Some To Be Pastors...

"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ" Ephesians 4:11-13
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Around this time last year I started verbally expressing my confusion about why I was in California. I started feeling it around the holidays in 2008, but I figured it was mere nostalgia as the holidays sometimes have a way of bringing that on when you live away from family. Well, as the holidays passed, the feeling of needing to know why I was there didn’t. I decided to focus on my spiritual self and a relationship with God during that time. It started for my own selfish reasons of wanting clarity on California and other areas of my life, but I can honestly say it grew into so much more. I was so spiritually full during that time.

There was a church I was attending that I absolutely loved. I remember that even in the midst of me wanting to relocate, I kept wishing I could put that church in my pocket and take it with me. It was there that I actually connected with the law of tithing. Prior to that, some of you long time readers may recall, I was confused about tithing…I even thought financial tithing was not a requirement. The pastor at that church made things so clear for me. And, he always invited guest pastors who shared that same talent. Leaving that church was one of the toughest parts about leaving California. I try not to compare other churches to that one, but it’s hard. Of the churches I’ve visited in Texas, none have made me feel the excitement that I did at Abundant Life.

The pastor of that church does radio shows, and today I went to the site that broadcasts his show and other Christian shows only to discover that all of his shows were unavailable. I was confused, so I just started googling him to see if maybe another site was the new broadcaster. Well, I came across information that really hit me bad.

I found out that the pastor resigned in December due to “moral failure” and had “confessed to his wife.” One can speculate on what that means, but I won’t go down that road.

When I first read the information, I had to reread it slowly again and again. For some reason I felt a sense of loss. Now, I know we’re not supposed to put these preachers on pedestals, etc, and I haven’t. What I did do was truly appreciate this man for helping me understand the word, and how and why it applies to my life. I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. That church was a real blessing to me while I was there, and its impact has been lasting. I pray that all the members and visitors maintain their faith through this ordeal remembering that God is in control.

~ Ciao

Good To Great - Public Speaking

“Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness is largely a matter of conscious choice, and discipline.” ~ Jim Colli.ns

I’ve always thought I had adequate public speaking skills, okay, I’ve actually always thought I had great public speaking skills, lol. In my younger days I did speech and debate, I was an attorney for teen court, I was in drama and the star of my 8th grade play (good times, lol), I entered speech contests, and some other stuff I know I’m forgetting. Even when I became an adult and had to present in classes and at work, I’ve always been great (in my mind and according to feedback, anyway) I’ve never been intimidated by speaking to large crowds or even intimate ones. However, I think it’s time I go back and hone some of my skills.

It’s pretty regular these days that I have to make presentations to small and large groups of people. Most of these presentations are televised and I NEVER go back to watch them because it just feels weird to watch myself. But, after the circus that went on the other night (I briefly mentioned this a couple of posts ago), I wanted to go back and see from a viewer’s perspective how things played out in that room. While watching, I didn’t think I was great…and really, isn’t the goal here to strive for greatness? I was good, and that’s it. That led me to go back and look at some other presentations, and I felt the same way – kinda blah. Don’t get me wrong, I feel like they were all home-runs, not because I hit the ball out of the park, though, but rather because I ran really fast and was probably up against some less than stellar players.

Anyway, I’ve mentioned all that to say, I’m going to join a Toastmasters group. If you’ve never heard of toastmasters, their website will give you all the detailed info you want. I knew some people in California and DC who participated, and they loved it to pieces. Basically it’s a group of people who work on their public speaking skills as a group and in the process learn other valuable skills and hopefully gets valuable feedback. That’s just a brief description…if you’re interested go to the website and find a club in your area.

I started my research on local groups yesterday and I was surprised to discover that there are like 15 groups out here in the burbs with me. I found the one that best fits my schedule, and gave the organizer a call. My first meeting is tomorrow! I’m so excited and hopeful that this is the tool that will help me move from Good to Great on the public speaking front!

Have any of you ever done toastmasters or anything similar?? Tell me about it!

P.S. Good to Great is actually the title of a very interesting book and good read about specific principles that are pertinent to a company’s progression from good to great, but I find it can be applied to one’s individual journey as well.

~ Ciao

Tuesday Ten

1. I’m reading a series of works by Thomas Paine’s right now (taking a break before starting my next presidential bio). I’ve started with “Common Sense” and will move on to “Rights of Man” next. I remember the first time I heard of Common Sense and Thomas Paine was in my 8th grade American history class when we were on the subject of the American Revolution. I never read the whole pamphlet, but it was stressed to us just how “radical” Paine was for his time. Funny side note, the teacher (one of the most engaging I’ve ever had), got us to remember Thomas Paine and his Common Sense pamphlet by telling us to remember Paine by his initials TP and to think of TP as standing for toilet paper. Then we were to remember that is was “common sense” to use toilet paper. He was such a cornball, but very effective, lol.

2. Guess who didn’t wait to do her taxes until April this year? If you guessed me, you guessed right! I did my taxes over the weekend. I have to file by mail this year since I have to provide proof that I purchased a home. Now, if I can actually put the paperwork in the mail before April, I’ll truly be impressed with myself, lol.

3. I’ve already decided I want to save about $3500 the first half of next year, to have my backyard land and hard-scaped next summer. I’m really excited about this. I have a vision for what I want done back there, I just hope $3500 will be enough. I saw some patio furniture on sale that I really like…I think I’m going to get a couple pieces in late Spring.

4. There are several 11 year old sixth grade girls that live on or near our block. Alyssa has made fast friends with some of them, and on Saturday evening some of them came over. A group of girls can guarantee loud talk and some aggravation. I didn’t mind, though. I’m really happy that she’s adjusting so quickly to her new environment…AGAIN. I wasn’t surprised, but still very happy that she wasn’t trying to push me away from them. I didn’t necessarily want to be in the same vicinity with them (see: group of girls being loud), but when she asked me to play a game with them I was happy to do it. Let’s hope she’s never too cool for her mommy. [oh, she did almost try to call me mom…I wish she would have…my name is MOMMY little girl, lol…I don’t care who is around].

5. Ddad and I have worked out the stupid dog plan….ugh! He’s going to get it for her birthday, and he has agreed that the dog will be coming with her for the time she spends with him during the Summer. Welll, that kinda wasn’t up for negotiation…it was either that or she could wait until after summer to get one. So, he provides the money and I have to find the dog. We’re still working out negotiations on vet bills, lol. I say we split them down the middle, he says I’m crazy…maybe just a little.

6. I paid my first mortgage payment yesterday…it felt so good!

7. I had a presentation last night for work, and I really let some stuff get to me. I’m learning the very difficult art of biting my tongue. I’ll tell you what, it’s painful. The things people do to make themselves look smart never stop amazing me. I went back and watched the replay when I got home, and the first thing that came to my mind was that it looked like a preschool fight at the circus. Ridiculous. But, it’s a new day.

8. I need a vacation where the only thing on the itenirary is to sit on the beach under a large umbrella in a cozy lounge, sipping on some Mai Thais and reading some great books. Maybe go dancing in the evenings or check out some cultural museums on reading breaks. Wait...I'm hoping that's what we do in the DR!

9. I have a co worker who is very kind. He's always helpful, blah, blah, blah. The problem is he's always rude to another coworker of ours. She can ask the most simple of questions and he has to answer her with disgust in his voice. It really irks me.

10. I didn't bring our bikes from California, and both Alyssa and I are ready to get new ones. I sure hope someone is having a sale...sigh.

Have an awesome Tuesday!!

~Ciao

The Depths of Laziness

I had an early start to my morning. Earlier than usual, but it all turned out just fine. When I got out of bed my mind fell on Proverbs, so that's where my morning bible reading was focused.

This verse, which I know I've read many times before never really popped out at me until this morning.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." (Proverbs 13:12 NIV)

The thing is that lately I've been lazy about my business. I get everything done that is required, but I've been doing it with a lazy heart and a lazy mind. And, that has been weighing on me. I've prayed about this laziness, I've asked for more focus, to find and connect with motivation. Still I'm being lazy. During this lazy period, I'm constantly seeing messages about the detriment of laziness....I've seen it on people's blog posts (and the laziness wasn't even the focus...just a hidden message of sorts), I've read it in my bible readings not even knowing it was in those chapters, I've heard it on television. I know the message, I hear it, I get it: If I continue to be lazy my life will unravel. Although I know that, I haven't been able to snap out of it.

But, this morning I saw the message in a different way. A way that had been there all along, I just didn't say it the way the bible verse did. I have so many hopes and dreams for my life and Alyssa's life. So many hopes and dreams I'm living right now at this very moment. I've worked hard to fulfill those dreams and to get closer to the ones that haven't yet come to be. Why would I let my laziness get in the way of my dreams, my hopes.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick..." Amen, Amen, Amen. I think that's why this laziness has been weighing on me so. Despite me getting the required things done, I still feel a heavy burden for not doing it with dilligence and energy. Back in grad school I was lazy with my class work. Sure I got it all done, I studied, my grades were great, but I did things at the very last minute...I was lazy about. But, the difference between now and then is that my heart wasn't burdened then. I felt no guilt about it until I was in the library at 4am studying for a test that was scheduled for later that day.

This time, though, my heart is sick. There is no telling how many hopes I've deferred in the last 2 months by being lazy. My heart is crying out for me to do better. It's not too late.

I do believe some of it has to do with my lack of focus on the word. I've even been lazy in that regard. I'll write in my prayer journal, but I won't read the word and study it everyday. I'll pray verbally, but so much of it has been auto pilot praying. Just admitting that makes me sick. How dare I do that?

Someone recently told me that I'm at a crucial point in my life where I need to be really tight with God. How right she is. It's like I see the big danger sign ahead, and I have the opportunity to get off that road and onto the one I belong...I just need to take it. I have to start by taking EVERYTHING to Him. He sees it all anyway...I'm fool if I think otherwise. I need to talk it out with him...ASK for guidance and SEEk wisdom instead of just whining about it.

I'm making a conscience decision to seek God FIRST in my decisions. Oh how I wish seeking Him first was an automatic and natural thing for me. Through God all things are possible, and through Him I will get out of the depths of laziness.

~ Ciao

2/2010

Happy February!

Not sure if any of you noticed, but I didn't post any monthly goals for January. I decided that I would use the month to get my mind right for my yearly goals. I did accomplish some things this month that make me happy:

1. writing in my prayer journal.
2. Eating at home 5 days a week, some weeks I didn't eat out at all.
3. Set up a meeting with someone I'd like to be one of my mentors.
4. Modified my budget to reach my yearly financial goal.
5. Exercised 3x per week.
6. Learning more and more about the men who have led the Country through the Office of the President.
7. Did my hair everyday.


As for the month of February, my goal is to work on my mind and spirit.
1. Read and study the Bible everyday. I have two books I'll be focusing on.
2. No television during the week. I'm getting back to the point where I'm watching too much. Television proves to be a battle for me much the way sweets are. It's like I can't have it in moderation.
3. Walking meditation 3x per week. If you remember, I did something like this last year and I really enjoyed it. It's time well spent with the thoughts of my heart and mind.
4. Build back up to consistent jogging. I jogged at the track the other day to determine how far I could go without stopping after not jogging consistently lately. Well, I made it three laps and then I had to walk. I want to at least make it back to 4 laps this month (that's 1 mile). I'm hoping I can surpass it, but 1 mile will make me happy.
5. Visit two new churches. I like the church we've been attending, but I feel like a piece is missing. I don't know what that piece is, but I'm going to look around a bit this month.

I also hope to learn something new about Black history....not the same old recycled information that rises to the surface every February.

What are your goals for the month?

~ Ciao

New Budget Formula

As I try to firm up activities for the new year, adjust to my new mortgage, new bills that come with a house (security system, water treatment system, HOA fees, yard maintenance), and a new line item on my budget – home maintenance emergency fund, I have been reviewing and modifying my household budget. I don't know about you, but I need a budget to survive, it’s just how I’ve wired myself. Just about all of my money is allocated to a column on my budget spreadsheet with the exception of $145.77 a month, and that money is just for me to mess over…quick stops at the smoothie place, book store escapades that exceed my personal allowance, and items Alyssa convinces me to purchase for her on the fly. All in all, not much.

During this whole review I’ve noticed a couple of good changes:
1. My employer has increased monthly cellphone allowances. This is great news because my personal phone doubles as my work phone, so now I come out of pocket only $40 for me and Alyssa’s plan.
2. I no longer have a laundry bill. That’s right folks, I now do my own laundry. I got all the home appliances in the negotiations process...yay! So, I figure since I'm blessed to have a washer and dryer, I should use them. I’m not sure if this bill will make much difference, though.


I’ve also noticed some line items I have the ability to decrease:
1. Car Insurance - Right now I pay full coverage for my car. I’ve blogged about my green machine so much that most of you know she is now 11 years old. I don’t plan on replacing her until 2011. [However, I’m claiming that I win that car raffle in May]. Anyway, I could easily lower my car insurance coverage. There is no reason to have full coverage on a car so old. I was grateful for having it those times my car was broken into, but now I have a garage, so the chances of this happening are slim. I’ve been considering this change for months, but I think it’s time to actually make a move.
2. Gym – I have access to a free gym through my employer, and I use it more than I use the gym I pay for. I went ahead and canceled my membership since I wasn’t under any contract.
3. Food – this column is over budgeted because I factor in dine out expenses. This is only for mommy/daughter dine out dates, not when I dine out during lunch or hang out (that money is in my personal allowance). At any rate, we eat out much less now that we cook more at home. Since eating at home 5 nights per week is a year long goal of mine, I will not need the extra padding in my Food budget.


All of these changes and potential decreases will free up approximately $289.00 per month. I assumed that my car insurance would drop by at least 40%, and that Alyssa and I would not exceed $90/month in dine out dates. This savings would cover the following:
Water treatment system - $35
Yard maintenance (grass and trim only) - $40
Security System - $31
HOA - $35/mo (paid semi annually)
Water bill average - $70
The remaining $78 will go toward the Home Maintenance and Emergency fund.

So, after putting together the new budget it reveals, as I expected, that my monthly savings ability has decreased. Prior to buying the house, 50% of my monthly savings were reserved for my Home Down Payment Fund, 30% for rainy day/emergency fund, 10% Car emergency fund, and 10% travel. **In the interest of full disclosure, I did not contribute to my travel fund every month. When wanting something that went beyond my personal monthly allowance, it was easy to dip into that pot. I will not be doing that this year.**

I’m changing my formula to 60% Rainy Day/Emergency fund; 30% Home Maintenance/Home Emergency; 10% Travel, and I’m eliminating the Car fund because there is enough money there already. If I end up needing to use it on my car, I’ll reevaluate my savings formula to replenish it.

Overall, it looks like I’m saving only $100 less per month than the months Pre House. So, that means I’m still saving more in Rainy Day funds than before. It’s amazing because my mortgage is more than what my rent was (I had some dirt cheap rent) and everything still looks good on the savings front. I thought I would have to decrease savings by at least $350 a month. I know that much of it has to do with me scrubbing my budget to reduce over spending (like that car insurance and gym bill). Also, I cannot overlook the fact that eating out less plays a big role. When I look back over how much I spent eating out last year, it makes me want to scream, and then go back to those places and ask for my money back.

Okay, one last thing. Although I was saving money specifically for my Home down payment, seeing that money in my savings account made me very happy. I knew that it would eventually be leaving my hands, but I came to enjoy looking at the boost it gave my entire savings account. So, because of that, I’ve decided to replenish those funds. This is actually one of my financial goals for the year.

This new savings formula and budget are effective February 1st. This month I decided to be totally irresponsible and spend what I should have been saving on household items, like new furniture and such. Sometimes it feels good to be bad, but the bad reign is coming to close in a few days, lol.

How often do you reevaluate your budget?

The Cooking Chronicles -- Week 3

It's been 3 weeks and we're still at it. It no longer feels weird to come home and cook dinner. I don't even gripe about it on the inside. I look forward to it most days. Alyssa and I have some of the best conversations while cooking together. We either have the television playing in the background, so we can see what's happening at the end of Chr.is Matthe.ws or the start of Ke.ith Olb.ermann. She indulges me with political talk until she gets tired of it and wants to change the subject, lol.

Sometimes we play records in the background and take breaks to do impromptu two person soul train lines...ah

what fun.

On to the food...

Last week we had 2 more delicious meals and 1 that was less than delicious (only to me, Alyssa loved it).

Mango Haberno Pork over Cuban Guacamole - This recipe called for mango chutney, something I had not tasted prior to then. It provided a good sweet undertone to the meal after being mixed with haberno peppers. That wasn't the best part of the dish, though. It was the guacamole! I'm not usually a fan of guacamole, but this was very good. The avocado was mixed with pineapple, cilantro, lime juice, and cumin. What a delightful combination. Here's the pic:

Beef Curry with Mushrooms, Snow Peas, and Water Chestnuts - In the first bite of this meal I slightly yelled, "Water chestnuts, that's what those are." I would always see those white things in my Chinese food, and I would usually pick them out, but every now and then one would sneak its way into my mouth. They were never nasty, just different, and I didn't want anything different in my Chinese food. I never knew what they were until last week...they're water chestnuts, and they are good. Maybe everything tastes so good to me because I'm cooking it, I dunno. At any rate, I enjoyed the water chestnuts. The Beef Curry was good as well. Curry should be in 3 out of 4 meals...I'm just saying. We had this with green beans and brown rice...great combo! Here's the pic:

Lasagna Rolls - I. do. not. like. lasagna. It just tastes weird. I didn't even want to make it. We got all the way to the last possible day before making it. ugh. I also wasn't excited to make this meal because there was no meat involved. Look, I'm a meat eater, period. When I'm hungry, the first thing I think about it meat. There is absolutely nothing appealing to me about a recipe consisting of outrageously thick noodles filled with cheese and topped with tomato sauce...nothing. ok...enough whining. I didn't want let the kid down, so I made the rolls. I even ate one...yep, just one. It was alright, not as bad as I thought it'd be. The cheese was delicious. It was a combo of goat cheese, mozzarella, and Parmesan. I still insist that lasagna noodles are gross, but since these were wheat I think they tasted slightly better than regular noodles.

We're starting Week 4 tomorrow....first up is Bloody Mary Chili. My mother makes some bomb chili, I hope this recipe is just as good.

Continue to wish us luck, if something else meatless comes up, I'll need it.

~ Ciao