” Really? That’s what broadcast television is playing before 9pm at night during a show that clearly has children as apart of the target audience. I mean WTF? So, there I am for the next 20 minutes explaining WTF sex with no attachments means and how inappropriate it is. And all the reasons it’s a bad idea, etc.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been appalled by something accessible via broadcast television, but it’s probably the first time my kid was there watching with me when I heard/saw it.

I expect garbage from cable, and it’s a service you have to pay to obtain, so while I don’t like some of the mess they show, I don’t feel as strongly that they need to be regulated as much as broadcast television.

While writing this I googled to find the demographics of American Idol’s viewers and apparently in 2009 the viewership’s median age was 40. I still think it’s irresponsible for them show that kind of commercial when some of the contestants on the show shouldn’t even be hearing or seeing that kind of mess. Not to mention there are still kids watching.

Ok…rant over!

~ Ciao

Weight Loss Wednesday - Volumes 23 & 24 (Double Edition)

2011-01-19T08:14:00.004-06:00

I have bad news and good news.

Bad news - Last week, week 23, the scale said I had lost 0.2 pounds. So, basically for the second week in a row I had lost nothing. 0.2 pounds could have been the fact that I had less moisturizer in my hair, lol. I would have rather the things said zero. But anyway...

Good news - This week I lost some real weight...everybody say YEAHHH! lol. So, I stepped up on the scale this morning and it read....181.7...I'm finally almost done playing around in the 180's. Almost, but not quite. I'm still pleased with this progress, albeit slow.

So, here are my stats:
Starting weight - 218.5lbs
Current weight - 181.7lbs
Weight loss to date - 36.8lbs

Challenges:
Over the past two weeks, I was dealing with some knee pains which made me slow my behind down when it came to running and trying to log so many miles. I did continue to work on strength training/weights, but probably not tot he extent I should have. Not being able to run did something to me mentally (I know that sounds silly). But, really, I wasn't extremely motivated to go workout knowing that I couldnt' run. Seems like I should have been more motivated since I was losing the opportunity to burn so many calories by pounding the pavement.

The week leading up to my 0.2lb loss, I did a piss poor job of planning. I usually always have a sandwich with me, a bowl of broccoli or asparagus, and many pieces of fruit. This helps to always have some healthy on hand to snack on simply something in case I get caught in a lunch meeting filled with crazy food, or a meeting with donuts and cookies. While my willpower is leaps and bounds above what it used to be, there is still a junkfood-o-holic that lives inside of me. If I don't do something to manage her, she will take control. I know that, and so I leave my house prepared. With the exception of that week. There were about three days (not consecutively) that I ended up eating fat and probably sugar filled breads, uberly processed deli meats, chocolate chip cookies, and even high sodium tortilla soup. My inner fat girl was having a blast, but my new healthy girl was shaking her head in confusion. It's a hard battle to fight, really. Put that on top of the fact that my cardio slowed down tremendously that week, and there you have a mere 0.2 pound loss. I finally snapped out of it and all is right with the world.

Side note: Eating foods and ingredients after not having them for so long did something to my body. I could actually tell a difference in how I felt. For example those coookies gave me a headache 10 minutes later...They were too sweet. The high sodium tortilla soup had my stomach grumbling and left me feeling puffy for a whole day. It's good to be able to hear your body..but why did it take me three days to listen...I will never know, lol.

Success:
After about a week of low activity and poor eating, I got back on track and haven't looked back. I feel renewed and recharged. Much of it has to do with my knee feeling better, but also that I'm feeding myself the way it should be fed again.

I have also increased my weights on certain machines. For arm machines I usually put the weights on 30-35, but now I'm up to 45. My arms have always been one of my least favorite areas on my body, but you wouldn't know it by how much I wear them out, lol. Anyway, I can't wait until I can start seeing some definition in them. Oh, to have Michelle O's arms :)

Well, that's it.

How is you weightloss journey going? Or your fitness goals? We all have them, even if we don't make them public to the world. I hope you've started the year off right!

~ Ciao