Florida Bound

We're up and ready for this flight to see the family. I'm super duper excited. I'm going to see my uncle after not having seen him in years, my granny is doing all the cooking, and my sister didn't find an excuse not to come. It's going to be a grand day!

Alyssa has promised not to run to her grandparents house the moment we get there. They live across the street from my granny and she totally abandons us for the first few hours upon every arrival, then she comes back to my granny's house for a few minutes and then back over there until we leave. Anyway...not today, yay! By the way, I don't care if that sounds selfish, that's my baby and I enjoy her being around, lol.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, Everyone! Eat waaaay too much and enjoy family and friends.

The holiday season has begun, wooo hooo!!!!

~ Ciao

Dating

I don’t think I’ve seen so many fine men in a city than I have in Dallas. They are everywhere and in every color and size. Remember I was going to take a man break until next year. Well, I’m done with the man break. I’m not sure if I was ever fully on the man break. I met someone a couple of weeks ago…no one to write home about, but someone I’ve enjoyed conversing with. We haven’t gone out on a date yet, though. That’s coming when I get back from holiday. Maybe he’ll be blog name worthy by then. I’ve actually met a few someone’s, but you know how some people get cut before they even get on the court, lol.

I’ve gone on a kinda date with a kinda male friend a couple of times. I say kinda because I heard it through the grapevine (singing the song) that he called the outings we had dates, but it wasn’t presented to me that way. Hmm, that’s cool with me. We do flirt and have admitted to being attracted to each other, but other than that it feels like a cousin thing. No, I don’t flirt with nor am I attracted to my cousins, but that’s how it seems with him. Hard to explain. At any rate, he’s fun.

I was talking to a friend not too long ago and she asked why I dated so much and don’t I get tired of it. Well, seeing how I haven’t been on a date (minus the kinda dates) in over a month, I’m not tired, lol. But seriously, I told her, like I’ve said here before, I love to date. She asked why and I told her I wasn’t quite sure. I just like getting to know people. I like seeing how men operate when they’re interested in more than being buddies. My answer didn’t satisfy her. She bombarded me with numerous follow up questions…I can’t remember them all, but here’s what I can remember:

Isn’t it discouraging to date so much and nothing turn into a relationship?
Don’t you get tired of playing the get to know you game?
Aren’t you tired of getting hurt?


After some thought, I think what I really like are the possibilities a new guy offers. When I’m dating someone, I don’t fully know him and his quirks yet. I don’t know that he’s going to hurt me. Actually, all I know is that he’s a great guy with whom I’ve having wonderful outings. At that point, he could turn out to be all the great things I see when I visualize the husband of my future. He has all the potential of greatness. He’s unblemished…he hasn’t made me cry, he hasn’t lied to me, he hasn’t turned into an ugly monster…he’s just a ball of magical feeling and relationship potential.

Every time I date a new guy, it’s exciting because he could be the one. I’m not saying I go into it with expectations that he’s the one, but the possibilities of all the loving things he may do for me and our children one day does sit in my mind. I mean dating with an objective is so much better than not, imo.

Getting hurt is the chance one takes when dating. All I can do is hope the next guy is different and apply lessons learned to avoid poor man choices. But, to stop dating because I may get hurt is not an option for me. I’m not letting one or five bad monkeys stop my show.

In the past, I’ve even dated in the midst of my hurt…shoot, I’m not letting all that crying and being emotional make me miss out on the potential of something great. I would cry through it (sometimes while blogging about it – you’ve read the pitiful posts, lol) and then go wash my face and get fly for my date.

I’m also not discouraged. Sure, there are days when I wish I was past all the preliminaries and with my him. But, I can’t get to that point if I just give up and stop participating in the dating part of life. I’m not discouraged because I have full faith that my Mr. Right For Aretha is out there and he’s mine for the taking.

I’m excited by the fact that my him is still out there…and I hope he’s enjoying dating while he is on his journey to find me. I hope those women are teaching him some valuable lessons that will only make our relationship stronger.

Do you like dating? Why or why not?

Oh yeah, I remember both Sincerely Go and Rashan asking about flirting and how I date so much, respectively. I’ve been meaning to get to that…um, maybe soon. Lol.

~ Ciao

Vision

I often visualize myself in the future doing all the things I dream of doing. All the things I believe fulfill my purpose in life. Things such as contributing to the success and betterment of communities around the country; expanding charities and making volunteerism an effortless part of my lifestyle for causes that truly leave lasting, positive impacts on lives; enjoying my space and the people around me; having a direct hand in breaking generational cycles such as obesity, teenage pregnancy, and poverty from my own family; being a loving wife and mother; and enjoying my favorite sport - politics.


I briefly want to talk about that first part - "contributing to the success and betterment of communities around the country." My career goal, as I've said here before, is to become a City Manager. I love local government and being a City Manager is the peak of my profession. I often visualize myself as a City Manager. I even keep a notebook of all the great policies and programs I plan to implement in my first City. I write what my ideal community would look like (small details of this often changes as the world changes), and how I might motivate and influence people to help in achieving that vision. After all, it will take more than my brilliance to achieve a successful community, lol.


I've had the pleasure of working for 3 City Managers in drastically different cities, and a 2 year stint working in DC politics. Through the years, I've written down all of the lessons that I've learned in these positions. I haven't just captured the skills and experiences learned as is done through a resume. I write what life and career lessons I've learned. There are things I will definitely try to duplicate when I'm a CM and there are things I promise not to touch with a 10 foot pole. I'm grateful for having recognized so many lessons from the wonderful people I've worked for.


The position I have today is a couple of steps removed from my ultimate goal. Actually, if in a couple of years I wanted to take the leap and bypass the Deputy position, I have all the faith in the world that I could do that. However, getting to that top spot means nothing to me if I cannot be effective and benefit the people, so it's not a rush to the finish, but rather me being eager to effectuate change from the pinnacle of my profession.



Last week I sat on a panel regarding city and regional issues that was moderated by a former CM. While he was making a speech and talking about his experiences in the profession, I saw myself in a few years. I had on a Red Blazer that had textured print with a black suit skirt and some black pumps. I had a chunky yet tasteful bracelet on and my hair was shorter than it is now and still very curly. I had on more makeup than I wear now and I was standing at a microphone talking to my entire city staff in a town hall type meeting. I was the new CM for the city and I was introducing myself and explaining my vision. I told them that they are the key to our success, so be prepared to be challenged and bring forth innovative ideas. I've visualized myself before, but there was a different feeling this time. I can't explain it. I had a big smile on my face during this little day dream of mine, and that made the moderator ask for my answer first...luckily I already knew what his first topic was about...lol.


I read s23's blog a while ago and she was talking about a friend who wanted something for her future, but the friend never imagined or visualized herself doing the things she wanted. That surprised me, and apparently it stuck with me because while drafting this it popped in my mind again. I visualize the fulfillment of all my dreams, desires, goals, etc. And, I get so happy when I see it. I can only hope that more people do the same. While running the race of life, preparing for all the things you want in your future, make sure to stop and SEE it! See it, feel it, become it!


Live your vision :)

~ Ciao

The Low Down - Weekend Edition

Happy Sunday Everyone!!!

First things first, the homegirl Denise turned the big Three Zero today. YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!! She has proclaimed to be thirty and flirty, and I know she's doing it well :) Happy Birthday, Girl!

Okay, moving on to some weekend news. Friday was extremely low key...so low that I was in bed by 9:30pm. I was still sick on Friday and after pumping myself full of medicine, I just fell out. I woke able to breathe out of both nostrils and my voice was bouncing back from it's previous raspiness (is that a word?? lol). Before going to bed, I did have a litte fun though. Alyssa and I practiced together for her next speech competition and even got in a game of scrabble.

Saturday was all about fun, fun, fun. We hung out a little in my work City. Alyssa loves the downtown area there, so we did that. Afterward I. went. shopping. Wooohoooo. I didn't go crazy, actually I didn't even have the desire to go crazy. I got a couple new pair of jeans, some cute pants, and two sexy tops. I was on a quest to find some cute work to happy hour dresses, but I had no luck :(. I'm going to hit up Marshall's today to see what I can find.

Saturday night I hung out at a wine and cheese party. I met some new interesting people. I love meeting new people! I even had a new red wine that I enjoyed...yummy!

This morning I woke up in plenty of time to go to church, but decided not to go. That was not a good idea. Next weekend we'll be going to the church I grew up in. It's going to be interesting. I haven't been to that church in at least 7 years. But, my granny wants us to go, so we'll be going.

I'm going to round out my weekend with some a much needed mani/pedi and some more light shopping.

It's Christmas Tree time!!! You all know how much I heart Christmas. I'm so super duper excited!!!

How was your weekend????

~ Ciao

Free

Not so long ago I was asked about my fears. Whenever I have been asked that question as an adult the answer has been the same. The fear of being poor. As I've said before, I'm not really sure where this fear comes from, it was just there.

Well, I report today that it's no longer a fear. That may sound strange to some people...the fact that I'm just over this fear. Well, last month I began my little journey of self reflection and all that. That consists of me reflecting on who I am, who I want to be, what I like and don't like about myself, and what changes need to be implemented to help me be the best Aretha I was designed to be.

We've all heard before that we weren't made to live in fear, blah, blah, blah. Well, it's true. Fear is mental, period. And, I determined that the kind of fear I had about one day being poor is a waste of my energy and brain space. I reached the conclusion through reading, writing, more reading, praying, and more praying.

I've been given the ability to make choices about my life. Those choices determine my future, and I have a vision for my life that does not include living under a bridge or being poor to the point I can't take care of my family and myself. So, I had to think, "what was this fear all about."

I pretty much figured out that it was generated out of my family circumstances growing up, but somehow morphed into something much more drastic and dangerous to my mind.

My only fear is God and not fulfilling the greatness he has designed for my life.

It's freeing to live fearlessly. Especially when the fear comes from a hypothetical.

Do you have any fears, and how do you plan on getting past them?

~ Ciao

The Works

Career:
A major peice of my big project was presented this week and I made it out alive! There was a minor hiccup, but nothing that couldn't be immediately fixed. I'm still so excited and looking forward to the results of everything over the next several months.

In addition to my "major" project that is underway, I have several other pressing things on my plate at work and to top it off I've been given another "major" project. I love my job! It's been keeping me all sorts of busy and I've been interacting with more and more of our citizens which is always a treat even when it's really not, lol.

One thing I've noticed, and I think this is probably true in most communities, is that the same 100 or so people are active in everything regarding a community. More people really need to take a vested interest in their communities and not just through local charities and the like, but also through the local government. The decisions that are made at this level are so intertwined into everyday life that it just makes common sense. Okay, I'm off that soap box for now.

I've been sick all week, but because of everything listed above, I made myself go into work. My week has consisted of going in super early, leaving extra late, going home and crawling into bed. 2 of the three nights Alyssa was already in bed because it was so late. I hate not debriefing about her day on the actual day. Although our mornings have been early, that's where I've tried to pack in some fun since I know I'll be home so late.

Weight Loss:
Remember a couple weeks ago when I told you I won the package to the weightloss clinic?? Well, I've been going for a couple weeks and I've lost 4 pounds...yay! I'm excited.

My running is nearly non existent unless at bootcamp, and that ends tomorrow. I've been good about the strength training, though. Well, not really good, but better than running.

Reading:
My goal to read the 4 presidential bios is practically shot because I've hardly read this week at all. When I do finish Nixon, I'm on to Eisenhower. I know some of you probably think I should I read Ike's first since Nixon was his VP, but I do things in my own order, lol.

I'm considering doing some work from home tomorrow and then spending the weekend on my sofa....unless I start to magically feel better today. Let's hope I feel better, so I can go enjoy this crisp Texas weather this weekend.

~ Ciao

Ready For The Weekend

Happy Friday!!! I'm going to hang out with some folks tonight and enjoy some yummy-licious sushi...mmmm. I can't wait. I need a delightful end to what's been an extremely loong week at work and home.

I immediately found a dance studio to fulfill Alyssa's out of the blue desire to learn to dance. A new class started this week, so it all worked out perfectly. I was secretly watching her through the glass and she was doing a great job. I think the soul train lines have paid off, lol. She enjoyed the class very much, so I've decided to sign her up for the next few months. Aw, my future dance machine.

Saturday will be all about her as she has an all day speech/debate tournament. She is doing a story monolouge type thing. Her practice has been going well, but today her nerves started messing with her.

For some reason this month's bookclub meeting was changed to Saturday evening/night. Well, the reason was so we could see Precious and then have dinner to discuss. I enjoy my bookclub, so I want to see the movie and discuss it and the book over dinner with them, but not really this saturday night. There is so much other stuff going on...decisions, decisions.

I've been off my shopping strike since November 1st after nearly 4 months, but I haven't purchased anything yet. I haven't even been in the mood to buy anything other than some new perfume, but I haven't even gotten to the store to do that.

The countdown to Thanksgiving and seeing my family is on! I can't wait to get to Florida and spend some QT with them. Whoa, I just said I couldn't wait to get to Florida....that's a first, lol.

My Presidential Bio reading is going great. I'm still reading on Nixon.

Alyssa and I were joking around about something and she was playfully being mean to me, so I told her that she was breaking my heart. That little heffa said, "well if I'm breaking your heart in two, you will have more hearts to love me with" I had no come back, lol.

I found a new volunteering organization and I'm muy excited; I'm going to get my paper work in by the end of next week. Alyssa found an org that she can volunteer with as well, but they haven't been responsive, so I've told her to go back to the drawing board.

Have a happy, happy weekend!!